


The Assistant

by OliveTreee



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Best Friends, Bittersweet Ending, Character Death, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Implied Sexual Content, Out of Character, Reunions, Romance, Slow Build, Slow Burn, the slowest of burns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:33:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 54
Words: 57,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26823715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OliveTreee/pseuds/OliveTreee
Summary: “I doubt that you’ll go out and see the rest of the world and still want to come back here. I will not be displeased if you never fulfill your current desire.” Severus spoke plainly and Theodosia dipped her head with an embarrassed frown on her lips.She had figured he would say as much; shoo her away as he so often did to others. She hadn’t for a moment taken his favor to mean she would be an exception to his harshness, but she couldn’t deny the disappointment that his words-“However.” He said, and her eyes quickly snapped to him again, “Should you still find yourself longing to return here and live out your career as a mere assistant, despite your talents and potential...I will not turn you away. On the slight chance you do come back, Ms. Blight, I will make use of you as you so wish.”
Relationships: Severus Snape/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 205
Kudos: 230





	1. Assistant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which she comes back, even after all these years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt it necessary to address something before I continue updating this work. 
> 
> By no means do I support JK Rowling or any of the horrible things she has said and done against the trans community. While I am a fan of her work, I in now way agree with her beliefs or anything she says. It's a pity that such an influential individual known for creating such an iconic story goes out of her way to invalidate and insult a whole group of people. For those who are transgender or anyone else effected by her words, please know that I stand behind you.

Her fingers flitted over the cool glass, sometimes she stopped to trace the inked words of its label or fondly remember the last time she had used this particular ingredient, before she would continue on. She recalled the years spent in this classroom, the feeling of being able to craft and create each and every potion thrown her way with ease. Other subjects she did well enough with, passed with decent scores and had no more interest in them than the next student. But potions was different, it always had been. Since the moment her parents’ had bought her very first kit at the young age of 10, Theodosia had adored potions above all else. 

Seven years she had spent in this room, creating more concoctions than she could have ever dreamed of and loving every moment of it. She had helped countless partners, led hundreds of study sessions, memorized every text book back and front. Whatever there was to know about potions, she had learned it all in the many years she had spent crafting away in the dungeons of Hogwarts. 

“Miss. Blight.” 

She turned, amber eyes moving from the shelves and rows of glass vials and to the tall figure who loomed in the doorway. The sight of him made her smile, just as it nearly always had in these last few years. 

“Professor.” She nodded in return, meeting his cool gaze.

“Is there a reason you’re caressing my ingredients?” He asked, and the words turned her smile just a little more bashful. 

“It’s the last time I’ll ever get a chance to do so, I’m afraid,” She replied, then turned her gaze back to the sprigs of Belladonna that sat behind the glass, “I’m going to miss this place the most.” 

He stood with his hands folded behind his back and simply observed her for a moment before speaking again. 

“You shouldn’t waste time mourning your departure,” Snape stated, moving further into the room to approach his desk, “Your talents were wasted here.” 

The words flattered her, and she turned away from the shelf once more to watch the way he shifted through a neat stack of parchment that sat on his desk. 

“That’s very kind of you to say, Professor,” She thanked, her head bowed a little in humility, “Thank you.” 

“Raise your chin, Miss. Blight.” He lightly scolded without even having to turn to look, “You should be past the point of modesty by now.” 

It was rare of him to offer this praise, no matter how backhanded it was, but she was thankful for it. There may never be another chance to see him again after she graduated from this school, and this could very well be the last time they ever met. 

Since the very beginning, Severus Snape had been her favorite. Sure, he was a gloomy and brooding man with little care for students and even less care for their enjoyment, but he had never failed to treat his potions with the utmost importance. Despite how unenjoyable he may have found his audience to be, the care and dedication he put into each and every brew was unparalleled. Theodosia had been enamored with his talents from the very start, already thrilled to have a potions class and then elated to have a professor as committed to the craft as she was. 

“Your recommendation letter.” He beckoned as he held the wax sealed envelope out for her to take. 

Theodosia stepped forward and took the letter from his hands, holding it close as she looked over the emerald wax and Slytherin symbol with a barely contained smile. 

“Thank you again for this,” She said with a small bow of her head, “It’s very kind of you.”

“I wouldn’t call it kindness. It would be a shame if your gifts went to waste on any other profession.” Snape replied, his dark eyes turned to her, “What is it exactly you plan on pursuing once you graduate, Miss. Blight?” 

“I’d like to take up an apprenticeship in London under Johnathan Prickle, sir.” Theodosia replied, trying not to crumble the letter as she slipped it into her school robes. 

“And once that’s finished?” He continued, “What do you intend to do?” 

Her gaze flickered down to her feet and she watched her shoes as she shifted on them. She was never a girl of much courage, her humility out-weighing her confidence, and that was clear in these gestures of uncertainty whenever she felt put on the spot. She had done it since she was a young girl, and would likely do so until she finally became a little more sure of herself. 

Maybe her modesty was what he had liked about her, truthfully. Theodosia Blight had been a model student since the first time she sat in his classroom. At first he had feared that her natural talents with brewing would lead to a swollen head and eagerness to the point of idiocy in his lessons, but instead she only spoke when called on and never let her ego get too inflated. She had taken his criticism in stride and instead of complaining about the harshness of it, she sought to do better. She was one of very few students he tolerated; had he been a softer man, he would have admitted that she held most of his favor. 

It would be a loss once she graduated. Her presence in the classroom had been refreshing, to put it simply. Most students fumbled over viles and ingredients, but Theodosia listened and performed with precision and grace of a natural. She didn’t run her mouth, didn’t brag her talents, instead she was content to simply absorb his lessons and perform to the best of her abilities. Students like her were rare; she was a credit to the Ravenclaw house. 

“Well, sir, that’s part of the reason why I’ve come down here,” Theodosia started, her eyes flickering up to him for just a moment, “If you’ll allow it, I’d like to come back here...under your guidance.” 

“Excuse me?” 

“I-I’ve always enjoyed being in your class and found you to be the most helpful professor I’ve had in all my years here. You’re a very skilled potioneer and a wonderful teacher and I-” Her freckled cheeks were burning red, but she went on, “I-If I may be so bold, sir, I think you’d benefit greatly by having me as your assistant.” 

“That is bold.” He replied, visibly stunned by her words as he stared at her with dark eyes, “All your talents and you desire to come back  _ here _ to be an  _ assistant _ .” 

“I’m at my happiest when I’m in this classroom, sir.” Theodosia admitted, and for the first time in seven years, she didn’t shrink under his gaze, “If you’ll allow it, I’d like to come back to you one day.” 

Severus would never show it or speak the words aloud, but he could not deny that the notion had charmed him in some small way. Teaching had never been his passion and he had never felt that compelling desire to better his students that most professors possessed. But there was something to be said about knowing he had done right by her, that a student enjoyed his guidance enough to want to seek it out even years later. Perhaps he was more flattered than all else, something he very rarely ever felt, but Severus did not find it in himself to blatantly deny her such a complimentary request. 

“I doubt that you’ll go out and see the rest of the world and still want to come back here. I will not be displeased if you never fulfill your current desire.” Severus spoke plainly and Theodosia dipped her head with an embarrassed frown on her lips. 

She had figured he would say as much; shoo her away as he so often did to others. She hadn’t for a moment taken his favor to mean she would be an exception to his harshness, but she couldn’t deny the disappointment that his words- 

“ _ However. _ ” He said, and her eyes quickly snapped to him again, “Should you still find yourself longing to return here and live out your career as a mere assistant, despite your talents and potential...I will not turn you away. On the slight chance you do come back, I will make use of you as you so wish.”

It was silly of her to feel tears well in her eyes, she knew that, but Theodosia couldn’t help it. She let out a small laugh, breathless and happy, and her amber eyes had lit up with that look they only ever had for potions and brews. 

“Thank you, Professor Snape,” She breathed, a smile on her lips. 

Severus only nodded, the sight of her glassy gaze obviously making him uncomfortable, so Theodosia made quick work of wiping at her eyes to rub them away. Once she regained her composure, she offered him a very rare smile, one that was rather sure of herself. 

“Make haste, Miss. Blight. Your graduation ceremony starts within the hour.” 

She sent a quick look to the door, hearing the clicking of heels of the students who passed the potions room, likely on their way to where their families and peers had begun to gather. She would have to join them soon, she knew that, no matter how much she wanted to lose herself again amongst these ingredients and their glass cages. 

“Theodosia,” 

Hearing her first name in his rumbling tones startled her; it was the first time he had said it in all her years of attendance. She looked back at him to find his hand extended to her, patiently waiting for her to take it in an exceedingly rare display of respect from Severus Snape. Theodosia hesitated only a moment before stepping forward, slipping her hand into his and holding it loosely as he gave it a single firm shake. 

“I wish you luck.” 

Despite the color to her cheeks and the nervousness of her eyes, Theodosia couldn’t help but smile. 

He didn’t expect to see her again once the ceremony ended and she left the castle for the very last time with her family. Severus only allowed himself a moment to linger on her, on her odd request to return to the place even he dreaded, but she was gone from his mind as the summer rolled around and for the years following. 

Sometimes he thought of her, when there was an exceptionally horrible student and he tried to remember the better ones that had entered his room in the past. Perhaps she had set too high of a standard for the students following her, because Severus found every one of them falling horribly short of her talents. No one had shown the same natural gifts for brewing, or the admiration for the craft, and Theodosia remained the image of a model student in his mind. Outside of the classroom, however, she never graced his thoughts again. 

Nearly seven years had passed, and Severus Snape had all but forgotten the brilliant girl and her odd request, until he was summoned to Dumbledore’s office the day before the start of the new year. He figured it was to give more discussion to the boy who would be attending Hogwarts for his first year, the son of the women he loved and the man he still despised. They had already talked about Harry Potter more times than he cared for, so Severus had prepared himself for another long discussion that would leave him winded and with a bitter taste in his mouth. 

“Lemon Drop.” He spoke before the door, and the stone shifted to let him pass though. 

The further up the stairs he traveled, the louder the voices became. They were calm, pleasant, belonging one to Dumbledore and the other to a female he didn’t recognize. Severus wasn’t entirely sure what he expected, maybe an angry parent before term even started or a Ministry member sticking their nose in where it didn’t belong, but he certainly hadn’t considered the sight before him. 

The moment he entered the room, Theodosia Blight stood quickly from her chair and faced him, amber eyes bright with a shine that hadn’t been in them during her younger years. 

Life had been very kind to her. Her caramel skin was still littered with freckles (more so now than ever) and her plump frame had curved out in more feminine ways then when she was a child. She carried herself a little differently as well, her posture still shy but her head held a little higher by default than it used to. The coils of her honey-colored hair that used to fall down her back had been cut short to her shoulders, framing her round face in prettily highlighted curls. She hardly looked the nervous young child who had sat in his classroom over a decade ago. 

“Professor,” She breathed, like the word felt fragile on her full lips after so many years. 

“Miss. Blight,” He replied quietly with a slight nod, a little too surprised at the sight of her to turn his eyes away just yet. 

“Severus,” Dumbledore called, and only then did he turn his attention away from his former student. 

There was that look in the old man’s eyes, that twinkle that promised both mischief and wonder. 

“I believe you have need of an assistant, do you not?” 


	2. Welcome

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The year begins, and Theodosia feels more welcomed than she expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt it necessary to address something before I continue updating this work. 
> 
> By no means do I support JK Rowling or any of the horrible things she has said and done against the trans community. While I am a fan of her work, I in now way agree with her beliefs or anything she says. It's a pity that such an influential individual known for creating such an iconic story goes out of her way to invalidate and insult a whole group of people. For those who are transgender or anyone else effected by her words, please know that I stand behind you.

“At my side, Miss. Blight.” 

She turned her attention away from the nostalgia of being in the great hall again and to him as he gestured for her to take the seat beside him at the high table. Never in all her years attenting this school had she thought of sitting here; though she had always wanted to come back in some way or another, Theodosia hadn’t thought she’d ever sit amongst the notable staff of Hogwarts. 

“Are you sure?” She asked, watching him as he took a seat, “I didn’t think-” 

“I won’t have you sitting amongst the children.” He said, turning his eyes away from her and to the students that had began to funnel into the great hall, “Carry yourself with more pride.” 

“Yes sir,” Theodosia nodded quickly before taking her seat beside him, a small smile on her lips despite his scolding. 

She watched as the children came in one by one, nearly on the edge of her seat as she tried to catch a glimpse of each and every new face that came through the doors. Though she would not be teaching, Theodosia couldn’t help but feel as though she would still play a role in these children’s lives, however small that role may be. True, her duties were to the Potions master and not the students before her, but she still wanted to be as positive as a presence as she could. 

“Your enthusiasm is embarrassing,” Snape commented beside her, the decently pleasant mood their reunion from the previous day brought now fading to his familiar distaste, “Sit back.” 

Theodosia frowned, turning to look at the gloomy man that sat beside her. 

“Are you not excited for the new year, professor?” She asked, but sat back as told. 

“I have good reason to believe that this year in specific will be especially horrible,” He replied, his dark eyes focused on one specific child in the crowd. 

“Not because of me, I hope?” Theodosia questioned, and the words drew his sharp gaze to her. 

“Don’t be foolish, Ms. Blight.” 

He didn’t say anything further, but the words made her smile all the same. Theodosia sat back a little more in her chair, turning to the Headmaster who now demanded the eyes of the rest of the room. She let herself focus more on the sorting ceremony than the sullen man beside her, especially as his attention was partially taken by the stuttering professor on his other side. The young woman was more than happy to sit quietly and enjoy the nostalgia of this grand event, until one name called amongst the others caught her attention. She turned a quick eye to Severus, who also watched the boy with barely contained disdain. 

“Harry Potter?” Theodosia repeated quietly, and Severus ignored Quirrell for a moment to reluctantly reply to his assistant. 

“Unfortunately.” 

Nothing else was said on the matter, safe for the small huff that came from the Potions master when the hat proudly bellowed out ‘Gryffindor!’. She could tell from the deepened knot in his brow that the boy struck some kind of nerve in him, but it was not the right place nor the right time to press on. 

Once the last of the children were sorted through, each sitting at their respective tables with barely contained excitement, the feast was nearly ready to begin. Theodosia was fully prepared to eat, having not had a bite all day due to the sheer excitement of this grand ceremony. What she was not prepared for, however, was when Dumbledore quieted the room and spoke out when all had fallen silent. 

“Before we begin the feast, an introduction is in order.” He called out to the hall, before turning his kind eyes and setting them on her. 

His gaze, as well as what felt like hundreds of others, landed on her and the attention instantly made the young woman tense. Theodosia stayed seated, wide-eyed and a little surprised that her presence has garnered an introduction at all. 

“Stand.” Severus spoke beneath his breath, and Theodosia felt color come to her cheeks as she realized how long the hall had sat in silence for her. 

“B-But-” 

“ _ Now. _ ” 

She did as told, standing a little too quickly from her seat at the table, a flurry of pretty sapphire and silver robes, so that she could be better seen by the children that sat gathered before them. Dumbledore offered her a kind smile, one she remembered from her youth, and the sight of it calmed her if only a little. 

“I am pleased to welcome Theodosia Blight, who will be assisting our Potions master, Severus Snape, for the first of what we hope to be many years. Welcome back to Hogwarts, and good luck!” 

Theodosia looked out over the children who smiled and clapped, and then to the staff that offered her the same kindness, and finally felt as though she had come back home after so many years.

For those who looked close enough, they could see the pride in Severus Snape’s eyes as he clapped as well. 


	3. Adjusting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Theodosia expects too much too soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've written pretty far ahead in this story- I'm nearly halfway through year three. This being said, though, I do want to say that the structure of this story is going to be very loose. Each year only gets maybe 3-4 chapters to it and they're spaced out instances through the year. They won't be very long chapters, either. But since I have written so far ahead, I will be updating this at least once a week (probably twice, honestly).

“I know it’s not my place to say it, but-” 

“Then don’t say it.” He cut her off, his focus remaining on the parchment on which he wrote. 

The last of the young Gryffindors had scurried out of the room just moments ago, leaving the Potions master and his assistant on their own. She made quick work of cleaning up the ruined potions as she had nearly every day since the start of the term; it was a simple routine they had easily fallen into. 

Theodosia frowned, halting in her collecting of the unused ingredients from the class that had just been dismissed. She bit at her bottom lip, bouncing on her heels a bit as she tried to busy herself with the task at hand, but soon her continuous movement had the Potions master on his last nerve. With a heavy sigh and a pinch to the bridge of his crooked nose, Severus set his quill aside and finally looked at his nearly bursting assistant. 

“Out with it, and quickly.” 

“Why are you so unkind to Harry Potter?” She asked, her words coming out in a burst, “I remember you being unfriendly, that was expected, but you’re especially rude to that young boy.” 

Severus nearly glared, and had she been the exact same girl from all those years ago, she may have shrunk away at the harshness of it. Instead, she held his gaze and waited for the response that her curiosity had no entitlement to. 

He had noticed since she had begun her employment here that Theodosia was a braver woman than he had been expecting. As a child she dipped her head low at his harsh words, or sometimes looked on the verge of tears when making mistakes, but the woman before him did no such thing. She seemed unphased by his cruelty, taking it in stride as though the words were no colder than any others. 

It grated on his nerves endlessly: the ease at which she accepted his  cynicism. 

“And I remember you being tolerable, at most.” He replied coldly, but she only huffed in response, “Your constant badgering is wearing my patience thin, Miss. Blight.” 

“The boy was nearly in tears, professor,” Theodosia replied, as though to defend her inquiry, “You embarrassed him in front of his whole class-” 

“And I will likely continue to do so,” Severus cut her off, standing from his seat, “I suggest keeping your opinions to yourself, or you may soon find yourself unemployed.” 

“But-!” 

“ _ Enough! _ ” He finally snapped, and only then did Theodosia finally shrink away at his words, “You’re dismissed, Miss. Blight.” 

Instead of her eyes welling with tears, the woman huffed and set the ingredients down on the desk with a louder thud than necessary. Her actions resembled both a spoiled child and a spited adult, and she had every mind to stay rooted in her spot and pry further into things she had no business knowing. However, she did have a good head on her shoulders, so she turned quickly on her heel and stalked right out of the Potions room without another word. 

They did not speak at all during dinner that night, or breakfast the next morning, or even during classes. Students noticed the additional chill in the dungeons, especially as Theodosia’s knife chopped a little too harshly at her collection of ginger and Severus seemed to have more bite to his words than usual. It was rather unpleasant that whole day, and the one following, until her temper had finally begun to simmer down and she was able to push her anger aside for the sake of clarity.

Perhaps she didn’t  _ need  _ to know why he disliked Harry Potter, or anything else about Severus Snape, but she couldn’t help her natural curiosity. If all went well, she was going to spend a very long time in this classroom with him, so maybe she felt a little obligated to know more about him than she did now. People didn’t just spend years in each other’s company without knowing at least a few important things. Maybe she was just pushing too hard too soon; the realization that this could very well be the case made Theodosia reluctantly decide to apologize for her pestering a full three days after their argument. 

It was nearly midnight and they were patrolling the dark halls for the first time that semester, the light from his wand illuminating the way for them. Nearly an hour had passed without a word, mostly because every time she tried to speak, he would turn a sharp eye her way and silence her once again. Finally though, when the last of her nerves (and maybe sense) had fizzled out, Theodosia spoke up. 

“I’m sorry for being nosey,” She finally said, but he didn’t spare her a glance, “I’m just glad to be around you again, Professor.” 

“You should be smart enough to know that flattery won’t get you anywhere with me.” Severus replied sharply, his narrowed eyes focused on the vast hall ahead of them. 

“It isn’t flattery, sir.” Theodosia defended her words, “I’ve looked forward to working with you since the moment I graduated, and now that I finally am, my excitement is dampening my manners. I’ll do a better job of remembering myself in the future.” 

He was silent for a moment, the only sound in the dark hallway being their steps, and Theodosia thought he wouldn’t even dignify her words with a response. Truthfully, she was surprised she had even been allowed to say this much, so she worked to content herself with what little she had gotten out of him, until he spoke again. 

“See to it that you do.” 

Despite his tone, it felt as though he had accepted her apology in his own gloomy way. For that, Theodosia was grateful. They walked on in the illuminated halls, and she felt her confidence come back to her as she tested the waters between them once more. 

“If you do, however, ever feel the need to confide in me, I’d be more than happy to listen.” She offered, “I’m a very good listener, you know.” 

“I don’t know,” Severus replied dully, but the harshness of his eyes had softened only slightly, “And I don’t intend to.”

“You say that now,” Theodosia mused, a little smile forming on her full lips, “But you may just need someone to talk to one of these days.” 

“You’d be my last choice in confidants, Miss. Blight.” 

“Who’s your first?”

“Anyone else.” 

They carried on decently for the rest of the night, feeling for the first time since she arrived that they were not just two people existing alongside each other, but existing with each other. 


	4. Wounds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus gets hurt and won’t tell Theodosia how.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads up- the events that take place will be from a mix of the books and the movies.

“Take a seat, quickly.” 

“I’m not on the verge of death, Miss. Blight,” Severus remarked, though he did hiss as she helped him sit down in the cushioned chair that sat in front of the fireplace inside his office. 

“You may be soon if you don’t let me help,” Theodosia replied, her shyness fizzling out when the two of them were alone, then hurried to the additional desk that sat opposite to his. 

The room had been enchanted at the start of the term to expand enough to allow another desk to comfortably fit inside. This was where the assistant did most of her work, anywhere from grading papers to preparing ingredients for their personal stores. She had even taken the liberty of decorating it with various things that she could look at fondly from time to time, such as a picture with her parents during a trip to France or an ever-rotating globe of the moon that made her blush when asked where she had gotten it from. It was her cozy little corner, perhaps her favorite spot in the world beaten only by the Potions classroom itself. 

She made quick work of shuffling through the bottom drawer of her desk, her amber eyes staying focused on the Potions master who sulked in his chair as he slowly pulled back the leg of his pants, before her fingers finally grazed the bottle she was looking for. Theodosia took it quickly and made her way back to him, where she handed over the small bit of  Wiggenweld Potion. 

“You keep this in your desk?” He grunted, but did not protest it as he uncorked the bottle and dripped a few drops of the green potion onto his tongue. 

“Never know when it’ll come in handy,” Theodosia replied with a small smile, “In this case, it did.” 

Severus handed the bottle back to her and she returned it to its place in her desk as he remained by the fire and waited for the potion’s healing properties to kick in. 

“Tea?” 

“Please.” 

The enchanted set they kept in the office got to work, and Theodosia made her way back to the fireplace so that she could kneel before him. She didn’t touch the injury, as much as she may have wanted to, and Severus watched her with dark eyes as she observed the deep wounds in his leg. 

“Are you going to tell me how you got this?” She asked, her words accusing though no real animosity was in her tone. When he did not reply, she spoke again, “If we’re going to be working together for the foreseeable future, you’re going to have to talk to me eventually.” 

“Once again you are misunderstanding the relationship between us,” He replied coldly, “I am not obligated to tell you anything more than the duties assigned to your job and how I expect them to be done. Anything outside of that is none of your concern.” 

Maybe in her youth she would have recoiled at his harsh words, but now she only huffed and turned a sharp eye up to meet his, nearly challenging the way he sneered down at her. He regretted having scolded her before for not keeping her head high, because nowadays it never seemed to lower even when he tried to knock her down. 

“Always so callous, professor,” Theodosia tisked, before turning her eyes back down to the skin that now began to mend itself, “One of these days you may actually come to like me, you know. I daresay we may just become friends.” 

“There will be a cold day in hell before I befriend you, Miss. Blight.” 

The kettle whistled once the tea came to a boil, and soon the whole set came flying over to serve them. She stood from her kneel, brushing off her costume as she did so, and was content to simply lean against the mantel and drink her tea until Severus pulled his wand from his robes and beckoned a book forth from his desk. With a simple swish of his wand the book became a chair, a little more feminie than the one he sat in and obviously more tuned to her tastes, with a cushioned fabric of navy velvet and silver stars. 

She hummed against the rim of her teacup, amusement clear in her amber eyes as he tucked his wand away and paid her look little mind. 

“Wipe that smirk off your lips,” He remarked, taking his own cup into his hands, “It’s unbecoming.” 

The words made Theodosia giggle, soft and sweet, and he stared as she made her way to sit in the chair beside him. It was both lovely and comfortable, and she liked it instantly. 

“A shame that we didn’t get to finish the feast,” She sighed, admiring the way the flames danced in the fireplace, “I’ve always liked Hogwarts’ Halloween celebration the best.” 

“There will be more Halloweens to celebrate,” Severus replied after taking a sip of his tea, the wound on his leg still mending itself, “Though I do implore you to forgo the ridiculous costumes in the coming years.” 

“You don’t like my costume?” Theodosia frowned, peering over at him as he met her eyes with a disapproving gaze. 

“What on earth gave you the impression that I did?” 

Theodosia had dressed up for Halloween just as she did every single year, staying more true to the muggle traditions of her parents. The robes she wore were brightly striped in yellow and black, and a little pair of wings that were fastened to the back had been enchanted to flutter every few moments. Her hair had been pulled back into two puffy buns and a little pair of antennae with fuzzy yellow balls at the ends sat atop her head, bouncing happily with each movement. She had gotten quite a few compliments from students and staff alike, the only real criticism coming from the more pureblooded members of Slytherin house and the Potions master himself. 

“But my wings flitter all on their own!” She stated as she leaned forward in her seat, the dainty pair of them moving excitedly as she did so. 

“Not a single student brewed a potion even halfway decent today, and I blame your  _ flittering wings _ for that. It’s entirely too distracting, not to mention unprofessional.” 

“Students never brew decent potions by your standards, Halloween or not,” She pouted, settling back in her chair as she held her teacup in both hands. 

“I seem to recall a student who thrived despite my high expectations.” Severus replied, taking a sip of his tea as he watched the fire. 

“Whatever became of this student, I wonder?” Theodosia played along, a smile tugging at her lips as she watched how the flames danced in his dark eyes. 

“She wasn’t satisfied to simply brew in silence, and perished because of it.” 

She hummed, nearly giggling at the grave tone of his words. 

“Was it worth it?” Theodosia asked with an expectant smile, “Her pestering?” 

He looked to her, how she sat comfortably in her cushioned seat of stars, and thought for a moment how alive the fire made her amber eyes look. He did not reply to her, instead turned his attention back to the fire, and Theodosia did not push him further.

They sat there long after his leg had healed, content to enjoy the pretty fire, warm tea, and agreeable company. 


	5. Quidditch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theodosia and Severus attend a match, and she isn't quite sure where her loyalties lie.

“I’ve always rather liked Quidditch, haven’t you, sir?” 

“Not particularly.”

It was a colder day than the matches previous, with the chill of winter rolling in on each breeze. There was always a certain air about Quidditch that had Theodosia feeling her most patriotic. She had never really been one for house pride- not that she wasn’t proud to be a Ravenclaw, but her house was one of the lesser valued ones at Hogwarts and so there felt little need to boast it’s greatness when so often compared to the bias towards Gryffindor and Slytherin. In her years of attendance they had only won the house cup twice, Hufflepuff once, and the rest being a pinball between the lions and snakes. But in these times where the Quidditch field was packed to the brim with students, each with a painted face or colored article supporting their house, Theodosia felt her most supportive. 

There was, however, a dilemma she was now faced with that didn’t exist in her youth. Of course the Sorting Hat had made the right choice when placing her in Ravenclaw and she had very much enjoyed being a part of the house, but her current status begged the question of where her loyalties lay. On one hand she wanted to support the house she so adored, but on the other she had formed quite the soft spot for Slytherin since coming to work under Severus Snape’s wing. She was no Head, but students of the house did feel more inclined to come to her with questions or basic conversation than they did other staff members. Maybe it was her close affiliation with the Potions master, or that she too resided in the dungeons, but Theodosia wasn’t entirely sure anymore if her blood was blue or green. 

“One usually picks a team, Miss. Blight.” Severus commented as they took their seats in the staff section, eyeing the short woman beside him as she pulled a knitted green hat over her honey colored curls. 

“I couldn’t pick just one!” She replied, offering him a smile as she adjusted the blue and silver striped scarf around her neck, “I like them both equally!” 

“You’ve no obligations to the Slytherin house,” He stated, turning his attention from her and to the field. 

“Don’t I?” Theodosia replied pleasantly, “I live in the dungeons, I spend a majority of my time with the Head of said house, and I look wonderful in green.” 

Severus rolled his eyes but did not comment further, and Theodosia took that as a victory. They sat side by side in the stand as the match began, and the woman cheered as loudly for the Ravenclaw team as she did for the Slytherin. Only a few of the staff around them paid her mind, but their curious glances were quickly discouraged anytime the Potions master turned a sharp eye their way.

“Miss. Blight, some decency.” Severus commented bitterly, annoyance clear in his words and on his face after the woman jumped from her seat in triumph when Ravenclaw scored an especially impressive goal. 

“I’m sorry, sir!” She laughed, though there was no real apology as she took her seat beside him again, “I can’t help it!” 

“You can, and you will.” He scolded, but she only offered him a lopsided smile in return before her attention was turned back to the players that zipped by. 

It went on like that for a majority of the game, her excitedly watching the zipping balls and thrilling chases, and he struggled to stay interested. Though he knew how to play and had attended every house match in his youth, Severus’ interest in Quidditch never extended very far. He had an obligation as Head of Slytherin house to attend all of their matches but if he had his way, he would never sit through another game again.

“If you jump up one more time I will not hesitate to hex you to your seat and leave you long after the game has ended.” He hissed under his breath after having to pull her back down for the fifth time since the start of the match. 

“But sir, If I can’t move I won’t be able to put out the next fire.” Theodosia teased, pulling her arm from his grasp and settling back into her seat. 

“More of your tasteless humor, I see.” Severus replied disapprovingly, drawing his hands back to himself. 

“I thought it was funny,” She grinned in return, but he did not dignify it with a response or even a sideways glance. 

Mercifully, Theodosia decided she had tested enough of his patience and turned a majority of her attention back to the game before them. She made a conscious effort to keep her bottom firmly in her seat, only pumping her fists or hollering out with the rest of the crowd when either team scored a point. Though the disdain was clear on his face, Severus had learned rather quickly that once riled up, Theodosia could not be restrained completely. It grated on his nerves to no end but he knew there was no point in trying to talk her down from her excitement, so he sat with barely contained frustration. When the Ravenclaw seeker finally caught the snitch after nearly an hour of her constant cheering, Severus believed for a moment there was a God and that he was merciful. 

“What a wonderful game!” Theodosia beamed as they walked back to the castle, the pair having left the game the moment the snitch was caught so to avoid being crowded by the entire student body on the path back, “Did you enjoy it, professor?” 

“Hardly,” He glowered, dark eyes set narrowed on the path before them, “Your cheering must be one of the most unpleasant sounds I have ever had the displeasure of hearing.” 

If she was anymore childish, Theodosia would have stuck her tongue out at him. But she was a grown woman with a professional respect for the sullen man, so she did no such thing. 

“I’ll try to contain my excitement, but I make no promises,” She mused, “Next weekend’s game is going to be just as fun, I’m sure of it!” 

“Slytherin does not play next weekend.” Severus replied, turning a sharp eye to her. 

“No, but Ravenclaw does,” Theodosia beamed up at him, “You’ll come with me, won’t you?” 

He scoffed at the notion, once again finding her disregard for the separation between their work and personal lives rather distasteful. 

“Another attempt at humor, Miss. Blight?” 

She huffed, nuzzling her chin down a little into her striped scarf as she very nearly pouted. Perhaps it had been silly to think that he would go out of his way to come to her house matches, but once again her desire to befriend him had blurred her view of reality. Still, she didn’t let herself get too discouraged. This was Severus Snape, afterall, she couldn’t expect too much from him. 

Maybe one day, he’ll open up just a little.


	6. Farewell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first year draws to a close and they reach an understanding of sorts.

“You’re more than welcome to visit me whenever you’d like, professor,” Theodosia offered with her usually chipper smile, holding tightly to her suitcase as they stood before the fireplace in the office. 

After an alarmingly eventful school year, the second term had come to a close and it was time for the Hogwarts staff to take their own leave for the summer. Though she had been rather peeved by the House Cup results, she tried very hard not to let it get the better of her as she bid the students farewell and enjoyed the last few days of being in the dungeons. 

The year had a few bumps, as all years always would, but Theodosia was all around rather pleased with her first year of employment under the Potions master. True, Severus remained the cold and cynical man she had always known him to be, but her skin was thicker than when she was a child and having previous knowledge of his attitude helped her better adjust to working beside him. They were not friends by any means, but they had grown familiar with each other’s company over the year. She had made her attempts to get closer and though she had yet to succeed, she was optimistic about what the next semester would hold. 

For now, however, the sweet embrace of summer beckoned them home. After the students had gone back the way they came and the last of their busy work had been finished, Theodosia and Severus collected their things and stood before the fireplace in their office with floo powder at the ready. 

“Don’t hold your breath.” Severus replied, his own trunk sitting at his feet, “I will see you at the start of the next term and not a moment sooner.” 

She had expected this response so she was not terribly hurt by it, but that didn’t stop her from feeling just the slightest bit disappointed. Theodosia had been a little more downcast today than she usually was, likely because of their upcoming departure, but she tried to look at it in a better light. This year had to end in order for the next to begin; she would be back in no time. 

Severus took the small dish of floo powder and offered it to her, but she didn’t immediately reach out to take a handful. 

“I know you don’t care for sentimentality, but I wanted to thank you once again for everything.” Theodosia said with a smile as Severus simply stared, “I was worried that you would turn me away when I came back, but I’m very glad you didn’t.” 

“I told you I wouldn’t, did I not?” He stated, allowing her this moment of gratitude. 

“You did, but you could have easily changed your mind.” Theodosia replied, “I had a wonderful first year, professor. I look forward to the next!” 

For just a moment his gaze wasn’t nearly as stern, the look on his face more akin to civility than his usual hostility. Once again he had that strange feeling he had only ever felt once before, as though her sincere words were charming in some way. He knew he was cold and would make no effort to change that, but she had enjoyed her employment thus far nonetheless. She had been helpful with keeping their storage well stocked with potions and ingredients, as well as grading assignments and carrying out any other task she was given. 

“You did well,” Severus said in a rare instance of respect, “I will see you next year.” 

She offered him a smile that put light in her eyes and color into her freckled cheeks, and Severus could not help but stare for just a moment longer at the sight of it. Theodosia grasped the handle of her trunk in hand before she took a handful of the floo powder that was still extended to her, and turned to the fireplace. It expanded for her to step inside, and once she was situated comfortably, she offered Severus that same beautiful smile. 

“Goodbye, professor!” 

“Goodbye, Theodosia.” 

The smile did not leave her lips as she spoke for the floo. 

“Blackberry Grove!” 

She was gone in a puff of dust and a burst of green flames, leaving Severus to himself in the large office. He set the dish back on the mantelpiece after taking a handful for himself, and turned to look around the expanded space. The moon on her desk still spun, her happy family of three beaming in front of the  Palace of Versailles, and for a moment Severus allowed himself to admit that he had not minded her presence nearly as much as he may have thought. 


	7. Charity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At the start of her second year Theodosia finally makes a friend.

“A little late, aren’t we?” 

“If you wish to keep your job, you won’t say another word.” 

Severus sat beside her at the High Table with barely contained anger, his usually cold demeanor especially chilly as he all but sulked in his chair. Despite how excited she had been to see him again after a long summer away from the castle, even her optimism couldn’t stand a chance to this especially sullen mood. So Theodosia reluctantly zipped her lips, her high spirits dampening from already having to step on glass, and took a rather pouty sip of her pumpkin juice. 

Since he was obviously in no mood for her usual chipper chatter, or even mere decency, Theodosia was forced to find her amusement elsewhere and so her attention was brought to the woman on her other side that she had never seen before. 

The woman introduced herself as Charity Burbage, and informed Theodosia that she would be taking over as the professor for Muggle Studies; Theodosia liked her instantly. The two of them chatted pleasantly through the dinner, discussing their hopes for the upcoming year and gossiping as women always do. A few times she had expected Severus to speak up and silence her, but he was too busy sulking about whatever had upset him to pay her much mind at all. It was only after the sorting ceremony and before the feast began, when Dumbledore announced the new Defense Against Dark Arts professor, that he spoke again. 

“ _ The  _ Gilderoy Lockhart?” Theodosia asked aloud, her curiosity peaked as the golden boy stood up from his chair on the other side of the table and waved with a pearly smile.

“If you swoon, Miss. Blight, I’m sending you right home.” 

She looked over at Severus, whose dark eyes were narrowed in distaste as he watched the handsome man enjoy the applause, and tried again to talk to him. 

“I’m more surprised than impressed, sir.” Theodosia offered, but the only reply she received was a grunt. 

“He’s more handsome in person, isn’t he?” Charity said beside her, and Theodosia turned her eyes from the Potions master to the flamboyant man who only now took his seat. 

“I suppose,” The woman shrugged, “He’s not exactly my cup of tea.” 

“Oh really?” Charity mused beside her as the feast began, “What do you fancy, then?” 

“Just about anything else,” Theodosia joked, and the woman snickered in return, “I’ve never really liked golden boys.” 

“So you prefer brooding old men?” The professor beside her teased; the implication of her words and quick glance to the assistant’s other side nearly set Theodosia’s cheeks on fire. 

“You’re setting a poor example for the new professor, Miss. Blight.” Severus scolded beside her, interjecting himself into their conversation, and Theodosia nearly jumped from her seat, “We don’t want her picking up your habit of running your mouth, do we?” 

She felt very much like a child who had just been caught talking in the middle of class; rather embarrassed to be scolded in front of her peers. Had it just been the two of them she probably wouldn’t have felt so disheartened, but Chariy still had her eyes on the pair and so Theodosia slipped right back into her older habit of shrinking away at his harshness. It seemed for every moment she got to enjoy the start of her second year, Severus would come right in and knock her down another peg.

“Unfortunately, I’ve learned that habit all on my own, professor Snape.” Charity said beside her, giving Theodosia a reassuring little smile, “Miss. Blight has been rather welcoming.”

Theodosia couldn’t help the bashful little smile that came to her lips as she glanced up at the woman, who sent a kind wink her way as Severus merely glared at the pair of them before turning his attention to the feast again. 

Severus wouldn’t soften just yet, so it was nice to believe that she would have some fun this year with Charity around. They talked the rest of the feast through, and as the embarrassment began to dwindle away with each laugh, Theodosia was happy to say she had at least one friend sitting beside her that night. 


	8. Respect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hogwarts isn’t safe for muggle-born Theodosia, and Snape does what he can.

He made sure no one was in the hallways, not around any corners or any doors, before quickly stepping back into their office where Theodosia stood impatiently. Severus locked the door behind him and placed a silencing charm over it, then turned his attention to the rather confused looking woman who stood in the center of the room. 

“Professor, what-?” 

“You saw, did you not?” Severus interrupted her and Theodosia gave an uncomfortable little frown. 

“I did,” She nodded slowly, and the Potions master stepped further into the office. 

“Then you should be aware of the current danger you are in, being a muggle born witch.” He continued on, and the frown never left the woman’s full lips. 

“You think it’s something other than a prank, sir?” She asked, her head tilted a little as she watched him pace the room. 

“Pranks are not usually written in blood, Miss. Blight.” Severus replied shortly, and she nearly shivered at the memory of it. 

Maybe for a moment she had been scared, seeing the threatening words written on the wall and the petrified cat hanging from the torch bracket, but after the initial fear had subsided Theodosia had considered that maybe it wasn’t a real threat. It was Halloween, afterall, and what better prank to pull on this day than such a scary one? 

“I’m sure I will be fine,” Theodosia tried to reassure him, but it did not ease his troubled mind, “Besides, are you not half-blooded?” 

“I am,” He confirmed gloomily, “But I am also a Slytherin, and so it is safe to assume that I am not the enemy which they mention.” 

“I don’t believe I’m anybody’s enemy,” She said, seeing that her words did little for him, “I can defend myself, you know. I scored perfectly well in Defense Against Dark Arts in my years.” 

He stopped for a moment, the intense gaze of his dark eyes turning to her, and Theodosia’s frown deepened at the sight of it. Had he been a kinder man, she would have stepped forward and placed a hand on his arm to reassure him that all was well. But this was not a kind man and she doubted he would even let her get close enough. 

“Let’s sit for a moment, shall we?” She offered, bringing the tea set to life with a flick of her wand, “It’s been an eventful night.” 

Severus didn’t say anything in return but he did stalk over to his chair by the fireplace and take a heavy seat, his chin almost instantly perching in his hand as he stared at the flames with furrowed brows. Theodosia waited a moment before taking a seat beside him, trying to uphold her duties as the optimistic half of the pair of them, but finding it hard to do so with the way he scowled. 

They sat in silence for a while, Severus watching the flames with a glared gaze and Theodosia sitting patiently for him to speak again. They sippied at their tea, she more than he, and before very long he spoke again. 

“You are not to be anywhere on your own, am I understood?” 

“Excuse me?” She questioned, the confusion clear in her eyes. 

“The castle is not safe for you at this time,” He repeated, sounding more exhausted than he did hostile, as though his thoughts had worn him down, “The only places you may be alone are here and your chambers, but nowhere else.”

“With all due respect, sir, I am not a student anymore. I shouldn’t have to-” 

“Do  _ not  _ argue with me, Miss. Blight.” Severus snapped, his patience finally wearing too thin, “If I tell you to do something, I expect you to do it  _ without complaint.  _ Do I make myself clear?”

Theodosia didn’t have too horrible of a temper, but she could not help the anger that boiled inside of her at his insistence. She was no child, she was a grown woman capable of protecting herself from whatever  _ may _ lurk in the night. Though she understood his fear- which was probably more directed at losing his assistant rather than losing her as a person- she didn’t believe it to be nearly as large of a threat as he feared. Even if it was, she was perfectly capable of handling it on her own. 

“When are you going to stop treating me like an annoying child? I am not your daughter,  _ sir _ , I’m your peer.” She scoffed, a bite to her words. 

Severus turned a sharp eye to her, his own temper flaring as she pushed at him once again. Moments like these made him wish for the nervous, fumbling girl that hardly spoke above a shaky whisper. 

“Just look at yourself, Miss. Blight. How do you expect  _ anyone  _ to respect you, much less take you seriously?” 

She could not help the color that burned her freckled cheeks. Perhaps today of all days was not the best time to defend her maturity; it was Halloween, afterall, and Theodosia had not paid any mind to last year’s warning. Her usual sapphire and silver robes had been replaced with a pretty set of creme ones, and the fuzzy bunny ears atop her head twitched and flopped every few moments. Of course there was a fluffy tail pinned to the back of her as well, and maybe her nose bore a little more rouge than usual; perhaps her point wasn’t very well made. 

Theodosia stood from her seat abruptly, setting the teacup back on the saucer with a little too much force as she tried her very best not to let the Potions master see the effect of his words. 

“I don’t want  _ everyone’s _ respect, professor. I just want yours.” 

Severus watched her stalk out of the room, allowing her to go despite the whole cause of the argument to begin with. Perhaps it was the slightest glimpse he had caught of her glassy eyes as she turned away, or his exhaustion from the night's events, but the Potions master did not feel the need to follow. 

He stayed there in his chair until the late hours of the night, brooding over the dangers that lurked in the halls and the assistant that disliked him now more than ever. He was used to people detesting him, Theodosia would be no exception. Even if it meant she no longer tried to befriend him or no longer went out of her way to please him, Severus would rather her unhappy than dead. 


	9. Pest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theodosia has an issue with a professor; Severus takes the first step.

“You’re in an especially foul mood today, Miss. Blight.” Severus commented as the pair of them moved through the halls. 

She had been noticeably less chipper since Halloween and nearly two whole months had passed without her usual pestering. The air between them had shifted to something a little colder, less like companionship and more akin to a bitter acquaintanceship. This was not helped by the fact that Severus had remained true to his word and accompanied her nearly everywhere, only reopening the wound from their argument every time she wanted to walk the halls in peace. 

He did not mind this shift in atmosphere; so long as she was alive and doing her work, little else mattered. Theodosia, on the other hand, dreaded it but her pride would not allow her to remedy a situation where she did not feel she was at fault. If Severus wanted her friendship and all the cheerfulness that came with it, he would have to take that step himself. But this was Severus Snape, so she very much doubted he cared enough to do so. 

Today, however, she seemed especially gloomy. She said less than usual, chopped her ingredients a little too hard, and sometimes she would glare at nothing at all. Right now her hands were clenching and unclenching at her sides while they walked and her brow was so furrowed it could very well get stuck that way. 

“It’s nothing, sir.” 

“You nearly sliced through the cutting board this morning; it must be something.” He replied shortly, “If this issue interferes with your work then I suggest you make great effort to be rid of it, and quickly.” 

“I wish it was that easy,” Theodosia huffed bitterly, “No matter how many times I try he just  _ won’t  _ leave me alone.” 

“He?” 

The woman faltered for a moment, falling out of stride with him before having to walk a little quicker to come to his side again. 

“It’s just an admirer, sir. One who doesn’t have the word  _ no  _ in his vocabulary.” 

Severus looked down at her, at the scowl across her features, and had a very good suspicion who this admirer was given the way she sighed and huffed every step of the way to their destination. He came to a stop in the hallway and she did as well, looking up to him as he peered down at her with dark, questioning eyes. 

“Is professor Lockhart harassing you, Miss. Blight?” 

She huffed, scowling at her feet as she shifted on them. 

“It’s nothing I can’t handle-” 

“ _ Theodosia. _ ” 

The woman wanted to pout, cross her arms, and refuse to utter a word. She was still rather cross with him no matter how concerned by the situation he seemed to be. His dark eyes never left her, his brow furrowed and lip curled into a disapproving frown. Theodosia wanted him to keep his crooked nose out of her business, but the closer they got to the Great Hall where the Dueling Club waited for them, the less of her resolve remained intact. 

“He’s just very persistent,” She finally confessed, “He’s always winking from across the dinner table or putting his hand on the small of my back when he stands near me. He’ll send bloody notes to me, too- I swear if I get called his ‘caramel princess’ one more time, sir, I’m going to make his little blonde head spin.”

Despite her anger at Severus, her discomfort for Lockhart overwhelmed that feeling and so her complaints came spilling from her lips on their own accord. Charity had laughed it off, more teasing her than anything, and at first she had expected Severus to have the same disconnected response. However, to her surprise, he didn’t look amused in the slightest. She expected him to scold her, truthfully, but instead he turned away from her and began to march down the hall once again. A little startled by both his sour look and the lack of words, Theodosia could only trip over her own feet in an attempt to follow along. 

Just as she had feared, Lockhart had perked right up at the sight of her once she and the Potions master entered the room. He looked as though he was about to jump off the table to come forward and greet them, but the dangerous look in Snape’s eye must have convinced him otherwise. So he stayed where he was, trying to downplay his nervousness, as their meeting began. 

“Let me introduce my assistant, professor Snape!” 

Theodosia stayed standing behind the students as Snape joined him on the table, his sneer never leaving his face, and simply watched as Lockhart began his demonstration. Despite her discomfort, she could not help but be a little more interested in the event than she had expected herself to be. She had never seen Snape in action before, and the way he stalked across the table and raised his wand at the ready had her complete attention. 

“One, two,” Lockhart met her eye for just a moment, and the wink he gave made her shiver, “Three!” 

“Expelliarmus!” Snape cast with an especially hard flick of his wand, and Lockhart went flying right off the table and into the nearby wall. 

The students, obviously impressed and quite tickled by seeing the professor knocked right off his feet, paid little mind to the way Theodosia could not help but giggle behind her hand. She looked to Lockhart, who still struggled to get to his feet, before turning her eye to see that Severus was already staring at her. He had a look on his face that she had never seen before, both pleased with himself and yet almost as though he had wanted her approval as well. Because of this look she dared to believe that the spell had been for her sake, in a strange way. Theodosia smiled at him for the first time in months, and though he only nodded in return, he could not help but feel relief at the sight of it. 

Lockhart did not speak to them as they left after the eventful meeting as she feared he would, and when the next morning rolled around and Theodosia stepped out of her chamber to see Snape already waiting outside, she smiled at the sight of him. Together they made their way to the potions classroom, Theodosia chattering away and Severus silently listening, his scowl not nearly as harsh as it had been these last few months.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Have a safe and happy Halloween!!!!


	10. Ingredients

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hermione decides to trust Theodosia.

She drummed her fingers across the shelves as she looked for the ingredient in mind, mumbling to herself as she did so. 

“Fluxweed, fluxweed, fluxweed...Ah!” 

Theodosia took the jar in hand and just as it was firmly in her grasp, there was a noise at the door to the storeroom that drew her attention. She thought it was the Potions master, coming to scold her for the millionth time about being anywhere on her own, but instead she was met with the sight of a young bushy-haired girl peering up at her in surprise. 

“Miss. Granger!” She greeted with a smile, but the young girl looked nervous at the sight of her, “What are you doing in here?” 

“I-I must have gotten mixed up!” Hermione stammered, but it was rather clear that her words were untrue. “My apologies, Miss. Blight!” 

“Ah ah ah,” Theodosia tisked as she came down the ladder with a jar in hand, stopping the girl halfway through her escape, “A girl of your intellect doesn't just get ‘mixed up’! What is it you’re really doing in here, I wonder?” 

The woman sat on a lower step and observed the girl as she reluctantly turned back to face her. Theodosia offered her a smile, hoping that Hermione knew she wasn’t mad by any means, but it didn’t seem to ease her in the slightest. 

“I-I...” She bit at her lip, looking back into the corridor before turning to the woman who waited on the ladder. 

Miss. Blight, despite constantly being at the right hand of the gloomy Potions master, had always been rather kind. She went out of her way to help students and showed no house bias, unlike her employer. It helped that she wasn’t a Slytherin, either, or Hermione would have banished the thought of saying a single word more. Theodosia was very smart, and Hermione was not ashamed to admit that she looked up to her in the ways young girls always did to accomplished women. Though her loyalty may have been a question to the other two members of her trio, Hermione decided right there that Miss. Blight may be a very useful ally to have. 

So, quietly and quickly, Hermione explained that she was in need of the ingredients to make a Polyjuice Potion, and what said potion would be needed for. Of course she left out some details, but was clear in saying that their goal had the safety of all of Hogwarts in mind. Theodosia listened intently, never interrupting the serious girl as she roughly explained their plan, and only spoke once Hermione was quiet and a little winded. 

“This is a very courageous plan, Miss. Granger. You’re a credit to your house,” Her amber eyes were sparkling, and by the smile she wore, Hermione knew she had been right, “Do let me know how it goes, will you?” 

“Yes ma’am,” She nodded, a proud little smile on her lips. 

“Now then!” Theodosia pulled a few sprigs of Fluxweed from the jar already conveniently in her grasp, “Let’s get you those ingredients, shall we?” 

Just as the assistant turned to skim the shelves, a gloomy voice rattled through the two of them. 

“Miss. Blight?” 

“In here, quickly!” Theodosia whispered to the young girl, who had gone rather pale from fright, and gestured her further into the storage room. Once she had her jar back in hand, she spared Hermione a mischievous little smile before turning off the lights and stepping out of the room, coming face to chest with the angry Potions master. 

“How is it you can do your job so efficiently, but any other order you’re given goes right over your head, Miss. Blight?” Severus glowered, and Theodosia tried to keep a bashful smile on her lips as she pressed her back into the closed door.

“I was only gone for a moment, sir.” She replied, but Severus still grabbed her by the arm and pulled her forward. 

“A moment is all it takes.” He hissed, pulling her along down the hallway, “Next time remain in the office and I will fetch your things for you.” 

“That’s awfully thoughtful of you,” She mused, keeping his focus more on her than the storeroom, “Rather friendly, I’d say.” 

“Will your badgering never cease?” 

Theodosia looked over her shoulder just as the door cracked open and the young girl peeked through. She sent her a fun little wink, and Hermione couldn’t help but smile in return as the women turned her attention back to the fuming professor who pulled her along. Together the two of them disappeared around the corner and Hermione made very good use of the opportunity she was given. 


	11. Departure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The second year comes to an end and Theodosia is glad the year turned for the better.

“Perhaps next year will be more relaxing?” Theodosia mused, packing the small pile of things that sat on her desk into the bottomless bag that hung off her shoulder. 

“I would be surprised if we made it through a week without some sort of catastrophe,” Severus replied dully as he stood by the fireplace, trunk already at his feet as he waited for his assistant to collect the rest of her things. 

“I look forward to that week, then,” She said with a smile, and Severus simply stared. 

Theodosia collected the last of her things from her desk and pulled her trunk along to stand before the fireplace. 

Once again, the year had come to a close and so came the time to part ways. Had the second semester been anything like the first, Theodosia wouldn’t have minded this departure nearly as much. Since the meeting at the Dueling Club, however, things between the two of them had become more pleasant and remained as such the next term. Of course she was still frustrated to be under such surveillance but after the second non-pure blooded student had been paralyzed, Theodosia didn’t much mind having the scary Potions master always at her side. 

Severus had seemed to thaw out as well, in his own strange way. There were still his harsh words and constant scolding, but he did not shush her when she rambled and her positivity did not grate on his nerves nearly as much as it had their first year together. Of course there was still the divide between them but Theodosia did not lose hope that the next year held more in store for remedying that. 

“As you know, feel free to come by anytime you’d like, sir.” Theodosia once again offered, but Severus had the same reply this year as he did the last. 

“Your resilience is astonishing, Miss. Blight.” 

She chuckled as he took the dish of floo powder from the mantlepiece, but he stopped before extending it to her. For a moment he looked a little uncomfortable, his eyes not meeting her’s just yet as he cleared his throat. 

“I know this was not the most pleasant year, given the circumstances I kept you under.” He grumbled, “But I am glad you remained safe, moreso, alive.” 

Theodoisa was surprised to hear the words come from his lips, having expected a last moment scolding or something just as unpleasant, but this alternative was not entirely unwelcome. As backhanded as it may have been, his statement was the kindest thing he had said to her in many years. She simply stared in silence for a moment as he stood stiff and uncomfortable, but soon her surprise melted away to something a little more tender. 

“As much as it hurts my pride to admit, that was likely because of you, professor.” Theodosia joked lightly, and his discomfort all but disbanded, “Thank you for your concern, and your help with my little pest issue. I don’t believe I would have survived the year without you.” 

“Unfortunately, your assistance has become too valuable to lose,” He admitted, and the tone of his words may have been the most pleasant she had ever heard despite them still being a moody grumble, “I look forward to making use of it again next year, Miss. Blight.” 

Theodosia beamed up at him, nearly glowing because of his complimentary words as he finally extended the dish to her. She took up her trunk and then a handful of the green floo powder, before situating herself comfortably inside the fireplace. 

“Goodbye, professor!” She said happily, and he nodded in return. 

“Goodbye, Theodosia.” 

After shouting out her destination, she was gone in a flurry of dust and flames, and Severus only took a moment before seeing himself out the same way. 


	12. Pleasant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theodosia’s third year is off to a good start.

With more freckles on her cheeks and the glow of summer on her caramel skin, Theodosia Blight stepped into the Great Hall with a smile on her full lips. The months away had been wonderful, spent gardening and brewing and reading to her heart’s content, and that good mood didn’t waver. Especially not as she laid eyes on the Potions master, who sat with an expectant look on his face and an empty chair beside him. At the sight of her Severus stood, and the smile that came to her lips was beautiful. 

“It’s wonderful to see you again, professor!” She exclaimed as she took a seat beside him, Severus only doing the same after she was comfortable, “I trust you had a good summer?” 

“It was adequate.” He replied evenly, dark eyes on her, “Given your sunnier than usual disposition, I’m assuming you enjoyed yours?” 

“Immensely!” Theodosia sighed dreamily, setting her chin in her hand, “But I’m very glad to be back. I’ve missed you-” She faltered for a moment, color coming to her freckled cheeks, before quickly adding, “And Hogwarts very much.”

“How you remain constantly enthused to be here, Miss. Blight, I will never know.” Severus said, paying little mind to her slip of tongue. 

Together they watched the children that funneled in through the doors and within moments of sitting down they had slipped back into the comfortable familiarity with each other. The sight of the children, particularly a pale face with round glasses, reminded her of the whispers she had heard on her way in. 

“Apparently there were dementors on the train this evening,” She said with a frown, amber eyes turning to him, “Do you know why, sir?” 

He glanced down at her, looking the woman over for a moment before his eyes scanned across the table. Severus paused on the lanky man who sat on the other end of it, his disgust hardly contained, before he turned his attention back to his assistant. 

“Extra protection will be needed on the grounds this year to prevent any  _ unwanted _ guests,” Severus replied bitterly.

“That doesn’t mean  _ I’ll  _ be needing extra protection, does it?” She said, very nearly whining, “I like you plenty, sir, but I don’t think I could do another year of being glued to your side.” 

“The idea does not appeal to me either,” He grunted, “There is no threat to you, Miss. Blight. You may go about as you wish.” 

The feast began with the sorting ceremony just as it always did, and progressed rather pleasantly as the line of children dwindled down to nothing. Once everyone was properly sorted into their new and respective houses, Theodosia was more than ready for dinner to begin. Maybe the glorious feasts provided every night was to thank for the extra weight she carried, but Theodosia was rather comfortable in her plump little body and so she did not contain her excitement for the food to come. However, there was a matter at hand that needed to be addressed before dinner began, and that was the introduction of the new Defense Against Dark Arts professor, Remus Lupin. 

At first the lanky man had all her attention, but from the corner of her eye she saw the curl of Severus’ lip. He had a rather bitter look on his face, one that didn’t even attempt to conceal his hatred, and Theodosia found her curiosity more peaked by this than the new staff member. 

“Not the best of friends, I take it?” She whispered, trying to make light of his darkening mood. 

“On the contrary, I’ve hated very few people more.” He grumbled under his breath, and the fact that he even replied at all surprised her. 

“I could kill him, if you’d like. Take off a limb at the very least.” Theodosia hummed, and for the first time the corner of his lip curled up in something other than a sneer as he looked to her. 

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Severus replied, amusement clear in his rumbling words, and the assistant felt so proud of herself for earning this reaction that she beamed the whole night through. 


	13. Loyalty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theodosia gets a chance to learn more about Severus, but she does not take it.

“Your first name is Theodosia, is it not?” 

“It is,” She replied shortly, extending the vile out for him to take. He did so with a smile, but she didn’t return it. 

“I’ve heard a lot about you from staff and students alike,” Remus said, leaning against his desk at the front of the classroom, “You seem to be quite an odd woman, Theodosia.” 

“You’re hardly one to talk, professor.” She replied dully, her amber eyes dropping to the vile in his hand. 

He smiled, gave an airy chuckle, and set the vile aside on his desk before turning back to her with crossed arms. 

“The most consistent thing I’ve heard is that you’re incredibly kind to everyone, despite the company you keep.” Remus went on, and Theodosia did not bother to hide her disinterest as she looked back at the door, “And yet every time we meet you’re rather unpleasant. Why is that?” 

Theodosia pursed her lips, looking to the lanky man who watched her expectantly. She wanted to turn on her heel and flee the room as she always did when annoyed, but his boldness had beckoned hers, so Theodosia spoke her mind. 

“I do not care for you, professor Lupin.” 

“Are those your personal feelings, or your master’s?” 

“He is not my  _ master _ ,” She snapped, and he held his hands up in defense, “And it hardly matters where my feelings come from- I don’t like you either way.” 

“I disagree,” He replied, “If they were your own then I’d be alright enough, I suppose. But if you only dislike me because Severus does, I wouldn’t find them nearly as reasonable.” 

“I’m not going to insult him by becoming your acquaintance.” Theodosia said bitterly, “I value his judgement greatly and if he deems you poor company to keep then I will not go out of my way to prove him wrong.” 

She turned on her heel and began to exit from the room, already growing both tired and annoyed of the new professor, but he spoke again before she could get a chance to slip out of the room.

“I never wanted things to go the way they did, you know,” Remus called out after her, and Theodosia stopped just as her hand reached out for the door, “He’s got very good reason to dislike me for what’s happened in the past.” 

“Excuse me?” She asked, slowly turning back to stare at him. 

“How he was treated by my friends and I when we were in school,” Remus admitted, looking a little uncomfortable as he did so, “Sirius and James did the majority of the damage, I’m afraid, but I won’t say I’m entirely innocent. But I never hated Severus, Theodosia. In fact, I wish I could have done more for him.” 

Theodoisa stared at him in silence, amber eyes boring into him, and when the confusion became more clear on her face it began to reflect on his. 

“You don’t know what I’m talking about, do you?” He asked, a little surprised to see that she was rather lost in the conversation, “Has he not told you how we know each other?” 

“No, he hasn’t.” She mumbled, eyes dropping down to her feet as she fought the urge to shift on them. 

“Well, we-” 

“I don’t want to know, professor Lupin. Not from you at least.” She firmly cut him off and turned a sharp eye to him, “If professor Snape would like to tell me on his own then I will listen, but I won’t go prying into his life. I will only know what he wants me to, and not a whisper more.” 

Remus stared at her, clearly taken back by her loyal words. He had never known anyone to care for the gloomy Potions master even in their youth, so the intensity in which she stood by him now was surprising. Despite this, Remus could not help but respect the woman who glared at him from across the room. Most people would give anything to hear things that had been kept from them, especially when it came to people they cared for; how noble it was, for her to not want to hear a word from anyone other than the man himself. 

“Severus is lucky to have a friend like you.” 

She said nothing more, simply stared at him for a moment longer before turning and leaving the classroom. 


	14. Interest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The pair of them take a trip into Hogsmeade to purchase new supplies.

When the first Hogsmeade weekend rolled around, Hogwarts students were not the only ones who could be found in the village. Together the Potions master and his loyal assistant made their way through the stone streets, she with a list in hand and he keeping a sharp eye on the students that bustled around them. 

“First we should stop at Ceridwen’s, they’ve got the best sale going on.” Theodosia hummed as she looked over the scribbled supplies, “Then J. Pippin’s, and perhaps we could stop at Tomes and Scrolls ?” 

He glanced down at her, the way she batted her eyes and smiled hopefully, and looked away with a roll of his own. 

“For a moment.” 

She grinned happily then turned her attention back to the list to read it over a few times more, before finally looking up to the quaint little village before them. It had been years since she had walked these streets. Back then it had been as a student in the company of the very few friends she had, but the three of them had the best of times together. She had gone on a date or two at Madam Puddifoot’s Tea Shop , granted they weren’t very good dates, but she looked back fondly on them nonetheless. 

Of course now things were different and though she was still in company she liked, the charms of this place had dimmed. She was no longer a wide-eyed child excited to spend money and take a breather from the responsibilities of her education, instead she was a grown woman here for business and little more. There were supplies they needed to get for the classroom and once they were gotten they would head back the way they came. It had amazed her that Severus had even accepted her request at all, and she was glad to find that they did indeed stop inside of the bookstore before returning to the castle. 

“What is it you’re looking for?” Severus asked as he watched her graze her fingers delicately across a copy of  _ Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them _ , feeling no need to roam the shop on his own. They were here for her sake, after all. 

“Charity was telling me about a book she wanted to read and asked that I read it along with her.” Theodosia replied pleasantly, “A little book club, of sorts.” 

“What book is it?” 

Theodosia looked embarrassed for a moment, her freckled cheeks darkening as she avoided his eye. 

“It’s just a silly romance novel, is all,” She replied nonchalantly, suddenly very focused on anything that wasn’t the Potions master. 

“That sounds beneath you, Miss. Blight. Surely you can make better use of your time,” Severus sighed, and her gaze sheepishly met his. 

“You may not know this, sir, but I am a woman,” Theodosia joked lightly, a bashful little smile on her lips, “Even the most accomplised of my sex can be enchanted by words of love.” 

Truthfully, Severus had never taken into consideration before that Theodosia had romantic desires of her own. Besides the incident with Lockhart last year, she never spoke about men or women who had caught her eye. Granted, he never asked, but he never really needed to. Theodosia was an open book to those she deemed worthy of it, and he certainly qualified if her admiration for him was anything to go by. He had always seen her as a young fumbling girl first she was, in fact, a grown woman with the same desire that everyone else in the world had: to love and be loved in return. 

Severus said little else as she bought her copy of  _ Devils Snare Down There _ with barely contained embarrassment. Once the book was acquired, the pair of them gathered their new supplies and made their way back to the castle that loomed in the distance. 

“You’re unwed, are you not?” Severus asked stiffly, his dark eyes focused on the road ahead of them even as she startled at his words. 

“I beg your pardon?” Theodosia stammered, and Severus cleared his throat uncomfortably. 

“A woman of your age is usually married.” He elaborated, and Theodosia stared at him with wide eyes as they walked. 

For a moment she was silent, simply staring at the knot in his brow even as he still refused to look at her. 

“Professor, are you...asking about my personal life?” 

“I suppose I am.” 

Still rather stunned, Theodosia turned her attention back to the road before them as she held her bags tightly in hand. Despite her surprise, a rather warm feeling slowly began to swell in her heart. Finally, after nearly three whole years, they were getting somewhere. 

“I’m not married, no,” She said with a slow shake of her head, “I was engaged, once, but obviously that did not turn out very well.” 

“May I ask why?” 

“You may ask just about anything you’d like, truthfully. I’ve waited far too long for your interest to turn it away now,” Theodosia snickered, and Severus finally glanced down to her, “He wanted children and I did not.” 

“I was under the impression that you adored them.” 

“I do!” She replied with a bob of her head, “I love every one of our students- but teaching is different than raising. As much as I like them, I’ve never felt the need to have some of my own. I suppose that sounds odd, doesn’t it?” 

“Not at all,” Severus remarked, “The idea has never appealed to me either.” 

“I could have told you that,” Theodoisa mused, “I don’t take you for the children type in the slightest.”

“And what do you take me for, Miss. Blight?” 

“A good man,” She replied kindly, her eyes bright as she met his dark gaze, “One who will love fiercely if given the chance, and will do so until the very end.” 

For a moment he thought of green eyes, of sitting under trees, and happiness beyond words. Not a day had passed when he hadn’t thought of her, but he realized that this was the first time Lily had ever come to mind while Theodoisa was in his presence. 

Severus feel gravely quiet after that, a strange furrow to his brow, and his assistant was left wondering what had ruined this moment as they made their way back to the castle in heavy silence.


	15. Holiday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theodosia is greatly conflicted on how she should spend her Christmas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is much appreciated!

“Do you have any plans for Christmas, sir?” 

“No.” He replied shortly, nose remaining buried in the homework he was grading. 

Theodosia frowned, her eyes falling back down to the opened letter that sat prettily on her desk. It was delivered just this morning by Genevieve, her little black owl that she’s had since her youth. Only now was she getting around to opening it during a short break in the middle of the piles of homework that needed grading before Hogwarts dismissed them for the holidays. The pair of them sat in their office, parchment stacked high on each of their desks, as they spent the weekend before break grading away. 

When she did not press on as she normally did, Severus glanced up to see that her brow was furrowed and she was still staring down at the letter as though she was greatly conflicted by the contents of it. 

“Troubled, Miss. Blight?” 

She looked up from her desk, amber eyes settling on him as she bit at her bottom lip. 

“My parents would like me to spend the holiday with them.” 

“Is this an issue?” 

“Well, no, I suppose not,” She huffed, “But they’re wanting to go see the rest of our family in France, and I don’t feel as up to the trip as I usually am.” 

“You’re French?” He asked, a dark brow raised.

“My parents are, but I was raised here,” Theodosia said, then added,  “ _ Je peux parler français aussi _ ,”

Severus finally set his quill aside and looked at her. It occurred to him then that he truly knew very little of her, despite having known her for nearly 18 years now. When he simply stared and said nothing else, Theodosia glanced back down to the letter. 

“What are you planning to do on Christmas, professor?” 

“Nothing.” He replied dully, “I do not celebrate the holiday.” 

“Really?” She asked, “Not with family or friends?” 

“I have no family or friends, Miss. Blight.” 

The words made her frown, and for a moment he considered rephrasing them but decided instead to remain silent. 

“Don’t you ever get lonely, sir?” Theodosia asked, avoiding his gaze, “Especially on Christmas?” 

“It is a solitude I have grown used to.”

She bit at her lip once more, looking now to the fire that burned hot in the fireplace. Severus watched as she kept her amber gaze to the fire, feeling as though he should say something, but he did not find the right words and so he decided against it. He was content to return to grading the homework before them in pleasant silence, until Theodosia finally looked back to him. 

“If you aren’t opposed to the idea, perhaps we could spend the holiday together?” 

Her words surprised him, to say the least. How very like her to bounce back from his harshness with another grand attempt at earning his friendship. Not only that, but she had the opportunity to spend the day with family that she did not get to often see and instead chose to extend an invitation to him. 

His initial response was to shut her down and never return to the topic again, but Severus reluctantly found himself unable to instantly reject her. Perhaps it was the small, almost nonexistent part of him that did not want to spend another Christmas alone or the nearly as miniscule soft spot he had formed for his assistant over the last year or so, but he did not blatantly deny her request. He did not accept it, either. 

“I will be here on Christmas, Miss. Blight.” Severus said as he picked up his quill again, “Wherever you are is entirely up to you.”

Theodosia wrote her reply to her parents that evening and sent it out. 

When Christmas finally came around she was rather happy to find herself sitting in her velvet chair in front of the fireplace in their office, slow Christmas carols in the air, a hot cup of cocoa in her hand, and the Potions master at her side. 


	16. Infatuation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charity and Theodosia take a stroll around campus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is much appreciated!

“He’s rather handsome, isn’t he?” Charity mused, her eyes fixed on the lanky professor who passed them in the courtyard with a small smile of acknowledgment. Charity had waved to him but Theodosia had only spared him a glance. 

“You think every man is handsome, Charity.” Theodosia mused, her arm linked in hers as they strolled through the grounds, “You’re the biggest flirt I’ve ever met.” 

“I can’t help it,” The woman protested, head held high, “How you stay locked in the dungeons with Severus Snape all day, I’ll never know.” 

“I beg your pardon?” Theodosia replied, startled by her words, “You find even professor Snape attractive?” 

“Don’t you?” Charity countered, “A tall man with dark eyes, mean and mysterious! Sure, his hair could use a wash and his nose is rather large, but other than that, he’s really quite handsome. Besides, everyone likes a bad boy.” 

“Please don’t refer to him as a ‘bad boy’.” Theodosia frowned, “Professor Snape is not the man he used to be, there is nothing genuinely _bad_ about him. He may be cold, but he’s a good man.” 

Charity simply stared at her dear friend, at the loyalty that burned in her amber eyes as her chin was held high. 

“Are you in love with him, Theo?” She asked, and the woman faltered. 

She did think about it for a moment, if she was in love with the gloomy professor, but the idea did not sit quite right with her. Truthfully, she had never seen Severus Snape in a romantic light. It was incredibly inappropriate to do so as a child so it had never crossed her mind, and even as an adult she had been too focused on wanting his friendship to want his love. Sure, she liked him plenty and admired him greatly, but love was not what she felt for him. 

“No, I’m not,” Theodosia answered after a moment of thought, “I admire him, above all else. He is one of the most intelligent people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing and his company is my favorite to be in, rivaled only by yours, of course.” 

“How very strange,” Charity mused with a smile, “You’re such a bright and excitable woman, and he’s exactly the opposite. I’ll never understand your infatuation with him.” 

“I don’t really understand it myself, in all honesty,” Theodosia replied, “Besides our interest in potions, we have nothing in common and yet I find myself constantly drawn to his side. Perhaps it is love, but not the romantic sort you think it is. I love him as I love you, Charity.” 

The woman beside her beamed, a bright smile on her lips, and held her arm a little tighter.

“I love you too, Theo,” She replied happily, and together they continued to stroll the ground, glad to be in the company of such a dear friend. 


	17. Frozen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theodosia’s third year draws to a very happy close.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is much appreciated!

“Truthfully, I think you did the right thing,” Theodosia said as she locked the last of the drawers in her desk, “If my child was being taught by a werewolf, I would very much like to know.” 

“We’re in agreement, then.” Severus replied, his horrible mood for the last few days having finally let up now that it was time for them to leave for the summer once again. 

When the last of their things were collected and the office had been tidied up for the start of the next term, the pair of them stood together in front of the expanded fireplace with trunks at their feet. No matter how many times this would happen, how many summer breaks would need to be taken, Theodosia would always feel a little blue during these departures. 

“You’re always-” 

“Welcome to visit. I know, Miss. Blight.” Severus cut her off, but there was no malice in his words. 

She offered him a little smile, pretty and bright, and once again he simply stared. 

“One of these days you’ll have to take my offer, you know.” Theodosia mused as Severus took the dish of floo powder from the mantel. 

“Unfortunately, I do know.” He replied evenly, “But it will not be anytime soon.” 

“That’s quite alright,” She chirped happily, glad he had agreed at all, “Just be sure to bring a bottle of strawberry wine when you do finally come.” 

“Strawberry wine?” Severus repeated, a dark brow raised, “So we can rot the teeth from our mouths?” 

“To celebrate the occasion, of course!” Theodoisa chuckled, “If you ever come to see me, I’ll assume we would be great friends by then. That alone is enough to celebrate, don’t you agree?” 

Severus fell quiet, simply staring at the woman who smiled so happily at him. Three years of his chilly manners had not discouraged her yet, and Severus was beginning to suspect that nothing ever would. Though a part of him was still annoyed by her pestering, another was rather charmed by the notion that she still so desperately wanted to befriend him even after being rejected so many times. It was that part of everyone that had hoped no one would ever give up on them, the part that wanted unconditional acceptance and support- the very thing Theodosia was promising with her friendship.

“I suppose I do,” He replied slowly with a nod, and Theodosia all but beamed. 

She took a handful of the floo powder and pulled her trunk forward as she stepped into the fireplace. Theodosia turned and then stopped, not vanishing just yet, as she looked at Severus with bright and rather hopeful eyes. 

“What do you think the temperature is like in hell today, professor?” 

Severus could not help the way the corners of his mouth tugged up in the faintest hints of a smile as his dark eyes met hers. 

“Nearly frozen, I’d say.” 

Her eyes were a little glassy, and the laugh that came from her lips was rather breathless. It was the happiest he had seen her in years, in this tender moment between them, and Severus found himself looking forward to seeing her once more before she had even left. 

“Goodbye, professor,” She said warmly, and he shook his head. 

“Severus,” He corrected her, and Theodosia felt as though her heart may burst right then and there. 

“Goodbye,  _ Severus _ ,” Theodosia tried again, and he could not help but like the sound of his name on her tongue. 

“Goodbye, Theodosia.” 


	18. Kotyonok

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the start of the fourth year brings unwanted company.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is much appreciated!

“And who might you be,  _ kotyonok _ ?” 

The foreigner reached right across Severus, nudging the Potions master back in his chair, so that he could take Theodosia’s hand in his own. The woman startled at the touch, surprised by both his boldness and the ease at which he dismissed the man sitting between them at the high table. Severus glowered at him, pushing his hand away from his assistant and scooting closer to the table so he could not make another attempt.

“Hands to yourself,.” Severus all but hissed, and Theodosia was relieved that the Russina man did not reach out again. 

Despite that, he was not so easily swayed. Igor leaned forward, elbow resting on the table, so he could peer around the sullen Potions master and to the plump little woman who sat on his other side. 

“Igor Karkaroff,” He introduced himself personally, despite Dumbledore having already done so, “And your name?” 

“Theodosia Blight,” She replied, cheeks a little pink at how his blue eyes so blatantly roamed over her form, “A pleasure.” 

“A beautiful name,” Igor purred, “Very suitable.” 

Severus’ sharp eye turned to watch her, how her freckled cheeks were rosey and a little smile played on her full lips. 

“Don’t tell me you’re charmed by this, Theodosia,” He grunted, disapproval clear in his words and she looked down to the table in embarrassment. 

The headmaster kept up his pursuit even as dinner carried on, drinking plenty of the wine provided and leaning forward with one elbow on the table so that he could talk to the woman on Severus’ other side. He paid little mind to the brooding Potions master between them, and Theodosia was a little embarrassed to admit that she did not entirely dislike the attention. Sure, he was a little unnerving with his smiles that didn’t reach his eye and his blatant disregard for the comfort of the man sitting between them, but she could not help but find him attractive in some odd way. Maybe it was his accent or the handsomeness that still lingered over his aged features, but the assistant did not outwardly reject his advances through the night. 

“What is it you teach, Theodosia?” Igor all but purred her name, the sound of it making her cheeks burn hotter. 

“I’m no professor, sir,” She said with a bashful little smile, “I’m merely an assistant to professor Snape.” 

“Is that so?” Igor mused, eyes flickering to the scowling Potions master, “I’m sure you never get anything done with her around, old friend.” 

“We are  _ not  _ friends,” Severus snapped, dark eyes glaring harshly at the man beside him, “If you continue pestering her I will not hesitate to knock your head clean off your shoulders.” 

“She does not mind, do you,  _ kotyonok _ ?” The headmaster replied, turning to Theodosia just as Severus did the same, the discomfort their combined gazes brought making her shift in her seat.

“Perhaps dinner is not the best place,” Theodosia stammered, and Igor perked up at the notion. 

“How right you are!” He agreed, a little too cheerfully, “Perhaps you could take me on a tour of the grounds? There are many sights here that I would  _ love  _ to see.” 

The implication of his words had her ears burning, and Severus spent the rest of the dinner in an especially foul mood. When the last of the students had left and it came time for the staff to depart as well, the Potions master made quick work of taking Theodosia’s arm with his own and leading her out of the great hall before the Russian headmaster could pursue her further. 

“You really don’t like him, do you?” Theodosia asked as she was pulled along, making no move to pull her arm out of his. 

“I don’t, and you shouldn’t either.” He snapped, distaste clear in his words as they followed after the crowd of Slytherins heading for the dungeons, “He is not worthy of your time, Theodosia. There's far better company to keep.” 

“Like your own?” She replied, and his narrowed eyes flickered down to her. 

“I seem to recall you rather like my company,” Severus remarked, unwilling to let her see the slight anxiousness behind his words. 

To his relief, however, she held his arm a little tighter and walked a bit closer, a wide and happy smile on her lips. 

“I’ve never like anyone’s better,” She reassured him cheerfully, “I’m rather glad to see you again, Severus. I’ve missed you.” 

The anger from earlier had begun to deflate as she looked up at him with her cheerful smile, and soon the Potions master found his head leveling once again. They had been so caught up in Igor Karkaroff that they hadn’t gotten much of a chance to greet each other as they usually did at the start of each year, and the comfort of being in her presence again put him a bit more at ease. 

Though he said nothing else, Theodosia knew by the softened look in his eye that he had missed her, too.


	19. Safe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus gets a cruel reminder that life must change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is much appreciated!

They were in the middle of class when he first felt the dull sting in his left arm. 

It made him pause, faltering mid lesson for the first time ever, and Theodosia’s head instantly snapped up from the cauldron she was brewing in. 

He resumed after a moment, seemingly unphased by the slight slip of tongue but it did not so easily leave Theodosia’s mind. She kept a closer eye on him the rest of the class, despite how he carried on unphased, and only when the last of the third year students left the room did she speak up. 

“Severus?” She asked, rounding the table to stand beside him, “Are you feeling alright?” 

“I am,” He reassured her, his dark eyes more tired than they had been at the start of the class. 

“Are you sure?” Theodosia asked, reaching out to place a hand on his arm, “I could clean up here if you’d like to go rest before the next class.” 

Severus gave an appreciative nod, and Theodosia offered him a small smile in return. She left his side to set about cleaning up the last of the supplies from this class and to set up those for the next as Severus made way for the door. Just before he left, however, he turned to look back at the woman who smiled as she worked in their classroom, humming a little tune to herself. 

It was easy to ignore the rest of the world sometimes, to believe there was nothing outside of their classroom and the castle in which they dwelled. Of course there had been a coming danger for many years now and he had been as prepared for it as he could have been, but as he stood in the doorway and watched Theodosia, Severus could not help but feel as though he wasn’t quite as ready as he had thought himself to be. 

The time for action was coming quicker than he had expected, riding in on the cool winds of fall and making his forearm ache with the promise of darkness. Severus was not a foolish man. He could feel the threat of evil looming closer with each day, especially as the mark on his arm began to rise and darken once again. This afternoon was the first time he had actually felt it, and the reality of the world they lived in came rushing at him a little too quickly. 

Severus knew, in the darkest parts of his heart, that the days with his friend were now numbered. They could have just months or even a few years left before the time came, but he realized that things would change for the worst. Soon his old master would call upon him again and gone would be these blissful days of brewing in the dungeons and drinking tea by the fire. If he was summoned back to serve the Dark Lord, Theodosia would be put in grave danger. 

How cruel it was, that he should finally befriend someone after so many years only to have to abandon her so soon. When the world grew too dangerous and his side was no longer the safest for her, Severus would send her away.

She looked up from the table, seeing that he still stood in the doorway, and smiled her beautiful smile. 

Even if it meant losing her, Severus swore to himself right then and there that he would do everything in his power to keep her safe. 


	20. Waltz

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Slytherin students are given a demonstration to prepare for the upcoming Yule Ball.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is much appreciated!

“Though the majority of you are well trained in the finer arts of high society, some of your peers are less fortunate. Therefore, each and every one of you will need to pay close attention or face the consequences of embarrassing the noble Slytherin house.” 

Severus spoke gravely in his usual dull words before the collected members of his house, all of which were fourth years and above. Dungeon five had been cleared and left open for the crowd of them to partake in the dancing lessons required by all houses. The students stood along the walls of the vast room as the Potions master and his loyal assistant stood in the middle of it, looking out over the gathered children. 

“The Yule Ball is an important tradition for the Triwizard Tournament and I expect your best behavior through the night. Though it is a dance, it is not a circus. Do not forget yourselves and the lineage you represent.” 

“Do have fun, though!” Theodosia spoke up, “It’s the only dance you’ll get to attend here at Hogwarts, so make the most of it!” 

“Within reason.” He added, and she nodded in agreement, “Now, Miss. Blight and I will demonstrate for you the proper way to waltz.” 

With a flick of her wand, the record player in the corner of the room began to spin and so filled the space with it’s pretty music. The pair of them stepped away and then turned to face each other, a wide smile on her lips and an amused glint that only she could see dimly in his eye. 

“First, you ask. No one wants to be swept into a dance, no matter how foolishly romantic you think it may be.” Severus said as the students watched, before looking back to his assistant, “May I have this dance, Miss. Blight?” 

“Of course, sir.” 

“Gentlemen, bow to your partner,” Severus said as he did so. 

“Ladies, curtsy,” Theodosia instructed, lifting her sapphire and silver robes as she did. 

“Now you will take your hand and place it on the lady’s waist,” He stepped forward and laid his hand on her, earning himself a loud whistle from the crowd. Severus turned a sharp eye to the sixth year and the snickering students quickly fell silent. 

“Your hand will rest on his shoulder,” Theodosia said, doing so, “And your free hands will come together.” 

She slipped her hand into his own and held it gently. Severus held her hand in return, giving it a soft squeeze that made her smile. 

“And together, you dance.”

The pair of them did just that, gracefully gliding across the classroom as the pretty music accompanied their steps. They themselves had practiced numerous times before this so as to not embarrass themselves in front of the students and so they waltzed through with ease. It had been a little frustrating at first, as neither of them have had to dance in quite some time, but together they relearned the steps and by now knew it well enough to do so with their eyes closed. Despite the height difference between them, the top of her head just barely taller than the top of his chest, they glided across the floor with the grace of two people who had danced all their lives. 

“The man will naturally lead,” Severus said over the music, his eyes tearing away from her for a moment to look to the students who watched them, “Make sure you are confident in your steps as to not lead your partner astray.” 

“If you do find him falling short, however, don’t hesitate to take the lead for yourself.” Theodosia added, doing just that to Severus’ dismay as the students around them giggled. He only let her keep it for a moment before taking charge once more. 

“Immature, Miss. Blight” He muttered under his breath, no real malice in his words, “You’re setting a poor example.” 

“Oh come on,” She giggled quietly so only he could hear, “We want them to have fun, don’t we?” 

“Not too much,” Severus replied dully, “Or they will get out of hand.” 

“A waltz can’t get out of hand, sir,” Theodisa mused. 

“I disagree,” He said, before releasing her hand to grab tightly at her waist and lift her from the ground when the music rose. 

The action startled her, as they hadn’t practiced it before, but she could not deny the joy it brought her. Theodoisa let out a happy little laugh as he held her in the air for just a second before he set her back on her feet, and Severus rather liked the sound of it. 

When the music came to a close, Theodosia was reluctant to pull away from him. However, she was rather aware of the smirking students who whispered amongst themselves, so when the last few notes sang out, they stepped away from each other and bowed. 

“Pair up,” Severus called to the students as a new song began, and the students scrambled to do so. 

Just before they went their separate ways to instruct them, Theodosia nudged him with a happy smile on her lips. 

“That was our best dance yet, I’d say.” 

Had they not been in the company of others, he may have smiled. 

“I believe you’re right.” 


	21. Horrible

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tensions run high as the Yule Ball looms closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is much appreciated!

“This ball is bringing out the worst in these already loathsome children.” Severus grumbled as they brewed in their office, each with their noses in a few cauldrons set up on their desk. 

Once or twice a semester they spend a day brewing potions they had run low on, enchanting their desks to stretch just a little wider to accommodate all of the cauldrons. It was one of their favorite days of the year: they both found joy in the art and, nowadays, the presence of each other. 

“They’re just excited,” Theodosia hummed, tossing a few sprigs of lavender into the Sleeping Draught potion she was tending to, “It’s been over 200 years since it’s been held, afterall.” 

“Not long enough, I say.” 

She chuckled, looking to him as he gloomily looked down into his bubbling cauldron. 

“I would have loved to have the chance back in my day, wouldn’t you?” Theodosia sighed dreamily, “To dress up in our finest clothes, surrounded by music and magic, and dance the night away.” 

“Your sex is showing, Theodosia.” 

His words made her laugh, and he was rather proud of himself for drawing the jolly sound from her. 

“I suppose it is, isn’t it?” She chuckled, “I can’t help it. I’d have adored the whole thing when I was a student.” 

“I can’t say I share your interest,” Severus sighed, finally looking up to her, “I would not have taken the opportunity then, and I’d prefer if we didn’t have to go, now.” 

“Oh come on, it could be fun!” Theodosia mused, “Perhaps you could ask someone to go with you? Make it a date of sorts?” 

“Staff do not take dates,” He frowned and Theodosia shifted a little on her feet. 

“Yes, well, that’s what I tried to tell Igor,” She admitted a little sheepishly, color coming to her cheeks, “But he wouldn’t take no for an answer.” 

His dark eyes darted up to meet hers, displeasure clear on his pale face. 

“Theodosia, tell me you didn’t.” 

“Why wouldn’t I?” She stammered, cheeks darkening as she defended herself, “He’s fun and likes me plenty- and I like him, too. Even if it’s just in words alone, I had no reason to turn him down!” 

“You’re actually attracted to that man?” Severus huffed, setting his ladle aside. 

“I think he’s really quite handsome,” Theodosia replied, avoiding his gaze, “I’ve always had a preference for tall men with odd noses and quizzical brows.” 

Severus simply blinked at her, staring intently as she seemed to be interested in anything else. 

“Your teasing is not appreciated.”

“On the contrary, I don’t believe I’ve ever been more serious.” She replied, her cheeks nearly burning now as she looked a little more uncomfortable, “Please don’t take it the wrong way, but I do have a preference for older men. My ex fiance was nearly fifteen years older than me when he and I were together.” 

Severus tried not to dwell too long on her words, no matter how much of his interest may have been peaked by them. 

“Your preferences aside, Theodosia, have I not told you before that Igor Karkaroff is not the kind of man you should befriend?” He said, his words more scolding than she had heard in a while. 

“You have, but I-” She stammered, but was cut off. 

“Tell him no and do not pursue him any further.” Severus sharply interjected, “You know of his history and so you should know that nothing good can come of getting close to him.” 

Though he most likely meant it with her best interests at heart, Theodosia could not help but be a little peeved at his blatant hypocrisy. 

“A history that you share, do you not?” Theodosia remarked quickly, “Just because I have not brought it up before does not mean I am oblivious to the man you were, Severus. I will dismiss his past just as I have dismissed yours.” 

“You’re a fool, then,” Severus hissed, “Igor Karkaroff is a coward and a sadist, and once he learns that you are muggleborn he will cast you aside without a second thought.” 

“He already knows!” She huffed, her own temper rising, “And his pursuit has not stopped!” 

“Then you should be smart enough to know that he only wants what all men want,” Severus replied bitterly, “Do not fool yourself into thinking he actually  _ likes  _ you, Theodosia.” 

“Is it really so impossible to believe that someone could actually be attracted to me?” Theodosia exclaimed, hurt clear in her words. 

“Sometimes, yes.” 

She could not help the tears that came to her eyes at his words, but her hateful glare did not waver, and the sight of it made Severus’ anger falter. The woman slammed her ingredients back down on her desk and made to leave the office, but stopped just before the door to look back at him now with more sadness than anything. 

“You can be a really horrible friend sometimes, Severus.” She said, disappointment clear in her words, before she turned and stalked out of their office. 

He had to take a seat for a moment, collect himself from the blow of her words. This wasn’t the first time he had insulted someone he had claimed to befriend, and the reminder of it made him nearly nauseous. Despite how mad he may have been in these last few minutes, he found that he began to worry more than anything. 

Silently, he prayed that this mistake would not have the same consequences as the last. 


	22. Yule

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Yule Ball ends better than it started.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is much appreciated!

When the night of the Yule Ball came around, the Great Hall was alive with the excited chatter of students and popular tunes of the The Weird Sisters. Students in all colors and kinds of dress were gathered in the hall, eager to begin the festivities that they had looked forward to since the start of the year. 

Severus did not share in the splendor of the night, his mood rather soiled despite the jolly atmosphere that surrounded him. Even the beauty of the silver-decorated hall could not sway him, and so he nearly sulked as he stood at the front of the room with the rest of the adults in attendance. 

“Do you know where my little  _ kotyonok  _ is?” Igor asked beside him, reeking of his musky cologne more than usual.

“No, and if you’re wise you won’t ask me again.” Severus snapped, dark eyes forward as he glared at the students around them. 

“Jealousy does not become you, Severus,” Igor tisked, and only then did the Potions master look to him. 

“I am not jealous you  _ idiot, _ ” He hissed and the cowardly man shrank back at his words, “I am not looking forward to having to console her after you inevitably screw things up.” 

“You wound me,” The Russian frowned, but the tone of his words were disingenuous, “I’d never hurt her- not unless she  _ wants  _ me to, of course.” 

Severus did not trust his temper enough to stand next to him another moment and so he fled from the group of adults to make his way out of the hall. Before he could exit, however, Theodosia stepped inside the Great Hall, chatting away with Hermione Granger as the girl clung to a champion’s arm. 

Theodoisa was by no means as dressed up as the students were, but she had put more effort into her appearance tonight. She had pulled her hair back into a low bun and left it loose so that the body of her honey colored curls could still be noticeable. A few coils had been pulled free to frame her round face, which more makeup had been prettily applied to. Her usual robes had been exchanged for a more formal set, ones with a flattering silhouette that hugged tighter to her waist and complimented the plump curves of her body. Sapphire and silver had been replaced with emerald and black, the majority of her robes being the green color and accented with elaborate ebony lace and jewels. 

The sight of her made him falter for a moment, especially as her amber eyes turned away from the young girl to meet his own. Hermione and her date excused themselves, leaving the two staff to face each other at the doors of the Great Hall. 

“You’re wearing Slytherin colors,” Was the only thing he could think to say, his throat feeling a little tight at the moment. 

“I’ve told you before, haven’t I?” She replied with a weak smile on her darkly painted lips, “I look wonderful in green.” 

She truly did. 

“Ah, there you are!” A heavily accented voice startled the both of them, and Igor Karkaroff stepped around Severus to go to her. 

He took both of her hands into his own and pressed kisses to the back of them, Theodosia’s cheeks coloring a little at the notion. 

“You look beautiful,  _ kotyonok,”  _ He purred, holding her hands tightly, “Darker colors suit you.” 

“Thank you, Igor,” She said with a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes, looking to Severus who refused to meet her gaze again. 

He stayed in the corner of the room, glowering as he watched the happy students and staff enjoy the festivities. Theodosia tried to make the most of the evening, paying the Potions master as little mind as she could as she danced with Igor, Charity, and anyone else who asked. A few of the students had even asked for a dance, Theodosia being a favorite amongst a lot of them, and she happily accepted them too. Despite how much fun she was having and how lovely the night was, Theodosia could not help but feel as though something- rather, someone- was missing. 

When the excitement of the evening had begun to die down, the energetic party music giving way once again to slower songs to accommodate the closing of the event, Theodosia noticed Severus slip from the room. Seeing this as her only chance, the assistant excused herself from her current company and followed the gloomy Potions master out of the hall and down the corridor. 

She finally found him after a few flights of stairs and out on the Clock Tower balcony, overlooking the courtyard and entrance to the castle. Theodosia knew that he was aware she had followed, but despite this he did not turn to her. The slow music of the Yule Ball still carried on through the vast halls and they could hear it even now in the cold night air. 

“It was not my intention to hurt your feelings, Theodosia,” He finally spoke, struggling as though the words had been forced from him. 

“I know it wasn’t.” She sighed, stepping forward to join him as he looked across the grounds, “But you did, Severus.” 

He was silent for a moment and she feared he would say nothing else, until he finally spoke the words she had been waiting to hear. 

“I’m sorry.” It was little more than a whisper, but she was just glad he had said it at all. 

“It’s alright,” She forgave him easily and he turned his dark eyes down to her, “Just be a little more considerate of my feelings, will you? I don’t like being upset with you.” 

“I will try,” He said quietly, and the pair of them fell silent for a while longer. 

It was a pleasant evening with chilly air but both of them were dressed warm enough that they didn’t much mind it. Snow had only just started to fall a few moments ago, not yet sticking to the ground but giving the night a pretty white glow. 

“This is our second Christmas together, you know,” Theodosia commented, enjoying the view and being at Severus’ side again, “Will we ever get each other gifts?” 

“I am not one for presents,” Severus said and Theodosia hummed in return. 

“I’m not really either. I’ve come to value experiences more than objects the older I’ve gotten.” 

An idea came to her mind right then and she looked up to Severus. He turned his dark gaze to her, watching the way a bit of hope began to make her eyes sparkle. 

“I was looking forward to dancing with you at the ball tonight, you know.” She sighed dramatically, a smile on her lips as she watched him expectantly. 

Despite the hostility this evening had started out with, Severus could not help the small gleam of fondness that came to his eye. 

He stepped away from the balcony and faced her, and the motion made Theodosia nearly giddy as she followed suit to mirror him. The pretty music from the ball still lingered in the air, and the scene set for them with the falling snow and twinkling castle lights was one of the loveliest she had ever had the pleasure of seeing. 

“May I have this dance, Theodosia?” 

“Of course, Severus.”

He bowed to her as she lifted her robes in a curtsy before they came forward into each other’s arms. Their grip was loose, comfortable, and being near each other made the both of them quite warm. Slowly, gracefully, they began their dance. 

Severus could not remember a time quite like this in his life, in which the rest of the world fell away and nothing else seemed to matter outside of her arms. There was no romance behind this dance, no obligation of love or attraction, just two friends enjoying each other’s company on this special holiday. It had been a very long time since Severus has had a friend like her, and Lily’s memory threatened to dampen this moment, but he forced those thoughts aside for Theodosia’s sake. 

After a few spins through a waltz, the pair slowed down to something a little less formal, more a pleasant sway than a full dance. Theodosia laid her head against his chest, and Severus stiffened for just a moment before settling again. 

“Happy Christmas, Severus,” She sighed pleasantly against him, happy to be at his side where she belonged. 

“Happy Christmas, Theodosia,” He replied, happy to have her there. 


	23. Task

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus, Theodosia, and Charity attend the second task.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is much appreciated!

“Gillyweed!” Charity exclaimed as they watched on from the staff’s stands, “Oh, that's very clever!” 

“There is nothing clever about  _ theft _ , Miss. Burbage,” Severus grumbled from Theodosia’s other side, glaring down at the Gryffindor boy. 

Theodosia glanced to Charity, a sneaky little smile on her lips, and the professor had to stifle her laughter at the mischievous look in the assistant’s eye. Perhaps she had helped a certain elf in acquiring a plant from their storage rooms after having stumbled upon him already in there. He was just so sweet that she couldn’t turn him away. 

“Absolutely right, sir,” Theodosia nodded in agreement, and Charity masked her snort with a poorly feigned cough. 

Truthfully, Severus wasn’t too interested in watching the tasks for the Triwizard Tournament. He didn’t doubt that Harry Potter had somehow put his own name in the goblet and the fact that he was still allowed to compete despite his blatant disregard of the rules did not sit very well with him. The only reason he was even in attendance was because Theodosia had been so excited to view the tournament, and no matter how many times Severus had tried to get out of it, he still found himself on one side of his assistant as Charity sat on the other. 

“Oh!” The assistant perked up, her eye being caught by the headmaster that beckoned for her on the platform below, “I’ll be right back”

“Theodosia,” Severus groaned, his disapproval clear as she started to shimmy past him. 

“It’ll only be a moment!” She replied, a chipper smile on her lips as she left the two of them to climb down the stairs and to the Russian waiting for her. 

“I don’t like him either, you know.” Charity said as she moved to stand beside him, “Never trust a man with a curled beard.” 

Severus did not reply, less interested in conversation now that Theodosia was gone. Charity was not his friend in the slightest, perhaps a more familiar acquaintance but only because of his assistant. Theodosia adored the woman and spent a good deal of time with her, so Severus tolerated the Muggle Studies professor just a smidge more than others. He still did not like her by any means. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone as grand as Theo, don’t you agree?” Charity asked as she leaned across the railing, looking down at the woman who laughed along with the Russian, “She's a marvelous person and a wonderful friend.” 

“Miss. Blight is tolerable.” He replied dully, watching the steady waters with boredom.

“You don’t have to act so indifferent, you know,” Charity mused, “She’s very open about her admiration for you.” 

“She likes everyone,” 

“Sure, but not like she likes you,” She stated. 

Theodosia turned her attention away from Igor for a moment to look back up at them. A wide smile spread on her lips as she waved, and Charity returned the gesture happily. It wasn’t until Severus gave a little nod of acknowledgement that Theodosia’s face really lit up, and she turned back to Igor with now sparkling eyes. 

“I hope she and I are friends for the rest of my life, and I know in all certainty she will be yours for the rest of your life,” The woman said with a smile, “If you ever hurt her though, know I’ll come for you, Severus, and I won’t hold back.” 

Despite the way the woman still smiled, she watched him with a gaze that nearly made him uncomfortable. He refused to show his discomfort and instead did not let his cold gaze waver. 

“Your threats are in vain, Miss. Burbage.” He replied simply, turning to look at Theodosia as she began to climb the stairs and make her way to them again. 

“Did I miss anything?” She asked as she came to stand between them again, nuzzled comfortably between two of her favorite people as the cool spring air rolled off the lake. 

“Not at all!” Charity replied, and together the two women turned their attention back to the task. 

Severus did not say much else for the rest of the afternoon but he did glance at Theodosia a few more times than he needed to, especially when she smiled or laughed so happily. 


	24. Foolish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theodosia’s loyalty cannot be swayed, especially not now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is much appreciated!

Only when they reached the privacy of the office, after Crouch Jr. had been revealed and promptly taken from the premises, did Theodosia let herself cry. As soon as the door was shut she fell into her chair and sobbed, burying her face in her hands as Severus came to her side. 

Theodosia had never witnessed death before. She had the great fortune of a wonderful life, with parents who adored her and played no part on either side of the war. They were muggles with simple lives, the most exciting thing about them being a magical daughter. The only time she had ever encountered loss was when she was very little and both of her remaining grandparents had died in a car crash.

But she had known Cederic, talked to the boy and helped him during his Potions classes, smiled at him in the halls when he went out of his way to greet her. They weren’t terribly close, but he was still a student that she had known for many years now, and the weight of his death sat heavy on her heart. She had been in the crowd, eager to watch the last task play out, and so she witnessed the cries of a grieving father and saw the lifeless corpse that lay underneath Harry Potter. 

He was never very good at comforting, as emotions and affection had never been his strong suit, and so Severus could do little else but simply be there. He sat in his own chair next to hers and stared down to the floor, the mark in his arm burning hot as the ink finally reached opacity, but he could not abandon her now. At one point in time her tears had made him uncomfortable, but now they only displeased him. 

“He was just a child!” She sobbed, trying to speak through her tears, “Who could ever do such a thing?” 

Severus knew exactly who had done it, could feel it with every fiber of his cold being, and dreaded the fact that he would have to answer her. 

“Theodosia, you must listen to me carefully,” He began, an urgency to his words, and she finally looked to him with glassy eyes., “The Dark Lord has returned, there is no denying it now. Things are going to change here and I think it may be best that you do not return to Hogwarts again once the year is over.” 

“I-I beg your pardon?” She stammered through her tears, “Are you firing me, Severus?” 

He regretted that it should be this way, and had hoped that they had at least a little longer before they reached this point. Cederic’s death had shaken her nearly to her core, making the Potions master fear that she would not be able to handle what laid before them. The moment the third task had ended, Severus dreadfully realized that it would be best to send her away now to avoid any future distress. She would be upset, of course, but she would be safe. 

“In order to keep you safe, yes.” He said, his displeasure hardly concealed in his words, “Another war is coming, that is certain, and my side is no longer the safest place for you to be.” 

It was too much at once, the fear of witnessing death and the dread that began to set in her heart at the idea of not returning to this place. She felt incredibly overwhelmed at that moment, but she did her very best to try to make sense of what he was saying. No matter how many times she thought it through, how many scenarios she imagined, not a single one of them convinced her of this idea. 

“No,” She protested, wiping at her eyes as she tried to gather herself, “No, I won’t go.” 

“Be reasonable,” He tried to convince her, “You’re a muggle born witch, you do not have the safety of your blood to protect you.” 

“I don’t care about that!” Theodosia exclaimed, “I won’t leave at the first signs of danger! I am not a little girl, Severus, I can protect myself!” 

“Do not let your pride blind you!” Severus snapped back at her, his own temper flaring at her stubbornness, “You cannot begin to comprehend what will happen to you should things take a turn for the worst! I will not have your life weighing on my conscience! You are leaving, Theodosia, whether you like it or not!” 

“ _ No! _ ” She shouted, standing quickly from her seat as the last of her tears had dried, “I will not let you send me away, especially not now! Don’t think I don’t know what this means for  _ you, _ Severus! I know your old master will call upon you again and I refuse to stand aside for it!”

“You foolish girl!” He roared, rising as well, “I cannot be helped now, especially not by you, and I will not risk your life because you’re too stubborn to understand that!” 

“I don’t care if its stubborn, or dangerous, or even foolish!” Theodosia shrieked, “ I have spent far too long fighting for this friendship to abandon it now!” 

“Don’t you understand?!” Severus bellowed, and in a moment of anger he pulled up the sleeve of his robes. The sight of the Dark Mark so heavy on his skin made her falter, “I am the last person in the world who you should be near now! Staying at my side will only ensure your death!” 

Theodosia stared at the mark with wide eyes, how the dark ink was set so clearly in his skin and the flesh around it was red and irritated as though it was burning him at this very moment. She had known of his past, had read it in papers and heard it in whispers, but to see the symbol of it so prominent on his skin put a hollow pit in her stomach. 

“I will not let myself be responsible for your death, Theodosia!” He rasped, but there was something in his voice that made her believe that the very notion pained him in some way, “Even if it means you should hate me for the rest of your life, I will not lose you, too!” 

Tears stung at her eyes at the clear distress on his face, at the way his dark gaze was so fierce yet so weak. She didn’t know who else he had lost but she didn’t find the strength inside of her now to ask. 

Any wise, or even halfway sane, person would recoil away from him and flee the room, curse him as though he was a bad omen and want nothing more to do with it. She was a wise woman and knew very well the implication of this mark and the obligations he would have to it once more, and every part of her mind told her to turn on her heel and leave him behind- but she could not. Her heart ached at the very thought of it, at the mere idea of leaving her friend to face the growing dangers of this world on his own. Her safety be damned- Theodosia would not leave him now. 

Instead of leaving the room and fleeing as she knew she should have, the assistant stepped forward and threw her arms around the Potions master, and held him tighter than she had ever held anyone in her life. 

“I won’t leave you, Severus,” Theodosia protested against him with new tears in her eyes, ignoring how stiff he had grown in her embrace, “I care far too deeply to stand aside and let you face the horrors of the world all on your own. I belong  _ here _ , with  _ you _ , no matter how dangerous it may be. Please, dont send me away now that you will need me more than ever!” 

He did not move, frozen in her embrace as she all but sobbed against him. When was the last time someone had held him so close, had spoken such passionate words for him? It must have been many years since he had a friendship like hers, and even then Lily had not fought nearly as hard to stay by his side. Of course Theodosia could never replace her spot in his heart, but Severus felt just a small part of his soul grow softer, her name forever searing itself into his being as she so adamantly fought for their bond. 

Severus knew, as he finally allowed himself to hold her close, his hand buried in her hair and his arm looped tightly around her, that he could not be parted from Theodosia as he had so claimed. The woman had fought her way into his cold heart, forcing herself to fit perfectly in what little room there was left. Without him even realizing, she had made herself essential to his happiness and thus, his existence. No matter how much he argued for it or fought against these feelings, Severus knew that he would never again be at peace if Theodosia was not at his side. 

“You foolish, foolish girl,” He muttered tenderly into her hair, but held her just a little closer. 

Wherever the Potions master went, his loyal assistant would always follow. 


	25. Sick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ron and Hermione see Miss. Blight in an unexpected place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is much appreciated!

“I thought I smelled a wet dog,” 

“How I’ve missed you, Theodosia.” 

The summer had been rather busy for the both of them individually. With the return of the Dark Lord came a new wave of responsibilities and obligations. Since Theodosia refused to leave his side, he had decided it best to let her in on a few important details that came with their situation. She had been very against the idea of him returning to the Death Eaters, spy or not, and it had taken her quite a few days and a visit from Dumbledore to be reasoned with. Theodosia had made it very clear to the both of them that she herself would not aid the Dark Lord in any way, but had agreed to join the Order of the Phoenix instead. 

They had yet to see each other since departing after the school year but now, after nearly a month, they had been reunited in the gloomy home of 12 Grimmuald Place. Theodosia had all but jumped into his arms, and Severus was rather glad that only a busy Molly Weasely had been there to witness it. Once the excitement of their reunion had settled down, Severus and Theodosia took a seat at the long table and waited for the rest of the order to join them. As they sat, Severus informed her about the other members under his breath, his disliking rather clear for each of them. So when Sirius Black and Remus Lupin entered the room, Theodosia already had her nose turned up in the air. 

“Theodosia Blight,” Remus greeted as he stepped forward, paying little mind to her comment as he held his hand out for her to take, “It’s wonderful to see you again.” 

“Remus,” She simply nodded, standing from her seat as Severus did, but not taking his hand. 

“Ah, so you’re the assistant,” The shaggy man beside him said, his lips pulled into a wolfish smile, “Moony’s told me a lot about you. Sirius Black,” 

Theodosia did not take his hand as it was extended for her either, and the little smirk that played on Severus’ lips was poorly concealed. After a moment of letting it hang in the air, Sirius’ smile became a little uncomfortable before he withdrew his hand from her. 

“A pleasure,” She replied dully, a little curl in her lip, and the pair of them made no move to speak to her again once the rest of the order began to file in. 

Theodosia did shake the hands of the other members who greeted her, most pleasant to a point but obviously skeptical of her. She had been warned by both Severus and Dumbledore that they wouldn’t outwardly trust her given the close affiliation she had to the Potions master, but she didn’t mind. Afterall, Theodosia was mostly here for Severus' sake. 

Just before the meeting had begun and most of the members had gathered around the table, Severus and Theodosia content to mostly whisper between themselves, she heard someone from the doorway calling out to her. 

“Miss. Blight?”

Hermione Granger stood with Ronald Weasly at her side, confusion clear in her gaze as she looked on. It was the first time Theodosia smiled towards anyone but Severus that night and she stood quickly from her chair to approach the young girl. 

“Miss. Granger,” She greeted cheerfully, a pleasant smile on her lips, “And Mr. Weasley. It’s good to see you two,” 

“I didn’t know you were a member of the order,” Hermione commented, glancing over the woman’s shoulder and to where the sullen professor stood. At the sight of him, she seemed to understand. 

“It’s a newer development,” Theodosia replied, giving little more than that, “I trust you two have kept safe this summer?” 

They talked on pleasantly for just a little while longer, more so the two females than the bored looking boy beside them. Only when Molly Weasely came to shoo the two children upstairs for the meeting to begin did the three of them part, and Theodosia made her way back to Severus’ side. 

“I swear he’s got her bewitched or something,” Ron whispered to her as they were hurried up the stairs, glancing over the railing to catch another look at them, “No one would willingly stick around Snape this long,” 

“You wouldn’t understand,” Hermione huffed, jerking him further up the stairs by his sleeve. 

“If you’re about to tell me they’re in love, I’m gonna be sick!” 

“Grow up, will you?” She snapped, “Now stop fooling around, Harry will be here any moment.”


	26. Pink

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus makes Theodosia laugh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is much appreciated!

“I don’t like this woman one bit,” Theodosia whispered as she leaned in closer to Severus, so close she could smell the bitter sage of his cologne, “I’ve never seen such an ugly shade of pink,” 

“Unfortunately, her color is not the worst of it,” He mumbled back, leaning in a little as well as he kept his eye on the stout woman who addressed the Great Hall, “Should you ever find yourself alone with that woman, you have my full permission to neglect your manners.”

“How generous of you,  _ master, _ ” She teased quietly, and he turned an amused eye to her. 

He was just about to reply when a clearing of someone's throat drew their attention, and when the both of them looked forward they saw Dolores Umbridge staring pointedly at them, a smile on her lips despite the displeased look on her face. 

Severus simply blinked at her, his cold facade back in place, but Theodosia was not so easily deterred. It felt like she was a young girl in class again, being scolded for passing notes between friends, and she could not help the little snort of laughter that the woman’s look drew from her. She covered it poorly with a cough, dabbing at her mouth with a napkin to hide her smile, and Umbridge's eyes crinkled before she turned back to the students and resumed her speech. 

“The front is worse than the back.” Severus muttered under his breath, and Theodosia’s shoulders shook hard as she silently laughed into her napkin, trying her very best not to make a sound. 


	27. Unsuccessful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Umbridge pays a visit to the Potions classroom, and it sets both of them on edge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is much appreciated!

“You applied first for the Defense Against the Dark Arts post, is that correct?” 

“Yes.” 

“But you were unsuccessful?” 

“Obviously.” 

Theodosia turned a sharp eye to the Gryffindor students as they chuckled, her annoyance hardly hidden. Not for the children before them, but the short woman who scribbled something down on her clipboard with an ugly little smile on her face. Severus was less than amused, and she knew that he would voice his displeasure once they were in the privacy of each other’s company, but for now he stood with a nasty scowl across his features. 

Once Dolores was done writing she stepped around the Potions master and made her way closer to Theodosia, where she stood putting a few freshly chopped ingredients in their proper vials. 

“Theodora Blight, was it?” 

“ _ Theodosia _ ,” She corrected her, and Severus snapped at the students to get back to their work so that he could keep an eye on the interaction between the two. 

The woman hummed, wrote something down, then looked up. 

“And what is it you do here, Miss. Blight?” 

“I assist professor Snape,” Theodosia replied evenly, trying her best to remain civil but unable to completely suppress her displeasure. Students rarely saw her in such an unhappy state. 

Umbridge didn’t look very impressed, her smile becoming a little more strained as she turned to Severus, who hovered nearby. 

“If your position is so burdensome as to require an  _ assistant _ , perhaps you need to be relieved of some of your duties, professor Snape?” 

With her back turned to Theodosia, she could not see the worry that flashed across the usually collected woman’s face. The sight of it did not sit well with her friend, and he did not hesitate to attempt to indirectly sooth her. 

“Miss. Blight is very helpful when it comes to keeping my stores well supplied,” He replied evenly, nothing showing through his cold stare, “Especially since I find myself using more ingredients lately, as  _ certain potions _ are in demand.” 

Umbridge gave a shrill little hum of disapproval, her eyes crinkling but the ugly smile never leaving her lips. Severus did not back down from the woman’s piercing gaze and after a moment she finally turned away to write something on her clipboard, before turning and promptly leaving the room. Only when she was through the door did Theodosia let out a breath she didn’t even realize she had been holding. 

Once the last of the Gryffindors had exited the room, leaving the pair of them on their own, the woman finally let herself relax as much as she could. The discomfort was still clear on her face, her amber eyes a little worried as she turned to look at Severus from where she stood across the room. 

“You have nothing to fear, Theodosia,” Severus reassured her, crossing the room to come to her side, “I will not have you sent away because of that woman, and Dumbledore will make sure of it.” 

“I hope so,” She sighed, a weak little smile on her lips, “Or else my fit last year will have been for nothing.” 

Though she tried to joke it off, smile as though she were unbothered, Severus knew that the encounter had shaken her a bit. The changes around Hogwarts had put everyone on edge and even the ever-chipper Theodosia Blight was no exception to this. 

“Don’t worry yourself any further,” Severus said, trying to pull her attention away from her thoughts, “Come, let’s go to lunch.” 

Her smile became a little more grateful, and she took the arm extended to her before the pair of them left the room. 


	28. Warm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus attends a Ravenclaw Quidditch match.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is much appreciated!

“Go Chang!” 

Theodosia was standing up in her seat, hollering loudly for the girl who had just zipped by so quickly that it made her scarf nearly hit her in the face. She didn’t mind at all though, far too thrilled to be watching the match to care for much else. Ravenclaw’s team had just been reinstated after a long wait following  Educational Decree Number Twenty-Four , and Theodosia couldn’t get into the staff seats quick enough. 

“I did not miss this,” Severus groaned, more to himself than anyone else, as Theodosia continued to hoot and hollar for the flying students. 

“I certainly did!” Charity said, able to speak to him from Theodosia’s other side because the woman was standing. She had painted blue and silver stripes across her cheeks, and Severus was grateful that his assistant had forgone the makeup. 

Theodosia blopped back down into her seat, wide hips nudging the both of them as she did so. Her amber eyes were bright and alive with a shine they hadn’t had yet this year, no thanks to the pink menace that loomed in the halls. 

“What is the point in sitting back down when you’re only going to jump from your seat again?” Severus huffed and she turned to beam up at him. 

“You’re both rather warm,” She hummed, nuzzling a little closer for emphasis, “Being so high up nearly chills me to my bones!” 

“Then dress more appropriately,” He replied dully, but it did not hinder the smile on her face. 

Charity was preoccupied by professor Sprout on the other side of her, and so the pair of them were left to their own devices for the time being as the students continued to passionately play before them. They passed in flashes of blue and gold, Theodosia’s eye struggling to keep up with them for the most part. In this bit of silence, with Charity occupied and the game losing her interest for just a moment, she looked up to the Potions master who scowled beside her. 

“Thank you again for coming,” She said, a little quieter as to not be overheard. Though their friendship was no secret, she still preferred to keep some things between the two of them, “I know you’re not one for Quidditch, and my cheering isn’t your favorite sound in the world, but I’m glad you’re here.” 

Theodosia reached out and placed her gloved hand over his own, giving it a small squeeze for just a moment. His eyes dropped down to the pair of their hands, staring at the sight of them until an impressively blocked goal drew her attention and had her jumping from her seat. When she sat again she offered him a wide smile and though he did not return it, his scowl melted to something just a little softer. 


	29. Theodosia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus feels something he hasn’t felt in years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is much appreciated!

“Your father was a muggle, was he not?’ Theodosia asked, peeking up to look at him as he sat before the fire, “Surely you must know a few of these.” 

“My father was not the music type,” He grumbled, then took a sip of his tea. She knew not to press on when he did not say anything else, and so she turned back to the small trunk of records that sat on her desk. 

Last Christmas they had been preoccupied with the Yule Ball and so they could not be here in their office as they had done the year before that. However, now that the castle had fallen quiet due to the break and the jolly holiday was upon them, they found themselves back in the office to celebrate once again. Her parents had been displeased that she had rejected their invitation for the third year in a row, but she could not find it in herself to regret it entirely since it meant she would be here at Severus’ side.

Just as she had two years ago, Theodosia had pulled her record player from her personal room as well as the various vinyls that went with it and set them up in the office. Snape had started a warm fire and summoned cocoa and tea from their set, leaving Theodosia with the task of picking this year’s tunes. 

“Ah, this one!” She finally announced after a moment, pulling out a worn casing that read in bright jolly letters ‘A Classic Christmas’. 

Severus watched from the corner of his eye as she went to the record player in the corner of the room and pulled out the vinyl from it’s festive sleeve and set it on the track. After a few moments of fiddling, the smooth voice of Dean Martin filled the air and sang about letting it snow. With a chipper smile on her lips, Theodosia made her way to him and took a seat in her chair of stars. Once her hot cocoa was in her hands, she sunk further down into her seat and turned happy eyes to the fire. 

“I think Christmas has become my favorite holiday,” She mused and he glanced over to her. 

“And why is that?” 

“Because I get to spend it with you, of course,” 

The small smile on his lips was hidden by the rim of his teacup as he took a drink. 

“All we do is sit by the fire and talk,” He replied, watching her with dark eyes, “It’s hardly any different than any other evening.” 

“I disagree,” Theodosia hummed pleasantly, “It’s the only day of the year I drink hot cocoa, and I believe it may be one day you’re at your nicest.” 

“You say that as though I treat you poorly every other day,” Severus said, but there was no malice in his words. 

“You don’t, but even you aren’t immune to the joys of the holiday,” She said, a smile on her lips as she looked at him, “You smile more often today and its the only time you let me play music. Besides, you danced with me last Christmas, and I know for certain you wouldn’t have if it was any other day.” 

“That’s correct,” He said with a nod, his dark eyes kept on the fire. 

“That being said, it  _ is  _ Christmas,” Theodosia mused, an expectant smile on her lips, “And this music is rather nice, wouldn’t you agree?” 

For a moment Severus couldn’t help but think back to when she had first come to his aide, when he wouldn’t have even considered showing her praise, much less dancing with her. In the beginning he had been so cold and strict about keeping her at arms length, sure that he would never befriend her in the ways she so adamantly wanted. Maybe it was just a result of time, or her continuous attempts at earning his friendship, or even his own desire to be important to someone for the first time in so many years, but as he watched her now Severus could not help but notice how much really had changed. This was further proved by how he set his teacup on the saucer and let her excitedly pull him from his chair. 

When they had first danced, what felt like a lifetime ago, it had been for the sole purpose of educating their students and nothing more. There was no desire to do so outside of necessity, no passion for the art, but time and friendship had taken their dance from a heartless action to a staple of their bond and how far it had come. Had it been anyone else, Severus would have turned her away with little more than some harsh words and a nasty scowl.

But this wasn’t anyone else, this was Theodosia. Theodosia, who had come back to him after so many years, who returned his cold remarks with cheerful chatter, who favored his company above all else. Theodosia, who cared for the art of potions as much as he did and had the intellect to back it, who defended him to anyone who looked at him with even the faintest trace of malice in their gaze, who chose time and time again to spend Christmas at his side despite the extended invitations from her family. Theodosia, who’s most beautiful smile was reserved for him and him alone, who’s cheerful laughter put him at ease and who’s touch sent his heart racing faster than the beating of a hummingbird’s wings. 

Severus Snape felt that familiar grip over his heart, one he had long since thought impossible for him to ever feel again. The feeling did not bring green eyes to mind, did not remind him of sitting beneath trees or defending from hateful sisters. Instead he thought only of this, of laughter that fell from full lips and freckles over caramel skin, and of happiness beyond words.


	30. Patronus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theodosia casts the Patronus charm for a curious Hermione.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is much appreciated!

“Do you know how to cast the Patronus charm, Miss. Blight?” Hermione asked, looking up to the woman as the pair of them walked the halls. 

“I do!” Theodosia nodded with a pleasant bob of her head, “It’s been many years, though,” 

Hermione was silent for a moment, as though she were thinking through something important, before speaking again. 

“If it isn’t too personal, may I ask what you think of when you cast the spell?” 

Theodosia faltered for a moment, the pleasant smile on her lips turning more bitter than sweet, but she answered the young woman nonetheless. 

“It used to be the day my fiancé proposed to me. We were in Ireland on holiday, and he got down on one knee on a cliff overlooking the sea.” She said with a small smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes, “Now though, I’m not sure if I’d think of that...So really, I don’t know if I could cast it at all anymore.” 

Hermione looked down with a troubled frown on her lips and a knot to her brow, and Theodosia couldn’t help the curiosity that the look peaked. Luckily it was just the two of them alone in the halls and so the rest of the corridor was vacant of any nosey students that may be listening. With the establishment of the  Inquisitorial Squad, the halls of Hogwarts weren’t nearly as good at keeping secrets as they used to be. 

“Why do you ask, Miss. Granger?’ She questioned, a familiar sparkle in her eye, “Up to something brave?” 

“Always, ma’am,” Hermione said with a smile, unable to help the way she beamed.

“I could try for you, if you’d like,” Theodosia offered with a grin, “Perhaps walk you through the process?” 

“I would like that very much!” The young girl replied quickly with an eager nod of her head, “Thank you!” 

“I’ve got a free period before the next class,” The assistant replied, “Why don’t you come down to the dungeons with me?” 

Hermione was quick to agree and together the pair of them made their way down into the dark dungeons of the castle. Severus was not in the classroom when the two of them entered, much to Hermione’s relief, and Theodosia set her things aside on Severus’ desk before withdrawing her wand. 

The young student took a moment to admire the look of it, as she had never seen Theodosia’s wand before. It was made of a warm colored wood, polished prettity with a spiral wrapping along the handle. 

“I’ve never seen a wand with a gemstone before,” Hermione commented, and Theodosia offered her a smile and turned it around so that she could better see the gem on the bottom of it. 

“It’s a sapphire,” Theodosia replied proudy, “The wood is cedar and there's a unicorn hair at the heart of it.” 

“You must be a very loyal person, Miss. Blight,” Hermione stated, “Sapphires have symbolized loyalty and honesty for ages, and the cedar wood is acquainted with the very same qualities as well.” 

“Brillant, Miss. Granger,” Theodosia replied, taking a proper grip of her wand once again, “Ollivander said that very thing to me when I got it many years ago. Now, where were we?” 

“The Patronus charm, ma’am.” 

“Right!” 

Theodosia made her way to the front of the room and Hermione took a seat at one of the tables, watching as the woman took a deep breath and collected her thoughts. 

“The Patronus charm is a very powerful defensive spell, one of the strongest a wizard or witch could ever cast,” The assistant explained, though she knew that Hermione was already well aware of this, “ The recollection of a single talisman memory is essential in its creation, rather than a plethora of happy instances. Try to focus on just one, a single moment in your life when you have known no greater happiness.” 

She closed her eyes, at first envisioning rushing waves and a glittering ring, but the memory did not invoke the same joy that it used to. 

“When I think of that happiness, I think of…” 

She thought of dark eyes and rare smiles, of sipping tea before a fireplace and brewing potions at his side. Theodosia thought of standing in an expanded fireplace and looking back to him, questioning with hesitancy the temperature in hell and the reply that set her heart on fire. 

“Severus,” She admitted softly, and then rose her wand, “ _ Expecto Patronum!”  _

From the tip of her wand sprang a beautiful burst of silver spirals, the mist taking the shape of wings. Theodosia knew her animal to be a swan, and expected that fully, but was quite surprised when the rest of the mystical form took the shape of a glittering bat. It’s light was brilliant and beautiful, and it swept across the room in long, elegant glides. 

“A bat!” Hermione exclaimed, watching the animal with wide-eyed wonder as it flew, “I’ve never seen that before!” 

“Neither have I,” Theodosia replied quietly, her astonishment clear as the charm came to fly around her and then head for the door, vanishing through the wood. 

The charm flew high through the halls of Hogwarts and students and staff alike stopped to admire the beautiful animal as it soared. It’s silver mist followed it through the castle, glittering as it traveled through corridors and hallways, swerving in and out of windows, until it finally soard along the side of the castle so that it could fly through the window of the headmaster’s office.

“A Patronus?” Dumbledore questioned, and Severus looked just as perplexed as the animal circled the ceiling before dipping down to fly lower. 

It circled once around Severus, flickering up the cloak of his robes, until it finished it’s path by flying square into his chest and disappearing in a flurry of silver and light. A feeling so warm and so wonderful bloomed in his heart right then, as though all of the joy in the world had planted itself within him. It was quick, lasting only a moment, but it was the greatest happiness he had ever felt before. 

It made him think of Theodosia, of the way she smiled at the sight of him and how it felt to hold her close, and Severus’ heart beat heavy in his chest. 


	31. Legilimency

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theodosia allows Severus into her mind- for knowledge’s sake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is much appreciated!

“How did I not know you were a Legilimens?” Theodosia asked, her curiosity thoroughly peaked as Severus glared down at the homework he was grading. 

“You’ve never asked.” Severus replied simply before giving an especially harsh flick of his quill over an incorrect answer. 

“That’s a poor reason and you know it,” She huffed, her attention fully taken away from her own stacks of work so that she could peer at the Potions master in the desk across from her, “What is it like, to see into another person’s mind?” 

“Can this wait until after we’ve finished our work?” He groaned, looking up to find her watching him expectantly. From the look in those amber eyes, he knew his answer instantly. With a sigh, Severus set his quill aside, “Legilimency can be a great weapon when used correctly, and very helpful when encountering an unpredictable foe.” 

She hummed, thinking over his words. Theodosia had never encountered Legilimency before, had only read about it in books. It made sense that a powerful wizard like Severus Snape would be able to use such a skill, especially given the situation he was in. She herself had never been very interested in it; a person’s thoughts were the only place in the world where they were guaranteed their privacy, she had no interest in disturbing that. 

A question did come to mind, however, one that didn’t so much bother her as it did peak her interest. 

“Have you ever used it on me?”

Severus was quick to shake his head, “I have never felt the need to.” 

She offered him a smile, glad he had respected her privacy, but her curiosity was not satisfied just yet. Theodosia had never been knowingly in the presence of a Legilimens and now that she was, her interest was peaked. Severus sat quietly, waiting for whatever other question she had for him, and was ready when she turned her curious gaze to him once more. 

“Would you like to?” 

He was clearly taken back by her question, his brow furrowing and a frown pulling on his lips. She didn’t seem very phased by it, just as chipper and cheerful as usual, moreso now that she had an opportunity to learn something new first hand. 

“I don’t believe that would be wise.” Severus replied after a moment, and Theodosia huffed in return. 

“Why not? It’s not like I have anything to hide from you,” She retorted, “I’m very curious as to how it works in practice, and who better to trust with the opportunity than my friend?” 

Damn her and her charming words; Severus sighed heavily at the notion but could not find it in himself to deny her. Perhaps if he satisfied her curiosity, they could get back to the work at hand and hopefully be done before the sun set. He stood from his chair and she was all too eager to follow, the excitement clear on her face as she rounded her desk. 

“It will only be for a moment and then back to work. Agreed?” 

“Agreed!” She said with a cheerful nod of her head. 

Severus moved the chairs before the fireplace to face each other, and the two of them sat. Her excitement was clear on her face but Severus did not look nearly as eager.

Of course he had considered it a time or two, slipping into her mind to see what she had not shared, but their growing bond prevented him from doing so. There was very little Theodosia did not tell him if he asked and so there was no need to find out on his own. Using it now was only for curiosity, so she can have the experience that she seemed so excited for. He knew it was purely for knowledge sake, and so Severus let himself relax and comply with the harmless request. 

“You will feel me breaking into your mind, but I will stop the moment I sense resistance.” He explained to her, “Ready?” 

She nodded eagerly and he took in a deep breath. 

“ _ Legilimens, _ ” 

Theodosia felt as though there was an itch in the back of her thoughts and then the office and the world swept up and vanished. The entirety of her life ran before her eyes, a blur of laughter and happiness, and Theodosia’s whole existence was laid bare to Severus as he passed through her mind. 

_ “Un kit de potions!” A young Theodosia cried out happily as she tore the last of the wrapping paper away to reveal the package inside.  _

_ “Pour célébrer votre acceptation,” Her father replied, a warm smile on his lips as his mother beamed a her side, “Joyeux anniversaire, Theodosia,” _

The memory whirled away to a later one, when she was a young girl walking the halls of Hogwarts with two friends on either side. 

_ “You must be joking, Theo!” A young girl said as they walked the halls side by side, having just left the Potions classroom, “Are you sure you’re feeling well?”  _

_ Theodosia laughed, pushing away the hand that came to check the temperature of her forehead.  _

_ “I’m perfectly alright! Really, Amber, I’m being serious!” She defended cheerfully, “I’d love to come back and work for professor Snape!”  _

_ “What a grey existence that would be!” The lanky boy on her other side interjected, “Locked away in the muggy dungeons with that sour old bloke for all eternity!”  _

_ “Be nice!” Theodosia said, giving his arm a light slap, “I rather like those muggy dungeons!”  _

_ “And the sour old bloke in them!” _

The world swirled away, the memories surging aside for the sake of others. Now it was she and a man standing in a living room, the air between them tense and the sound of her sobs filling the space. 

_ “How could you not have known?!” He shouted at her, blue eyes cold as they glared into hers, “You’re 24 years old, Theodosia! Most women are well aware of the fact by now!”  _

_ “I never thought it would be an issue, so I didn’t think to get checked!” She shouted back weakly, tears falling from her eyes. They were red and swollen as though she had been crying for a very long time already.  _

_ “You knew how much I wanted children and you never once thought to make sure it was possible?!” The man exclaimed, “All these years, wasted!”  _

_ “Wasted?!” She repeated, her words breaking, “What about our relationship?! What about us?! All of those years don’t suddenly mean nothing because we can’t have children!”  _

_ “ _ **_You_ ** _ can’t have children!” He clarified, anger burning bright in his eyes, “And you’re a fool if you think I’m letting my bloodline end with me!”  _

The angry man was replaced with Remus Lupin, where he stood across from her against his desk as the pair of them talked in his classroom. 

_ “You don’t know what I’m talking about, do you?” He asked, a little surprised to see that she was rather lost in the conversation, “Has he not told you how we know each other?”  _

_ “No, he hasn’t.” She mumbled, eyes dropping down to her feet as she fought the urge to shift on them.  _

_ “Well, we-”  _

_ “I don’t want to know, professor Lupin. Not from you at least.” She firmly cut him off and turned a sharp eye to him, “If professor Snape would like to tell me on his own then I will listen, but I won’t go prying into his life. I will only know what he wants me to, and not a whisper more.”  _

_ Remus stared at her, clearly taken back by her loyal words. He said nothing for a moment, seemingly lost in his own thoughts, before finally saying, _

_ “Severus is lucky to have a friend like you.”  _

The scene rolled away, the figures of the pair fading to the Hogwarts courtyard where she and Charity strolled arm in arm. 

_ “Besides our interest in potions, we have nothing in common and yet I find myself constantly drawn to his side. Perhaps it is love, but not the romantic sort you think it is. I love Severus as I love you, Charity.”  _

_ The woman beside her beamed, a bright smile on her lips, and held her arm a little tighter. _

_ “I love you too, Theo,” She replied happily. _

And then there was Severus, and Severus alone. The few smiles she had ever had the pleasure of seeing, the fond look in his eyes that she had memorized every hue of, and nearly every time she had glanced his way all showed before them. There was dancing from both this Christmas and the one before, and he could feel the hammering of her heart as they swayed through her mind. Hundreds of images of himself passed before his eyes and he could feel in each memory the happiness she felt when he turned her way and the warmth that his company filled her heart with. 

_ “You have the chance to walk away from this, Miss. Blight,” Dumbledore said as he sat across from her in the living room of her home, the hot summer sun that peaked through the window made cooler by the lemonade they drank, “Severus will not hold it against you, and neither will I.”  _

_ She offered him a smile, small and pretty, and shook her head.  _

_ “I will not abandon Severus, especially when I know he’ll need me now more than ever.” Theodosia replied, “I don’t care what challenges I may face or the harm that will come my way, I will not be parted from him.”  _

_ Dumbledore started at her, a kind twinkle in his old eyes.  _

_ “You care greatly for him, don’t you?”  _

_ “More than I’ve ever cared for anyone before,” She replied softly, a distant look coming to her amber eyes as she turned away from the headmaster.  _

_ Dumbledore watched her silently for a moment more, how she stared out the window with a look on her face that he knew all too well. He almost looked pleased, but for some reason she couldn’t quite place if it was for her or himself. There was just an odd gleam in his eye, the look one gets when something they’ve worked on finally pays off. _

_ “Theodosia,” He said softly, “How long have you lo-”  _

“No!” 

He was pulled from her mind as quickly as he had entered it, reality rushing back far too fast and leaving the both of them breathless.

She had stood from her chair, red-faced and teary-eyed, breathing hard as she held herself tight. It took him a moment to collect himself and gain his composure again, but the moment he did Severus stood quickly from his seat as well. 

“Are you alright?” He asked the shaken women who still didn’t meet his gaze. 

“I-I just need a moment,” She replied and he instantly backed away to give her some space. 

He tried not to dwell on what he had seen, for her sake, but he couldn’t help it. There were things she hadn’t told him about before, things he hadn’t thought to ask, and then there were a few things he couldn’t quite place. With each memory had come her feelings, her sorrow and happiness and something else that he was far too scared to name. Severus wasn’t sure what to do with this information, if he should press further or simply act as though he was oblivious to it. Neither sounded like the right choice and so he could do little more but stand and wait for her to collect herself. 

Finally, after a few long and heavy moments of silence, Theodosia took in a few deep breaths and wiped at her eyes. She took a seat once again, Severus quickly doing the same, and offered him a weak smile. 

“So...that’s Legilimency,” She made an attempt at humor but it did not put him at ease. 

“I’m sorry, Theodosia,” Severus replied sincerely, “It was not my intention to pry.” 

“I know,” She said, “I’m not upset with you; I asked for this, afterall.” 

They fell silent once more, not as heavy but just as uncomfortable, until she found words to speak again. 

“I’m sorry for lying to you,” Theodosia said softly, and the words took him by surprise. 

“What are you talking about?” 

“When I told you why my fiance and I separated,” She replied, her gaze dropping down to her lap, “I did want children, I wanted them very badly, I just-” 

“Theodosia,” He called gently to her, and the soothing sound of his voice drew her eyes to him again. There was no pity in his eyes, no sadness or guilt, simply understanding. 

She hadn’t thought of it in a very long time because it hurt far too much to do so. She had loved that man so strongly and wanted nothing more than a family and happy life with him, but fate had dealt her a cruel hand. However, to her great surprise, there was nothing like that now. No ache in her heart, no biting pain in her soul- now, there was only him. 

“I thought it would hurt forever, that I would feel nothing but pain when I thought of it again, ” Theodosia said softly, “But...if things had been different, I wouldn’t be where I am now. In some odd way, I’m very grateful that my life turned out the way it did.” She raised her amber eyes to meet his dark gaze and something in his heart leapt at the look in them, “It brought me to you, Severus. And I have never felt such happiness like the kind I feel when I am at your side.” 

He couldn’t find the words to reply to her, couldn’t do much else besides be with her now. That was alright, though, because Theodosia was just glad that he was here at all. Together the pair of them sat in silence, basking in the comfort that the other’s company brought, and both of them could not help but feel as though something had changed.

It was just a spark, a brief passing of a feeling neither of them had known in so very long, but it was there. 


	32. Selfish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus knows better than to let her stay but he’s too weak a man not to.

“Theodosia,” 

It pulled the woman from her thoughts, if only slightly, and she turned her gaze from the ashes that sat in the bottom of the fireplace and to the man who stood at her side. Their trunks had been packed and collected in silence, the air between them heavy as they stood before the fireplace. The last few weeks had felt rather grey; not just because of the ending of the school year, but also the beginning of the second war that followed the battle at the Ministry of Magic. 

They had always known it would happen again, had spent the past year being aware of it and preparing themselves for the inevitable, but that didn’t make it any easier. Severus found himself more troubled with the idea of returning to his old master as he had been in the past, as now it put Theodosia at more risk than ever before. Dumbledore had tried to reassure him that there was a very good chance she would not be targeted, as it would only prove Severus’ guilt if she were to go missing, but the words did not put him at ease as he had hoped they would. 

“Everything is going to change, isn’t it?” She asked softly, uncharacteristically meek. 

“Yes,” He reluctantly confirmed, “It will.” 

Silence hung between them again for a few moments more as she dropped her gaze back to the ashes.

“There is still a chance for you to wash your hands of this,” Severus offered, no matter how much he wished to have her at his side, “As you know, I will be taking the position for the Defense Against Dark Arts professor next year and someone else will fill the role of Potions master. Your assistance is to the position I hold and not to me personally, therefore I must implore you to-” 

She reached out and slipped her hand into his own, the feeling of her fingers intertwining with his making him go silent. He turned his gaze to find her already staring up at him, a small and tired smile on her lips. Severus knew she was worried no matter how much she tried to say otherwise, he could see it in the way she stared off into nothing and the furrow that would randomly come to her brow in the last few weeks. Though she tried her hardest to remain the optimistic of the two even she was not immune to the horrors that faced them. Despite this, however, she gave his hand a small squeeze. 

Perhaps it was selfish of him to accept her, to let her step away from the art she so adored for the sake of following him, but Severus could not find it in himself to deny her. At least this way he would be able to keep a closer eye on her and having her in his sight at all times would help to keep his head on his shoulders, if only a little. She was one of the very few things that comforted him in all the world and he was relieved that she would stay in arms reach. Yes, perhaps selfish is the word he would use to describe the way he gave her hand a soft squeeze in return and offered her the floo powder, but he was too weak a man to say anything otherwise. 

“Until we meet again,” She said, a small smile on her lips as she stood in the expanded fireplace, “Goodbye, Severus,” 

“Goodbye, Theodosia.” 

When she was gone in a flurry of powder and flames, Severus did not immediately follow. Instead he took a seat in his chair and tried his hardest to collect himself, and to think of all the things he could do to keep her safe. 


	33. Summer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bottle of strawberry wine is tucked into the crook of his arm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is much appreciated!

He wasn’t quite sure what he had been expecting, but when he arrived Severus couldn’t think of anything more suitable. 

Apparition had brought him to stand before a dirt path at the bottom of a hill, the clearing he stood in filled to the brim with wildflowers of all kinds and colors. Trees lined the path before him, growing denser the farther to the top it got, and there he could see the little stone cottage that sat so prettily. It looked like something out of a fairy tale, with its blackberry bushes and wooden fence, and Severus couldn’t think of any home that would better suit his friend. 

The sun beat hot on his back, and he was very glad for having forgone the black cape and jacket of his usual attire, the thin white shirt and black pants he wore not quite as cooling as they could have been but still far better than the alternative. He wiped at the sweat that had begun to dot his brow, held the bottle a little more firmly in his arm, before he began his ascent to the little stone home at the top of the hill. 

Genevieve sat on a corner post of the wood fence, her eyes focused on her owner as she tended to the garden at the side of the house. The little black owl turned her head to watch Severus as he came up the path, and when he was close enough she cried out with a fluttering of her wings. 

“What is it, Gen?” Theodosia mused as she stood up straight from where she had been bent over tending to the tomatoes, “Another mouse?” 

It occurred to him then that he had never seen her outside of the usual sapphire and silver robes she wore during the school year (save for Halloween and the Yule ball, but those hardly counted) and the closer he got to the fence, the clearer the image of her became. A wide rim hat sat atop of her honey colored curls, shading her from the sun that peaked through the opening in the trees where her home sat. The summer had put more freckles on her cheeks and the top of her shoulders, as he could see from the violet sundress she wore as she tended to the garden. She was barefoot, with dirt smudged here and there and the light coat of sweat on her skin making the caramel tones glisten, and Severus could not for the life of him think of a more beautiful sight as she turned her sparkling eyes to meet him. 

At the sight of him she paused for a moment, surprised more than anything, and he almost felt as though he shouldn’t have come at all. He was sure he looked a bit of a mess with the sweat on his face but he held up the bottle in his hand anyway and offered her what he hoped was a pleasant smile. 

“To celebrate,” 

And it made Theodosia smile like the summer, bright and beautiful and full of life. Even beneath the shade of her hat and the few feet between them, he could see the joy on her face and the few tears that always came to her eyes in his rare moments of tenderness. She wasted no time in setting her tools aside and going to open the gate for him, and when it was finally opened Theodosia threw her arms around him despite the summer heat. Severus did not mind, and he held her just as tightly as she held him. 


	34. Vow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theodosia notices something Severus would rather keep hidden.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is much appreciated!

“Did you hurt your hand?” Theodosia asked suddenly, her eyes glued to the faint red scars across his flesh. She had only noticed them now, as he reached for his wine glass, and could not ignore them. 

“I became distracted while cutting ingredients,” Severus replied cooly, not meeting her curious gaze as he took a drink. 

“You are known for many things, but certainly not clumsiness.” She replied, obviously not buying his words, “Let me take a look,” 

Theodosia reached out for him but he swiftly moved his hand away from her, the motion as smooth as it was suspicious. 

“I’d rather you didn’t,” Severus said sharply, turning his dark eyes to bore into hers the way he always did when he didn’t want her to press further on a topic. 

It would have been foolish to believe that Severus never kept things from her, seeing as though his whole world was built around the task of spinning elaborate webs of lies, but to be so blatantly faced with the fact put a weight on her heart. Severus knew she could see right through his lie, that was very clear in the frown on his lips, but he did nothing to remedy it. Instead he turned his attention back to the feast before them, leaving Theodosia to navigate the rising tides in her mind. 

She had finished her schooling years at the top of her class, proving herself worthy of the Ravenclaw title she had earned. Her quick wit and sharp cunning were not the only reasons she had been placed in the house, but also for her love of knowledge just for knowledge’s sake. Theodosia made it a point to learn a little of everything she could get her hands on, establishing a sturdy understanding of a great many topics. She had always prided herself on just how many things she had set out to learn.

One such thing had been something she had stumbled upon when she was a sixth year, one of many long nights spent in the library, in a book tucked into a dark corner. She could still clearly remember the font of the words that read ‘Chapter 10: Unbreakable Vows’ and the inked drawing of interlocked hands beneath them. 

She did not say another word through the rest of the feast, not even as Dumbledore announced Severus’ new position. Severus offered no relief to the situation, and so left her with the painful curiosity of just what he had promised and to who. 


	35. Cologne

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theodosia smells something she recognizes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is much appreciated!

“Ah, Miss. Blight! What wonderful timing! Why don’t you step forward for a moment?” 

She had only come in to grab something from the back of the classroom, thinking she’d be able to slip in and out without even being noticed, but the entirety of the class was gathered at the front of the room. The table before them was filled with various cauldrons, and when she came closer she recognized them as being Felix Felcius, Polyjuice Potion, and Amortentia. 

“Why don’t you share with us what you smell, Miss. Blight?” Slughorn asked, gesturing to the pearlescent potion in one of the cauldrons, “Pay close attention, children!”

“Oh, it’s been years since I’ve done this,” She laughed in good spirits, but stepped forward as the class of sixth year Hufflepuffs watched her. 

She hung her head over the bubbling potion, closed her eyes, and took in a deep breath. There were a few things she instantly recognized, some tied to specific places she knew well and others more abstract. It was an odd blend, contradictory in many ways. There was sweetness but also tartness, warm and cold smells alike- quite different from the last time she had smelled this potion. 

“It smells a little like old books and blackberries, but it’s also...bitter, in an odd way. I believe there's a hint of sage in there as well.”

“Very good!” Slughorn beamed, a pleased look on his wrinkled face as he turned back to his students, “You’ll notice that Miss. Blight’s answer was different from young Mr. Laird’s! This is because Amortentia smells different to everyone, reminding each of us of the things we are most attracted to!” 

“But don’t think that it means it smells only like the person you love,” Theodosia added, and Slughorn nodded in agreement, “That’s a common misconception, that it smells solely like your significant other.” 

“But it does a little, doesn’t it?” A blushing girl asked, her eyes wide with curiosity, “What part of yours smells like the one you love, Miss. Blight?” 

“I-” She stopped herself, her brow coming to a knot, “I’m not entirely sure, Miss. Levin.” 

“Well-” 

“I’m sure Miss. Blight has more important matters to tend to than our curiosity!” Professor Slughorn pleasantly interrupted before another student could press further, “Let’s thank her for her help and let her be on her way.”

The students did just that, chiming up with their thanks, and she was free to return to her own matters as Slughorn resumed the lesson.

The young girl’s question did not leave her mind as quickly as she would have liked, instead lingering about as Theodosia returned to the Defense Against Dark Arts classroom with the item she had gone to acquire in the first place. She was able to identify most of the scents the potion had presented to her: blackberries for the home she had and loved, old books for the love of having them within her hands as she eagerly read the knowledge they offered her, but the bitterness and sage were smells she could not quite place. She had always been partial to sweets and most of her fondest memories of some sort of food was a dessert or delicacy, so bitter sage did not immediately stand out in her mind. It was an odd thought, to say the least, one that bounced around her mind until she reached the classroom. 

“I was afraid you had gotten lost, given the unreasonable amount of time you were gone.”

Severus’ voice pulled her from her thoughts, deep and rumbling in the ways it always was, laced now with just the faintest hints of amusement. It put her at ease almost instantly, the knot in her brow vanishing as a small smile came to her lips. He was standing behind his desk sorting through the parchment littered across it and he paid her little more than a glance as she came around the desk to stand at his side. 

She was about to reply with a teasing remark of her own but before the words left her lips, something made her pause. It was a smell, subtle but stronger the more she leaned towards him, and Severus peered down at her with a raised brow as she took a step closer and inhaled deeply. 

“Has your mind finally failed you?” He questioned, but Theodosia said little as her gaze flickered up to meet his own. 

Her amber eyes were bright with a sudden joy, very nearly sparkling despite the dim lights of the classroom. The smile on her lips was wide and beautiful, the one that always made him stare, and it did not falter for even a moment as she spoke. 

“Have you always worn this cologne, Severus?” She asked suddenly, the tone of her words light and jolly as though she had just made the most wonderful discovery in all the world. 

“I have.” 

His response made her laugh, soft and airy, and he could not think to question it right then as she stepped forward and simply leaned against him, her head resting gently on his shoulder. With the parchment long since forgotten, Severus hesitated for just a moment as he laid a hand on the small of her back, a notion that drew a content little sigh from her. 

“It smells wonderful.” 

There was an odd tenderness to her words, one he had not expected to hear following such a strange question. Part of him wanted to draw away from her and make sure she was feeling well, that Slughorn hadn’t done anything to upset her with his poorly-aged manners, but it felt too nice to have her so close that Severus could not find it in himself to push her away just yet.

They stood there in a strange and pleasant silence, Severus with a small smile and Theodosia with a wonderful realization. 


	36. Draco

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theodosia offers Draco Malfoy what little comfort she can.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters to celebrate the holiday! 
> 
> Feedback is much appreciated!

She could never recall seeing Draco Malfoy look quite as tired as he did now. He sat with his head bowed over his parchment, scribbling away with pursed lips. The circles under his eyes seemed to darken by the day and his already sharp features looked more spindly than they did handsome. It was a strange thing indeed, to see a boy who usually oozed ease and confidence look so small now. She had watched him grow over the years, had spent a great deal of time around him both inside the classroom and as the assistant to his head of house, and so she had on good authority to know that something was very wrong. 

Severus excused himself from the classroom and made a swift exit, leaving the two of them alone to continue to carry out the detention. She would have been content to let the silence linger on, had it not been for the weary way Draco’s eyes watched him leave the room. 

“Mr. Malfoy?” She called from the front of the room, and his tired gaze shifted to her. 

“Yes ma’am?” 

“If you don’t mind my asking...are you alright?” 

He blinked at her, silver eyes troubled and a frown tugging at his lips. 

“Of course.” 

Despite his answer, she could see that he did not mean it. Theodosia set her quill aside and made her way through the classroom before coming to lean against a desk a little ways in front of him. There was no judgement in her eyes, no annoyance or mistrust, simply concern in its purest form. 

“You and I both know that’s not true.” 

“My grades haven’t suffered,” He sighed, “So there’s no need for your concern, Miss. Blight.” 

“Oh, I couldn’t care less about your grades,” She replied honestly with a bat of her hand, “But nowadays you sigh more than a troubled poet. Why is that, Mr. Malfoy?” 

His eyes dropped down to the parchment before him, to the word he had rewritten thrice already and the few drops of ink that had splattered across the page. Draco’s hands sat clenched tightly in his lap, his knuckles nearly white, but he did not say a word. When no reply came, Theodosia was not disturbed. 

“I will not force anything from you,” She reassured him, then added kindly, “But should you ever need to talk, know that I will listen.” 

Theodosia made a move to push herself off of the desk but just as she did so, he finally spoke out. 

“Miss. Blight do you...do you ever feel like you’re doing the wrong thing?” 

She turned back to him, a knot in her brow, “How so?” 

“You’re very close to Snape so I think it would be safe to say that you and I both know  _ certain things. _ ” 

Theodosia frowned at his words, but did not deny them. It was unfortunate to learn that even young Draco had been burdened with the weight of darkness, but given his family’s reputation, she was not surprised. Severus had told her about Lucius and his involvement with the Dark Lord, so it was more disappointing than shocking to learn that his son had been steered onto a similar path. 

“I’m sorry to say that you’re correct,” She replied, a bittersweet smile on her lips.

Draco stared at that smile for just a moment and for the first time since the start of the year he looked something other than terribly exhausted. Of course it still lingered on his face but now there was something else there, something that she dared to call distress. 

“You probably don’t want to disappoint him, or fail to protect him, or even be without him. That’s why you’ve stayed this long, why you’ve done everything you have, isn’t it?” Theodosia gave a slow and puzzled nod, and he went on, “Despite the way you feel do you ever think that maybe...maybe all of that isn’t worth it? That you’ve given too much of yourself and what you think is right to not fail those you care about?” 

She had never known Draco to be an especially insightful person, but perhaps that was one of the side-effects of unhappiness. Theodosia could hardly see the same boy he had been in the past, with his cocky smirk and taunting eyes; the troubled and miserable young man before her stained that image. It made her heart ache the same way it had for Cederic. Draco was not lost to the world but he was to himself, and that was nearly just as bad. 

“It has crossed my mind,” Theodosia said softly, her gaze shifting to the sky beyond the classroom window, “That in caring for Severus I betray my morals and my blood. Any sane person wouldn’t have even taken the position in the first place given his dark history but the older I get the more I realize that I am far more loyal to other people than I will ever be to myself. It has caused me a great deal of pain, I will not deny that. It is never easy to care for someone, Draco, especially when that someone is simply...not a good person.” 

She had come to the conclusion hardly a year ago that despite his kindness towards her, Severus Snape was not a good man. In the past she had adamantly defended the idea of Severus simply being a product of the poor environment he was in, but the more time that passed the more the rose tint on her glasses began to fade. While, yes, he had been treated cruelly by life, it did not completely excuse the choices he made and the way he treated others. Though kind and content with her, he still treated children and other adults cruelly even after the fall of the Dark Lord. Theodosia had been so blinded by her desire to befriend him that she had neglected these facts, but it was too late to address them now. 

“I realized far too late the true demons that come with staying by his side, and my morality is the price I pay for that oversight,” She admitted melancholically, but then something in her amber eyes shifted, turning a little harder as she looked back to Draco, “It seems you’ve come to a similar realization, but that does not mean you must face a similar fate. The fact that you feel conflicted at all means that's there still a chance for you to do what you know is right, that you haven't been consumed entirely by love’s obligations.When the time comes, Draco, I’m certain you’ll make the right choice.” 

Her words seemed to put him at ease, if only a little, and the look in his silver eyes softened to something akin to relief. She may have been the only person in the world to reassure him of this, to tell him that there was still hope for him after all , and she could see that in the way his eyes grew a little glassy. He was silent for a moment, basking in the first signs of relief he felt in so long, and Theodosia was all too willing to let him do so. Draco deserved this reassurance, no matter how short lived it may be. 

Soon Draco met her eyes again, his relief having made him more at ease with her, which is why he allowed himself to voice his sudden and faint concern. 

“Do you feel conflicted, Miss. Blight?” He asked, more for curiosity than judgement. 

She smiled a bittersweet smile, one filled with just as much tenderness as it did hopelessness.

“No, I don’t,” Theodosia admitted softly and it was all she needed to say. 

Draco had never seen the appeal in Theodosia Blight. Students and staff alike seemed to adore the woman, with her sunny disposition and good manners, but he didn’t share a similar fondness. He had associated her cheerfulness with naivety and her kindness with weakness, seeing her as more a pet than an actual asset. Her blood status did not help either, and so Draco had been relatively unimpressed and uninterested in Theodosia in his years at Hogwarts. 

Now, though, it felt as though he was finally seeing her as everyone else did. What he had mistaken for stupidity was actually loyalty and the traits he had once disliked he now considered to be rather comforting. She was not the ditzy little tagalone he had once thought her to be, instead an alarmingly loyal woman who willingly carried the weight of the world on her shoulders for the sake of staying with the one she loved. Draco regretted not finding comfort in her earlier, but he was very grateful for it now.

Detention came to an end and Draco collected his things, Theodosia returning to the front of the classroom, and the young man very nearly left without another word. However, he stopped at the door and looked back to her, to the woman who had given too much, and said the only thing he could think to say. 

“I hope you live, Miss. Blight.” 

The words instantly drew her attention and she could only keep his gaze for a single moment of startled silence before he was gone. 

When Severus returned to the classroom some time later he found Theodosia sitting in his chair, her face buried into her hands as she wept. She didn’t tell him the cause for these tears, but she did let him hold her tightly in his arms and do what he could to sooth her. 

Despite the comfort his embrace brought, it made her cry harder. 


	37. Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus and Theodosia spend Christmas in her home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is much appreciated! 
> 
> Have a Merry Christmas and happy holiday season!

She sprang up from her seat, very nearly losing her footing thanks to the empty glass in her hand, and Severus reached out to steady her but she swayed away from his grasp.

“I’m not that drunk, you know,” Theodosia mused, setting her glass on the side table before making her way to the standing record player in the corner of the room. 

“You could have fooled me.” 

Severus watched her as she thumbed through records, nursing his own glass of whiskey in his hand as he enjoyed the warmth of the fire before them. Outside the snow fell in flurys to the powdered ground, the sky bright and the world made just a little more jolly at the sight of such a white Christmas.

The record player cracked to life, and soon the cozy stone cottage was filled with the velvety vocals of Frank Sanatra wishing them a merry little Christmas. Theodosia turned to him, a sparkle in her amber eyes that she had every holiday as she came closer and held her hands out for him to take. 

“Dance with me, Severus.”

Severus did not think twice to set his glass aside and take her hands, allowing himself to be pulled up to stand before the fire. She kept one of her hands in his own and let the other rest on his shoulder as his own free hand came to rest on her waist. Slowly, they began to sway just as they had every Christmas for the last three years. It was a lazy dance, little more than the shifting of feet, but it was more than enough for the both of them. Theodosia rested her head against his chest and he let his chin sit on top of it. Together they swayed to the pretty music, feeling more content now than they had been this whole year. 

“You’ll stay until New Years, won’t you?” She sighed against him, and Severus let a small smile come to his lips. 

“I’ve been here nearly a week already.” 

“And you’ve enjoyed every moment of it,” Theodosia smiled softly. 

“I don’t want to overstay my welcome.” It was more of a comment than a complaint. 

“I don’t mind at all,” She replied pleasantly, “You’re always welcome in my home, Severus. Surely you know that by now.” 

“Then I suppose another week won’t do any harm.” 

They fell quiet again, the music still carrying on around them, and continued to sway slowly in the middle of the small living room. Christmas had taken a new form in these years, one that didn’t involve presents or jolly festivities. To the pair of them, Christmas had become this: these moments before a warm fire with the snowy world carrying on all on its own. There seemed to be no threat of danger here in Blackberry Grove, just two very good friends and the special bond they shared. It was one of few nights of the year in which there was no work to be done, no evils to be vanquished; there was simply each other and that was enough. 

“When this war is over, we should go away. Just you and I.” She said softly and he gave a deep hum in return. 

They didn’t often talk about  _ afterwards _ , mostly just what was needed to live  _ now _ . It occurred to him then that he had never given much thought to what would happen once the war was over; perhaps that was because he could not always imagine that he would live to see the end of it. His role was too risky to make concrete plans for a future, as any moment the Dark Lord could hear just the wrong thing and his life would be over. Severus had been far too focused on now to ever entertain later. 

It put a weight in his heart, to think that he should die and leave Theodosia on her own- or worse,  _ Theodosia  _ should die and he would be forced to go on without her, deprived of happiness for the second time in his too-long life. The thought made his heart ache and his mind cloud with premature pain, and he could not help but have to hold her a little closer for reassurance. She was at just as much risk as he was, if not more given her muggleborn status and reluctance to join the Dark Lord. It was by the grace of some divine God that Severus had been given the chances to keep her safe within the walls of the castle, an opportunity he loathed to think would cease to exist. If something were to happen to her and Severus lived when she did not, he knew very well that he would not have the strength needed to go on. 

Should Theodosia perish, Severus would shortly follow- one way or another. 

He tried not to think much more about that now for the sake of the woman who swayed in his arms and the merry holiday that surrounded them. It was their first Christmas in her home and though he dreaded to admit it, quite possibly their last Christmas together for a very long time. Severus was all too aware of the fact that their days were numbered, diminishing far too fast for comfort, and so he tried to preserve what would be a last fond memory before he had to carry out the promise he made at the beginning of the semester. For now he would push those thoughts aside and entertain her, talk of a future they could very well never have. 

“Where would we go?” He asked softly, closing his eyes as the sweet sound of her voice vibrated against his chest. 

“Anywhere we want,” Thedosia replied warmly, watching the fire as they swayed, “We could try the Americas; they’re horribly annoying but I hear they can be quite fun.” 

“No where has ever interested me less.” 

She let out a laugh, soft and beautiful, and he gave a content sigh at the sound of it. 

“Somewhere else, then,” She said, clearly amused, “We could go to Provence, where my family is from in France.” 

“Go on.” 

“There are little villages in the hillside where it’s quiet and clear, and the sun is so pretty in the mornings it could almost taste like honey,” Theodosia continued warmly, glad that he seemed to like this option, “It’s not too terribly far from the sea, so we would always hear the water in the distance, maybe walk along the shore if we so wanted to.” 

It was a beautiful picture: this life she painted for them. He imagined behind closed eyes what it could be like to sit on a balcony overlooking the French shores, a cup of tea in his hand with Theodosia at his side. She would look for shells beside the sea and he would be content to merely watch, not bothering to contain his fondness for her when she brought them back to show him. He would take her hand into his own and they would walk until another pretty thing caught her eye. 

“And there are lavender fields, too,” She said, softer this time, “That stretch as far as the eye can see. The color is so brilliant it makes the sky seem purple at times, especially when the sun is about to set.” 

Severus pictured her in the warm glow of a dying sun, her caramel skin radiant with the rays and her smile brilliant before a purple sky. He would take her face into his hands and press his lips to each and every freckle, and her laughter would make the lavender bloom brighter. 

He pulled away from her just slightly and she lifted her head to meet his eyes. There was a tenderness to his gaze, more lovely than any look she had seen before and carrying the weight of unspoken words in every hue. Severus could see it in her eyes well, a warmth that sent a line of fire straight to his heart. There was so little space between them now, her chest pressed to his as they just barely swayed to the smooth music. 

“How long would we stay?” He asked, barely above a whisper, and she was so close that she could feel the heat of his words brush across her lips. 

“Forever, if you’d like,” She breathed softly, “So long as I am at your side, I care for nothing else.” 

She feared he could feel the hammering of her heart against him as his dark eyes flickered down from her eyes, but his gaze went straight to the fullness of her parted lips before returning to brilliant amber. They came to a slow stop as the song died out, now just standing before the warm fireplace as their gazes burned into each other. He knew she felt what he did in that moment, as though their hearts were being tugged forward and towards each other, and he dared to move a shaky hand from her waist to rest on her freckled cheek. A soft and shaky breath left her parted lips, and he had half the mind to withdraw his burning touch but the feel of her leaning into it kept him in place. 

Theodoisa closed her eyes a moment before he did and rose just slightly on her toes as he bowed his head down to her. His breath came hot across her lips, hers doing the same, and the distance between them was closing in until- 

The song changed, and the bells at the beginning of  _ It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas  _ blared so loudly that it made Theodosia jump, Severus nearly doing the same. The magic of the moment was broken as the choir of the song began, and Severus stepped away quickly as Theodosia’s face burned up to her ears. 

“I’m sorry,” She apologized quickly, stepping around him to the record player so she could turn the music down. 

“It’s alright,” Severus said with a clearing of his throat, trying his very hardest to collect himself. 

She turned back to him, flustered and already missing the moment they had shared, but the spell was broken. Severus offered her an awkward smile, one she forced herself to return, then he returned to his seat before the fire and processed to pour them both a very full glass of whiskey. 

Theodosia took her seat with a frown pulling at her lips and took the glass offered to her with barely contained distress. He seemed to be equally as frustrated with the turn of events but neither of them had the courage to address it just yet. Together they sat for a while, the dreaded song still lingering in the background, and watched the fire crackle in the fireplace. 

Severus looked to her, to the frown on her full lips and forlorn look in her eye, and could not help but feel as though their holiday would be wasted if they sat in this silence a moment longer. Maybe it was because of the horrors that lurked around the corner, or the affection that still made his heart race, or even the thought of walking along the shore with her hand in his- but Severus set his glass aside after a little while of silence and reached out, lightly brushing his fingers across her cheek from the other side of the small table between their chairs. The touch drew her widened eyes to him, and she turned her face into his hand to take in the beautiful sight of his fond gaze in the warm fire light. 

“You’re the most important person in my life, Theodosia,” He spoke to her, softly and full of tender affection, “I hope you know that.” 

She breathed out, soft and watery as tears glistened in her eyes, and Theodosia laid her hand over his own.

“And you’re mine,” She said, and basked in the sight of the small, adoring smile that spread on his lips. 

It was not a kiss, nor was it a confession, but it was enough. 


	38. Reality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theodosia can no longer ignore what the future holds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is much appreciated!

“Well, someone had a wonderful holiday,” Charity remarked as Theodosia shut the classroom door behind her, “You’re practically glowing,” 

“Severus stayed with me nearly the entire time,” The assistant replied dreamily, a pretty smile on her full lips, “Oh, Charity, it was wonderful.”

“I’d say,” Her friend laughed softly in return, setting aside the last of the parchment in her hands, “You haven’t looked this enamoured since that Russian bloke a few years back,” 

“This isn’t anything like that,” Theodoisa replied, standing before the desk where Charity had her lesson plans for the new semester sprawled out, “This is different! It’s not just a passing fancy, it’s-it’s-” 

“Love.” Charity finished for her, and the smile that spread on her friend’s lips was beautiful, “I’m happy for you, Theo.” 

Despite her words, there was something just a little off in them, something about her smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. Very rarely was Charity anything less than ecstatic when it came to developments in Theodosia’s happiness, and to see the strange weariness on her face made her falter. Theodosia’s mood dulled to something less excited as Charity turned away from her and tried to seem interested in the parchment. 

“Is something wrong?” She asked, the happy smile fading to an uneasy frown. 

Charity glanced up, meeting her eyes for only a moment before looking away again. When Theodosia’s gaze didn’t waver, she let out a small and nearly sad sigh. 

“I just wish it had been, well, any other time,” Her friend replied, uncharacteristically sullen, “As thrilled as I am for you, I just don’t know if anything will come of it now.” 

“I...I don’t understand.” 

“You’re a smart girl, Theo,” Charity replied, a troubled look in her eyes as she stared down at the parchment before her with unusual dread, “You should know better than anyone how bleak the future looks, especially for Severus.” 

She had tried not to think of it, in all honesty. She had pushed the dark clouds into the back of her mind and tried to focus on the positives: Severus had gotten the job he had always wanted, she was able to stay with him, they had spent a wonderful holiday together, she was certain her affections were returned. Theodosia had tried very hard to not think about what waited for them at the end of the year, what dark horrors loomed closer each and every day. She could see it in Severus’ dark eyes, that forlorned look in them every time he gazed at her, as though he was trying to memorize her face while he still could. The halls of Hogwarts felt more tense than she could ever remember them being, less filled with happy chatter and more with stiff conversation. She realized then that even Charity, in all of her romantic happiness, had fallen a little quiet this year. Try as she might, she was not oblivious to the smell of the storm on the wind and the knowledge that something horrible was brewing. 

Something about the look in her friend’s eyes right then, a look as though she had to force herself to be happy for her, made Theodosia feel as though all of the horrors of the world came rushing at her at once. She reached out a shaky hand and steadied herself against the desk, as though the realization had knocked her off balance. 

“I’m sorry,” Charity sighed softly, and only then did the assistant notice how tired she looked, “I am happy for you, really, but there are more important things than love right now.” 

There were, weren’t there? Things like the scars on Severus’ hand, like the weariness that withered away Draco Malfoy, like the darkness that hung on every moment of happiness. She had tried so hard for the first semester to go on as usual, to pretend as though nothing really had or really would change but as she stared at Charity now, Theodoisia realized that everything had changed anyway. No matter how lovely the holiday may have been or how wonderful it was to realize that Severus may very well care for her in the ways she cared for him, all of that felt so unimportant in comparison to the war that waged on outside of the castle walls. It made her feel incredibly selfish to have the luxury of being able to force naivety when people were dying all over the country at the hands of the revived Dark Lord. 

“I-I’m so sorry,” Theodosia breathed out after a moment, “I hadn’t even thought-I just,” 

“I know,” Charity reassured her, placing her hand over hers gently, “That’s the cruelest part about love, I think, that it makes even the worst of times seem like the best.” 

Theodosia fell silent at the words, her amber eyes dull as she gazed down to the pair of their hands together. She tried to think of something to say, something that wouldn’t make her look as foolish as she felt, but nothing came to mind. Charity sighed like a woman who had lived a thousand lifetimes before pulling her hand away and together they sat in a stale silence, the happiness Theodosia entered the room with all but faded. 


	39. Always

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus admits to Dumbledore what he has finally admitted to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is much appreciated!

“So when the time comes, the boy must die?” 

“Yes,” Dumbledore admitted softly, almost regrettably, “Yes. The boy must die.” 

There was a cold silence between them, Severus’ dark and wide eyes set on the headmaster who stood before him. The words seemed to need an extra moment to sink in as he thought back on the years spent keeping Harry Potter safe, doing everything he had done for the sake of making sure he stayed alive- for  _ this _ . Rarely was Severus made aware of the fact that Dumbldore was just as prone to cruelty as the rest of humanity, so to be reminded of it now nearly took his faith entirely. To think that all they had done, all  _ he  _ had done, was not to protect the boy from death but rather postpone his meeting with it- Severus felt used, as though years of his life were being tossed away right before his very eyes. 

“You’ve kept him alive so he could die at the proper moment,” Severus said, the realization dawning further on him with every slow word, “You’ve been raising him like a pig for slaughter.” 

Dumbledore gazed at him curiously, his usually sparkling eyes dark with the weight of this moment. 

“Don’t tell me you’ve come to care for the boy?” He asked in disbelief, and watched the way Severus’s face twisted. 

“ _ For him?”  _ He all but shouted, “Don’t be foolish, Albus!” 

“His mother: Lily, then,” Dumbledore replied, his mind already seeming to be made. 

Severus’ lips pressed into a thin line, his fierce gaze dampening to something more melancholy as he looked away from his friend. For a moment he considered the name, lingered on the happiness and pain that came with it, but Severus did not seem as moved by the thought of her as Dumbledore had assumed he would be. Instead he looked as though he had come to terms with something, as though he had let a precious thing go and was now watching it move further and further from him. 

“Maybe it was for her, once.” Severus admitted softly, distant eyes focused on the dark night beyond the window. 

“Why then, Severus?” Dumbledore asked ardently, taking a step forward, “Why else should you have fought for so long, why else would you care now?” 

“Because I have long since stopped fighting for the past and the ghosts that haunt it,” Severus replied with a passion his old friend had never heard before, “I fight for a future only possible if we win, with someone who I am certain loves me, Albus, someone who has proven time and again that she will love me until the very end.” 

“Theodosia,” Dumbledore breathed softly, the realization finally dawning on him. 

“ _ Theodosia _ ,” Severus confirmed, a fire in his dark gaze. 

In the back of his mind, Dumbledore was relieved.

“And you, Severus?” Albus asked softly, hopefully, “Will you love her?” 

The question made him think of freckled cheeks and a holiday passed, and his lips still burned from the memory of her hot breath against them. Severus knew very well from the feeling that flared in his heart that he hadn’t a single doubt about his devotion. At one point he had feared his heart was still held by one who had long since left him, but the moment in Theodosia’s home had finally convinced him fully that he was no longer bound to a love he never had. 

Everything he did from this moment on, every decision he made and battle he fought would be for her, for Provence. Even if they should be parted, even if Harry Potter should fail, Severus would never stop fighting for Theodosia and a chance to live happily with her until the end of their days. In that moment he thought of shells buried in sand and lavender fields as far as the eye could see, and Severus knew that he was hers entirely. 

Severus smiled a small and tender smile, more to himself than his company, and tears glittered in his dark eyes as he looked again to the headmaster before him. 

“ _ Always _ .” 


	40. Fondly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hermione gets to say goodbye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is much appreciated!

“Miss. Blight?” 

The woman did not turn at her words or spare her even the slightest shifts of her gaze. The only movement that came from her was the wind that rustled her hair and fluttered her robes. Hermione waited a moment longer in case she did speak or show even the smallest signs of acknowledgement and when none came the girl very nearly left her be. Had the sight before her not been so hauntingly melancholic, she would have given her peace. 

The assistant did not turn to her even when she stepped forward and came to her side, and the new angle gave Hermione a better view of the state of Theodosia. There was blood soaking the sleeves of her robes and bath water drenching the bottoms of it but none of this seemed to bother the woman. Instead the look in her eyes was very unlike discomfort and unfortunately more similar to sorrow. 

For a while they sat there in silence with little more than the breeze to make a sound between them. The night was cool and bright, the moon overhead illuminating the world just enough. No matter how peaceful the top of the tower may have seemed, with it’s view of sparkling water and rolling hills, there was something in the air that was undoubtedly somber. It was not the woman alone but rather the world feeling as it had these past few weeks, as though everything within it was drawing to some horrible close. No one was immune to the dread in the air, not even Theodosia Blight.

“Are you hurt?” Hermione asked, her eyes on the blood that made her sapphire robes seem brown. 

“Not physically, no.” Theodosia replied, hardly above a whisper, then fell silent again.

The words made the student frown, search her face once more for something other than just blank sadness, before she looked out to the sea. The world between them fell quiet again and with it came a breeze that felt just a little cooler. Hermione had only meant to go out for a moment, throwing on a robe over her sleeping clothes and a pair of thin slippers, but seeing Theodosia in the hall leaving a wet trail behind her had changed her course of direction. She would have left it alone had it not been for the blood on her sleeves. 

“I always thought there would be far less to cry about when I got older,” Theodosia remarked weakly and when Hermione turned back to her she saw tears already being wiped away, “I’m rather tired of crying.” 

“There’s always something to cry about, it seems.” 

“Like silly boys?” The woman replied in good, but tired, nature, and Hermione did not reject her attempts at lightening the mood. 

“Yes,” Hermione said with a small, bashful smile, “Like silly boys.” 

That finally brought a smile to the assistant’s lips, no matter how weak it may be. It broke the ice of the night and for a moment she looked herself. Theodosia wiped again at the few tears that trickled from her eyes and looked to Hermione. 

“Love may not come at the right times but it is always needed whenever it’s there.” She said, perhaps more to herself than the girl, “You’ll need it for what is ahead of you, ahead of all of us. But you’re a courageous girl, Hermione, you always have been. I’m so proud of everything you’ve become.” 

The words, though sweet and kind, brought tears of her own to Hermione’s eyes. She could hear the sadness that lingered on the end of them despite the smile on Theodosia’s lips. It made a fear bubble in her heart, one that always came when something painful was near. 

“Why does this feel like goodbye, Miss. Blight?” 

“Because I have a horrible feeling that it is.” The woman admitted, trying to offer her a smile, “Severus has grown restless and seems to be getting his affairs in order. It shouldn’t be very long now before whatever must happen, happens. When it does, I’m sorry to say that we will not be fighting on the same side.” 

“Which side are you on?” She asked after a moment of silence but she already knew the answer.

“His.” The woman replied simply and Hermione did not need any further clarification. 

“It isn’t too late.” Hermione tried to reason, “You’re already a member of the Order, you could be a great help to us. With your knowledge and skill set-” 

“Thank you, Hermione,” Theodosia cut her off and the sound of her name being said by her for the first time silenced her instantly, “But no.” 

Hermione could only stare at her, at amber eyes that had dulled rapidly over the weeks and tired lines that had begun to set in her face. It was the first time she had started to look her age of 31 in all the years Hermione had known her. Her sunny demeanor and unconditional kindness always reminded her of a younger girl with all her youth about her, but in the bright moonlight every year of her life shown in her tired eyes. Even her smile, though still pretty, was now one of someone who tasted every wasted moment on their tongue. 

“For what it's worth,” The girl said through a tight throat, letting tears fill her eyes nearly to the brim, “I’ve always thought of you fondly and no matter what you choose, I think I always will.” 

“Thank you.” She said, softly, and the broken words nearly brought a sob from the student’s lips. 

The girl turned to leave the tower, having said all she could during the last time she could say it, but before she left completely the assistant called out to her again. 

“Wait,” Theodosia said, unfastening her robes to reach inside and untie something from her waist, “There’s something I’d like you to have.” 

From the sapphire robes she pulled out a small beaded handbag, one that looked a little worn but still rather pretty in the moonlight. She offered it to the girl, who stepped forward to take it from her hands.

“I’m sure you’ll get a better use for it than I ever did.” Theodosia said, offering her a small smile, “It was my mother’s, and then mine, and since I will never have a daughter of my own, it’s now yours. If we should never meet like this again, I would like to help you one last time.” 

The tears in the girl’s eyes finally fell as she stared down into the bottomless bag, her hands trembling just slightly. A part of her did want to be upset at the whole thing, to try again to convince her that she didn’t have to damn herself for love’s sake and that she could still do what was right. The Order would be skeptical but they would accept her, especially after having betrayed Snape to do so; Hermione would vouch for her as well, do what she could to pay back the years of kindness and guidance. It would be so easy for Theodosia Blight to turn her back on the professor and do the right thing, but she was known for nothing if not her loyalty to him. 

In her logical mind, feelings and naivety of her age aside, Hermione hoped that she would never love someone so entirely to the point of giving herself up for them. Though her actions could be viewed as romantic, Hermione recognized for not the first time that Theodosia’s bond with Snape was not a completely healthy one. But if morality and fear could not break it, the girl stood no chance.

She did the only thing she could think to do and stepped forward to hug Theodosia in a tight embrace. The woman did not hesitate to return it and held the girl close, enjoying a last moment of comfort before the storm came overhead. 


	41. Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! Lots of comments on the last chapter- thank you for that! 
> 
> Feedback is much appreciated!

The sound of the office door opening made him pause, the rustling of the parchment on his desk falling quiet. Only the fire crackling in the fireplace could be heard as Theodosia shut the door gently behind her and leaned her back against it, amber eyes fixated on the man who stood still turned away from her. 

“You could have told me.” She said, her words oddly detached, “I would have helped you in any way I could.” 

For a moment he said nothing but his gaze did shift from his desk and to the flames within the fireplace, not quite meeting her eyes and yet still showing her more acknowledgement than he had before. He should have known that Dumbledore would tell her one way or another, especially when she was summoned to his office not but an hour ago; leave it to the old wizard to wait until just hours before his time. 

“There was nothing you could have done.” He finally replied, a grave tone to his rumbling. 

“Maybe not for Draco, but certainly for you.” Theodosia countered, her gaze also shifting to the fire, “You know in your heart that there is not a good enough reason that you should have kept this to yourself. I have never given you the impression that your secrets are unsafe with me.” 

“What do you know of my heart?” Severus hissed softly but there was hardly any venom to his words; they were more defense than offense. 

It drew a laugh from her, dry and quick, and the woman looked back to the profile he offered her. 

“Don’t play this game, Severus.” She replied, and only now did he hear exhaustion, “Don’t insult what we have by pretending to be oblivious to it.” 

That drew his gaze rather quickly, the professor finally tearing his eyes from the fire to look at the woman who still leaned against the door. Over the last few weeks she had looked more and more tired with each day but the unflattering shadows cast by the fire made her look more rugged than he had ever seen her before. Her usually glittering eyes were dull and the glow of her dark skin had dimmed to something less lively. In the back of his mind he still thought she looked beautiful even in such a state, but now hardly felt the appropriate time for romantics. 

Though it was rather obvious to anyone who had ever seen them in the same room, her vague acknowledgement of the shift in their relationship was startling to hear. Had this been any other time he would have relished in it, would have taken a few seconds to enjoy the warmth that flooded through his heart, but this was now. 

“Do you not think that it’s because of what we have that I have kept this from you?” He asked, dark eyes searching amber. 

“If that’s true then what was your plan?” She replied, “To send me an owl once you were finished? Perhaps even Obliviate me and drop me off in some far away land under the guise of my protection?” 

“Do you really think me so cruel?” 

“It is not out of your character.” 

He could remember just a few times when Theodosia had ever been angry at him: once when he demanded she stay at his side through a whole year and again when he insulted her before the Yule Ball. Those times had been different, though, filled with glares and storming out of the room. Her anger then had been bright and outspoken, a pale contrast to what she was now. Theodosia was angry, that could not be denied, but the calmness of it was what scared him most. The frown on her lips was firm and the look in her eyes was  _ tired _ , as though she had spent so much time in this rage that she could no longer feel the stings of its venom. This anger very nearly bordered on disappointment and it made Severus feel incredibly small. 

“I know you’re angry at me, Theodosia. You have every right to be.” He said and her eyes narrowed in return, “But I do not regret my actions because they were done in your name.” 

“How noble,” She huffed, crossing her arms as she leaned back further against the door, “What were you thinking, Severus? In your brilliant mind, what told you that I wasn’t to be trusted?” 

“Trust was not an issue and it never will be,” Severus replied, turning to face her fully, “My motivations were purly precautious.” 

“Another horrible thing I’m not allowed to know of until it's happening?” 

“No,” He frowned, “No, I…” 

It took him a moment to find the words, but soon they came to him. 

“You would make a terrible Occlumens, Theodosia. When you let me into your mind there was no resistance, not an ounce of a fight within you. Your heart and thoughts are laid far too bare for you to protect. Even if I were the worst of enemies, you would not stand a chance against another breech.” Severus explained to her, “Should I have told you everything then you would be completely defenseless in hiding it to anyone who came looking for it.” 

“Is there another Legilimens here?’ Theodosia asked, her brow knotted. 

“No, not here. But there may be soon, after I’ve done what I must.” He said, looking to the fire again, “Once the dust has settled there will be questions and suspects, and given our bond, you are sure to be at the top of their lists. Even the weakest of Legilimens would see that you had known all along and it would prove your guilt in a moment. If that were to happen then you would lose the protection of the Order as well as any chances for a peaceful life beyond this war. I have kept many things from you over the years, Theodosia. Things you have every right to know and would guard well, but anything more than what I’ve told you would damn you in the end. Every secret, every lie, every question unanswered has been for the sole purpose of making sure you could find peace when all of this is over.” 

For a while, she said nothing. She simply stared at him through the shadows of the fire, his gaze burning through hers even across the room. Her face remained plain and nearly blank, tired and unmoving, but as the time dragged on he could see that her amber eyes had begun to well with cold tears. They did not add to her anger but also did not quite convey genuine sadness; instead it was more of that  _ disappointment  _ that he had dreaded staring at. Severus did not expect her to fall to her knees and thank him in any way, perhaps just some sign of relief. There was nothing of the sort, only cold tears that dripped from tired amber eyes. 

Theodosia stared at him, this tall man of ivory and ebony, and felt in her heart that she had failed him in some way. All these years had been spent devoted to him, following him from one post to another, defending his name and betraying her morals to do so. She had given so much of herself and poured it into him, had pushed aside every fear that came with her blood status and every moment of doubt for his character, all for the sake of being able to stand proudly at his side. It could have been genuine insecurity on his part, something she knew he struggled with often, but this thought did not comfort her. Theodosia was still angry at him for having kept so much from her, but another part of her was upset with herself at the very idea that he felt like he had to. 

“I have stayed at your side for six years now, Severus. I have taken your anger and rudeness, I have watched you treat young children with bitter contempt and have been at the other end of a great deal of your harshness. You are the coldest, meanest person I have ever met in my life and I have long since accepted the fact that you are not a good man. You know all of this to be true,” She spoke, quiet but firm, and her words made his heart sink to the pit of his stomach. “I have been given a million chances by both you and Dumbledore to walk away from you and rid myself entirely of this place and all it’s memories.” 

It was the first time she had ever spoken poorly of him to  _ anyone _ , and it weighed heavily on his heart. Of course he knew it well that even for all his chivalry, he could not be considered a good person by any means. He would admit to his selfishness, his callous, but to hear it voiced by the dearest person in his whole world hurt more than he could have possibly thought it would. The gravity of it made him lean back on his desk just a little, grabbing at the edges of it to hold himself steady as she watched him. Theodosia never turned her glassy eyes from his and kept his gaze firmly, even as he seemed to fall apart before her. It made another tear or two drip from her chin and onto the stone floor but her voice did not break. 

“Not a single time in all of those millions have I ever considered leaving you.” She spoke, instantly putting a halt to the weight that had begun to settle on him, “Despite all the flaws of your character, all the wrong you have done, and secrets you have purposely kept hidden from me, not once have I ever wanted to be anywhere other than at your side. I’m sorry if I ever gave you reason to think otherwise.”

“Do not torment me with false hope, Theodosia, I beg of you,” He rasped, throat feeling entirely too tight, “Surely there is no part of you that could stomach the sight of me, especially after I do what I have sworn to.” 

“Don’t you understand?” She all but gasped, stepping away from the door and closer to him, “If I must fight for a Lord that wants me dead then I will fight until every ounce of magic within me has run dry. No matter what side you are on I will _be there_ , not for the cause, not for the master you serve, for _you._ There is nothing in this world that could take me from you, no blood you could spill that I will not step over.” Theodosia then said with steady and honest words, “ _I love you_ , Severus. When you’ve finished carrying out your task I will still be there, waiting to follow wherever it is you’ll lead.”

He crossed the room in such a hurry that the cloak of his robe billowed behind him like a dark cloud and Theodosia did not hesitate to meet him halfway. Severus took her into his hands, fingers intertwined themselves into her honey colored curls, and pressed his lips to hers with such a passion that every kiss before this lost its importance. She held him close to her and it wasn’t until her hands brushed along his cheeks that she felt the tears there. The discovery only made Theodosia hold him tighter, pressing herself so heavily against him that she could very well have meant to shape them into one whole.

True to her word, Theodosia was there. As the Dark Mark swirled in the clouds above Hogwarts and wicked laughter echoed through it’s haunted halls, the band of Death Eaters came upon her waiting at the door with her back to them as the world fell silent. The sight of her waiting for him filled Severus’ heart with such a love that he could not help but kiss her again right there- Dumbledore’s body not even cold. 


	42. Severus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There’s very little she wouldn’t give to be with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is much appreciated!

“Theodosia Blight,” He said between his teeth, hardly more than a hiss. 

“My Lord,” Theodosia bowed low to him as she had been told to do, the action not completely clearing the disgust from his face but lessening it only slightly. 

“It’s much better behaved than the last one, Severus,” The Dark Lord said, gaze flickering to the man who stood at her side, “But far less favorable, I’m afraid.” 

Neither of them replied, Theodosia still bowed low before him and Severus gaze unwavering as he watched the snake-like man continue to observe her. No matter the racing of his heart or the loud pumping of his blood through his veins, Severus did not show even the slightest hint of fear, not even as Voldemort rose from his chair before them. 

“I have heard your name for many years, mudblood, and yet only now do we meet. Why is that?” 

“I was uncertain before, a weakness I will admit to.” She said, some truth in her words. In the past she had been hesitant about joining the Dark Lord but her fate was sealed now, “I apologize.” 

“Humble, too,” He commented disdainfully, a cold weightlessness behind it as though he was amused by the very notion, “But your manners mean little to me. It is only because of your benefactor that you have even been graced with an audience, that you have even  _ lived  _ long enough to see this occasion- do well to remember that.” 

“Yes, my Lord. Thank you.” 

She was doing well- Severus would praise her for it later. For now, though, the tension in the air was still thick enough to choke on and there were many things yet to be said. At any moment Voldemort could change his mind, be put off by something as minute as a shift of her eyes, and all would be over for the both of them.

“I will admit that I am horribly disgusted by your tastes, Severus,” The Dark Lord said, tearing his eyes from Theodosia to address him again, “I would much prefer you seek your pleasure from another source, one with purer blood- and at the very least, prettier face.” 

A few gathered in the room snickered, one even wickedly cackling, but mother and son watched on in silence. 

“It is a grave misfortune that she should be of such low status.” Severus replied, hoping with everything in him that she would disregard his words entirely, “But I can assure you that she will serve you as diligently as I have, perhaps, one day, even more.” 

“Is that so?” 

The Dark Lord’s eyes may have remained on Severus but Theodosia could feel a sudden itch in the back of her mind, one she had been told to expect but hadn’t prepared well enough. As told, Theodosia did not deny him access and the ease at which she allowed him into her mind brought a wicked smirk to the villain’s lips. 

The entirety of her life was laid bare before him and he wasted little time in sorting through all of it. Once again she saw memories she knew well flash before her eyes, vaguely over her youth and then more focused on when she first began aiding Severus. She knew he was searching for any moment of defiance, anything that may tell him that her intentions were troubling, but his search seemed to come to a slow when the images of Severus became more frequent. As embarrassing as it was to have the Dark Lord feel her fluttering heart as she watched Severus give lectures or the warmth that pooled in her belly when they touched, she did not deny him the knowledge. 

_ “Do you feel conflicted, Miss. Blight?” A tired Draco asked, and she smiled a bittersweet smile, one filled with just as much tenderness as it did hopelessness. _

_ “No, I don’t,” Theodosia admitted softly and it was all she needed to say.  _

_ “Which side are you on?” Hermione asked in her memories, troubled eyes turned to her.  _

_ “His.” Theodosia had replied. _

  
  


_ “ _ _ If I must fight for a Lord that wants me dead then I will fight until every ounce of magic within me has run dry. No matter what side you are on I will be there, not for the cause, not for the master you serve, for you. There is nothing in this world that could take me from you, no blood you could spill that I will not step over.”  _

  
She was pulled from her thoughts by an excruciating pain that shot through the center of her very soul, one that brought her to her hands and knees the moment reality came back to her. Theodosia’s screams echoed in the room of marble as she withered on the floor under the Dark Lord’s intense gaze, white hot agony running through her veins.The sound of it made hair stand on edge and teeth grit behind sneers, and Draco Malfoy has to turn away from the sight of her misery. It felt as though someone had poured acid in her blood and it was eating away her very flesh despite the fact that no real skin tore. Theodosia had only heard rumors and read texts about the severity of the Cruciatus curse but she could never have prepared herself for this torture. 

Beside her Severus stood stiff and tense, his eyes squeezed tightly shut as a pain of his own slipped across his features. He wished more than anything that he could pull out his wand and defend her from the Dark Lord’s scrutiny, at the very least kneel beside her and hold her through it, but he knew better. If he had never hated Voldemort before, he certainly did now; Theodosia’s screams would surely follow him even in death. 

When it finally ended after what she knew was only moments but felt like hours, Theodosia took in such a deep breath that her lungs nearly burst within her chest. The fangs of pain may have been pulled out of her flesh but the sting of the venom still lingered inside of her. It was sweet relief compared to what the direct curse had made her feel but it was not comfort by any means. It left her panting and trembling on the cold marble, staring with wide and tearing eyes at her own reflection on the polished floor. 

“You have acted against me in the past, no matter how small the transgressions may be.” The Dark Lord spat down to her, “Should it happen again, Mudblood, that will have felt like  _ nothing. _ ” 

“Y-Yes, my Lord,” She gasped, struggling to rise from her hands and knees and back onto shaky feet. Severus longed to reach out and steady her but refrained. 

Voldemort’s eyes were fixated on her, anger still burning through crimson as he began to circle around the pair of them, a predator waiting for prey to show just one more sign of weakness before he moved in for the kill. Severus was used to the tension of being in the Dark Lord’s presence but Theodosia was not, and the lingering effects of the Cruciatus curse made it impossible to completely regain her composure. 

“Despite your sins and unfortunate blood, you possess a trait hard to find in even the purest of wizards.” The Dark Lord hissed, disgust clear in his words though they were positive in nature, “Loyalty, one that rivals even that of many of my most trusted followers.” 

“Not to you, my Lord!” A woman sneered from somewhere behind them but neither turned to look, “To Severus!” 

“This may be true, but Severus has proven himself now more than ever to be the most faithful of all of you. Therefore, loyalty to him is loyalty to  _ me _ , is it not,  _ Theodosia _ ?” The Dark Lord spat out her name like it burned his tongue. 

Severus showed no sign of relief or relaxation, still standing as straight as when they had first arrived, but Theodosia had a feeling that things were turning for the better. 

“Y-Yes, my Lord.” She replied shakily, head bowed now in more fear than respect, “He will serve you well until the very end and therefore so will I.” 

Voldemort stared into her, red eyes piercing through even as her gaze remained on the floor. She only let herself look to him when she felt the tip of his wand under her chin, tilting her head up to meet his gaze directly. It made her stomach flip, the sight of his crimson stare and reptilian sneer nearly nauseating, but it took every ounce of courage to not break the gaze he had allowed. 

“You may keep her, Severus.” Voldemort finally decided, eyes never leaving hers, “But should she even consider stepping out of line again, she will  _ beg _ for death, and you will watch.” 

“Thank you, my Lord.” Severus replied, a breathlessness to it that just barely conveyed his fragile relief. The threat brought her screams to the surface of his mind again but Severus didn’t dare to move a muscle. 

Theodosia felt as though something had been lifted from her shoulders; not entirely, but just enough so that she could stand a better ground again. It did not completely take the fear from her, especially when he stayed staring into her eyes, but it did help. Her safety was no longer on the line (well, not entirely anymore), now instead what little was left of her sanity. It was obvious that the Dark Lord was not finished with them just yet as the tip of his wand dug so deep into the skin of her chin that she thought he meant to draw blood. It brought an uneasiness to the surface, bubbling hotter than the momentary comfort of his decision. 

“I am a generous Lord, but not to the point of foolishness.” He spoke firmly, hints of a cruel smile beginning to tug at the corner of his lips, “I expect a life in return for the one I have spared.” 

The weight that had just been lifted came hurtling back down onto her, nearly crushing her entirely with its burden but she tried her very hardest not to buckle. She knew he could see the fear in her eyes because it spread a wicked smile onto his pale face. 

“Your parents are useless muggles,” The Dark Lord commented nonchalantly, and Theodosia once again felt an itch in her mind, “They have no place in the world we are creating.” 

There were tears threatening to sting at her eyes once more but she tried her very hardest not to let them surface. She may not have been the best daughter in the world these last few years but they were still her parents. They had given her a happy life and wonderful childhood, and she had nothing but fond memories of them. The very suggestion boggled her mind to near failure, the pressure squeezing so tightly at her heart that she could barely breathe another breath. 

“I-I-” 

“M-My Lord.” Someone called from the side of the room and it drew all three of their eyes to him.

Draco Malfoy stepped forward, looking incredibly pale and nearly sick, but he made a good show of trying to hold his head high. The Dark Lord sneered, lowering his wand from Theodosia’s chin as he turned to the boy. Narcissia reached out and grabbed his hand, trying to pull him back into silence, but he would not go. Instead his eyes flickered to Theodosia, whose hands were shaking and breathing was erratic, and a brief moment of understanding passed through them before he looked back to the villain before him. 

“I-If I may make a suggestion,” Draco said and the Dark Lord watched him curiously. 

“A suggestion?” He replied and it encouraged Draco further. 

“W-Well, there’s another professor at Hogwarts that she’s very good friends with, the Muggle Studies professor, Charity Burbage,” Draco said shakily and his words made Theodosia instantly freeze in cold realization, “W-We could make an example out of her, not only for what you’re due from Miss. Blight but for the rest of the school as well.” 

Theodoisa felt the itching in her mind again and then saw Charity, her dearest friend, from the moment they met to the last moment they parted ways. They saw afternoons in the courtyard, evenings spent blushing over naughty books, laughter and happiness, and the images made the Dark Lord  _ grin _ . 

“Why, dear boy, I believe that’s a  _ wonderful _ idea.” Voldemort all but cooed, “Do not consider yourself redeemed, but thoughts like that do not go unnoticed.” 

Narcissia pulled him back the moment the Dark Lord turned away from him but Theodosia did not turn her eyes from the boy. She knew he meant to help, thinking that he would prefer to lose a friend over his own blood, but it did not make the pain in her heart hurt any less. 

_ Charity _ . Wonderful Charity- who laughed with her at dinners and gossiped over handsome men, who had been as loyal to her as she was to Severus for the last five years. The Potions master excluded, Charity was her greatest friend and one of the few people she held dearest to her heart. She was nearly a sister at this point, one not of blood but of bond, who Theodosia held in such high regard that even the mention of her being hurt made her uneasy. But to think of her as  _ dead _ , to think that her days were numbered and her life was coming to a close because of Theodosia was nearly too much to bear. 

“Well?” The Dark Lord said, an amused gaze turned to her, “Shall it be her?” 

It didn’t have to be. She could refuse and let herself be killed right here rather than see her friend harmed. Theodosia would gladly lay down her life for the sake of saving Charity’s for however much longer she would live. It would take so little thought, just the faintest whisper of a protest, and Charity may be spared. In denying the Dark Lord, however, she would too be denying Severus. Theodosia slowly turned her eyes away from Draco and to Severus, looking at him for the first time since they had arrived. He was staring at her now as well, dark eyes almost unreadable but Theodosia knew him well enough to know the anxiety in his gaze and that hint of  _ doubt  _ that flickered through it. 

It was that look that made her pain melt instantly, that look in those dark eyes that she had spent every moment of the past six years adoring. Those feelings of disappointment within herself came back and burned brighter than any mourning; she had almost forgotten who this was all for: Severus. Severus, who only ever smiled for her and hid the very best of himself from the rest of the world. Severus, who had laid his life down a thousand times to protect her and whispered against her lips that he would do so until the sands of time had run out entirely. Severus, who she loved more than she could ever love herself and who held her like she was the most precious thing in all the world. 

No matter if it had been one of her parents, or even both, Theodosia knew the moment she met Severus’ eyes that she would have given anything to stay at his side. 

“Yes.” She said without the faintest trace of remorse, gaze still on Severus’, “It shall.”


	43. Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charity says goodbye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeeyy I did wanna make a quick reminder that this is kind of a bare-bones story, meaning the chapters are short and touch on the canon events rather than replaying them completely. Maybe if this was a full blown story I’d dive deeper into that, but I just wanted to remind you guys that it’s kind of just the outline for one (if that makes sense) 
> 
> Anywho- thanks for the comments on previous chapters and as always, feedback is much appreciated!

_ Theodosia,  _

__ _ Forgive the ink spills and poor handwriting, I’m afraid I’m writing this in quite a hurry- I don’t think my unexpected guest would be willing to give me more time. _

__ _ I struggle to find the words. I could tell you about how unusually cold this morning is for it being the middle of summer or about the alarmingly handsome neighbor who has moved into the flat beside me, but neither of those things feel appropriate. You know how much I hate goodbyes, especially sudden ones. I suppose instead of thinking of something important to say now, I will say the important things I have always wanted to say to you. I don’t want to make the last time you hear from me unpleasant but if there is no more time then there is no more hesitation.  _

__ _ I tried so hard to like Severus, purely for your sake, but in these last days of my life I can no longer deny the hatred I feel for him. He is cold and mean, incredibly selfish and horribly cynical: everything you are not. There is no logical reason as to why you should like him, much less love him, and I wish with all my heart that you would have fallen for anyone else. For years I have watched you waste away, convincing yourself that your love for him is worth more than your own morality, and I will die regretting having ever encouraged you to pursue him. There is so little left of you now; I feel as though I hardly recognize you sometimes. I don’t care about the happiness he brings you in his rare moments of kindness or how tender his lanky embrace may be- he will be the death of you. When the time comes, I hope you choose yourself over Severus; his life is worth so much less than yours. _

__ _ I once told Severus that I hoped you and I would be friends for the rest of my life- I’m glad that my wish came true. Though I never doubted your devotion to him, sometimes I doubted it to me. I know the rush that comes with love and those feelings that consume us entirely, how it makes the rest of the world melt away and tints your glasses far too dark. If I am to be completely honest, I don’t think I like love very much at all. You know I can appreciate handsome men when I see them and will stop to admire beautiful women on the streets but I had long since given up on love. Then I met you, and I think you may have changed that. I am lucky to have had a friend like you, one who I could come to care about with all of my heart and then some. _

_Ironic that the unconditional loyalty I can’t stand to see kill you is the same kind of loyalty I feel towards you now. I’ve always been a bit of a hypocrite though, haven’t I?_

__ _ If you should know anything, Theo, know that I love you. I should be angry because I know you played some part in all of this but my heart just won’t let me (if you don’t love without reason then perhaps you don’t love at all?). You are the greatest friend I have ever known and I will cherish every moment together even in death. Your only flaw is the man you love; other than that, you are entirely perfect in my eyes.  _ _ Thank you for the bond between us and the joy you’ve brought to my life, the joy I will feel until the end of it.  _

__ _ I hope you’re happy with the path you’ve chosen and I hope we meet again in the next life. I have a horrible feeling I’m going to miss my friend more than ever once I’m gone.  _

__ _ Your Friend, Even Now,  _

__ __ __ _ Charity Burbage  _


	44. Enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theodosia finally gets what she had always wanted, but it is not as she had hoped it would be.

Severus did not immediately look when she entered the room, instead deciding to finish the rest of the page he had started as Theodosia came to a stop on the other side of his private quarters before the large mirror hanging on the wall. Once the page had been read, Severus closed his book and set it aside before he finally gave her his undivided attention. 

She was standing nearly as still as a statue, dull amber gazing into dull amber as she looked into the mirror before her. Theodosia had changed out of her traveling clothes and into her staff attire, but the robes she wore now were entirely different from what she had worn in the past. Sapphire and silver had given way to ebony and pearl, her dress as black as night as it flattered her plump figure. The only pop of color were the pearl buttons down the front of her high-collared dress until they ended just where the skirt of it flared at her waist and brushed against the floor. Her hair had been pulled back into a low bun at the base of her head, loose enough to leave the body of her honey curls while still keeping them in order. 

Theodosia would always look beautiful no matter what she wore; sundresses and dirt or emerald and lace, Severus thought everything complimented the woman. Despite this, however, he could not help but feel as though the sight before him was just a little off. It was a somber look for such a vibrant woman- well, as vibrant as she had once been. The midnight of her robes made the dark circles under her eyes seem darker and the weariness of her gaze stand out nearly as starkly as the amber themselves. Black looked good on her but it did not suit her in the slightest; Severus missed the sapphire. 

Severus stood from his chair and came behind her, his hand reaching out to run gently against the fabric at her waist. 

“Where are your stars, my dear?” He asked, meeting her eyes through the mirror. 

“They don’t feel right.” Theodosia replied quietly, tucking a loose curl behind her ear, “Besides, I don’t want to push my luck.” 

She had been allowed to keep her position as Severus’ assistant on the condition that she had little interaction with the students and rarely used magic at all. Theodosia knew what example the Dark Lord was making of her by allowing her to come back; her love hadn’t blinded her so entirely. It was a silent message to the remaining students, a reminder that if her kind should exist it would be like  _ this _ , quiet and submissive to those of higher blood. Though she would miss the days of helping students with their potions and directing first years to classes, trying her best to be a ray of light during the most troubling of times, Theodosia would make herself content with this. 

She would be near Severus and that would be enough. 

“A pity,” Severus said, hand coming to rest fully on her waist, “I’ve grown fond of them.” 

Theodosia offered him a smile that did not reach her eyes and together they stood before the mirror in a stale silence. 

The sight before her, though grand because they were standing together and he was as close as she had always wanted him to be, was not a comforting one. Now that they both wore black they looked like they better fit a funeral than a school; perhaps this was a funeral of sorts, a moment to mourn the year ahead of them that would fall so incredibly short of the ones that had passed. They could very well have been one of those muggle Victorian portraits where one was a fresh corpse, stuffed and propped up with eyes glued open, given the illusion of life for the sake of one last picture. She could not find the courage within herself to admit which one of them was already dead. 

Severus was as he always had been but she had noticed a warmth to him lately that had not been there in the past. In recent years he had been kinder to her, his smiles more frequent and his words less harsh, but for the entirety of the summer there had been a sparkle in his eyes that almost always took her breath away. He was  _ happy _ and it was because of her, and that filled her heart with a warmth only Severus could ever brew within her. Theodosia could feel it in every kiss, hear it in every word whispered into her ear, that the last piece Severus was missing had fallen into place. The world may have been tense and dark, but Severus finally had what he had always wanted:  _ love _ . 

Theodosia had love too, and that was enough. 

She was different as well; Severus had made it a point to know her totally and so he could see how Theodosia has changed. Their world had been muddled and darkened by the master they now both served and for the entirety of the summer, Severus had feared that she had finally given too much. So many days had been spent just holding her as she cried into his chest, screaming through the grief and grabbing so tightly to his robes that she nearly tore the fabric. He knew what Charity had meant to her and what losing her had done: it had torn apart some part of Theodosia that he knew no amount of sweet words could remedy. No matter how many tears he kissed away, how tightly he held her against him, nothing could replace what was lost. 

Even though she reassured him that she could bear it, that it was just a price she was willing to pay, Theodosia would never move past this loss entirely. Severus had watched what little light was left in her eyes dwindle that day she read Charity’s letter and from there on Theodosia had lost some of her radiance. She still gazed fondly at him and touched him tenderly, but she no longer rambled on when they brewed or teased him when they worked. Afternoons once filled with chatter were filled with silence and more often than not he would find her simply staring into the fire or out the window, her mind so far away that even Severus could not hope to reach her.

The only signs of life within her came in tender moments between them, either when they kissed or shared any other affection. Her confession had changed them entirely and they loved as freely as two people in their condition could. Finally there was no hesitation that said they should hold back, and so they didn’t. He took her hand when he wanted and she stroked his cheek when the urge came to her. When they brewed they stood so close that their arms brushed against each other and sometimes when the light of the potion made her eyes sparkle Severus would press a tender kiss to her temple and she would smile at him as though all was right with the world.

Moments like those were the ones he lived for and so Severus figured it was simply an issue of time. She would come around again and regain the radiance she had lost in the midst of her grief, and he would be there to bask in it. 

“Come,” He said, his hand slipping from her waist, “The feast is soon.” 

“I’ll be there in a moment.” 

Severus nodded without a word and pressed a kiss to her temple before pulling away from her completely. Theodosia watched the billow of his robes as he made his way to the door, how he moved like a dark storm as he always had and felt that tightness in her heart that always came when he left the room. These days she could hardly stand to be apart from him for very long (a feeling she was relieved to find was mutual) and she had to call out to him again just as he opened the door. 

“Severus,” Theodosia said and he turned back to look at her. There was life in her eyes, if only for him, “I love you.” 

He smiled the smile she knew only she would ever see before he left the room, leaving her with nothing but her reflection. Theodosia stared back at herself, the smile leaving her lips and the air as cold as it was silent. The life was gone but she remained, tired and not looking forward to the semester, but at least she would be at his side through it all. 

She loved Severus, and that was enough. 

Wasn’t it? 


	45. Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry questions if Miss. Blight really is as loyal as she appears to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is much appreciated!

The radio crackled over the announcer’s voice, only slightly muffled by the thin fabric of the tent but not nearly as loud as it could have been. She could hear it clearly as she leaned against the tree, her ears perked in the dreadful event there was a name she recognized. Sleep beckoned her like a siren, offering her relief from stress and discomfort if only for a while, but she didn’t give in. Instead her wand remained held tightly in her hand as she looked out towards the dark forest that surrounded them. 

Harry peeked his head out of the flaps of the tent, surveying the area for just a moment until his eyes landed on her. Hermione offered him a small and tired smile, one he returned before making his way over and taking a seat beside her against the tree. 

“How is he?” She asked, watching his face through the dull illumination that came from within the tent. It was a faint light but enough that she could see him. 

“Asleep, finally,” Harry sighed, and she could think of nothing to say in return so she merely nodded and they fell into silence. 

The frenzy of the last few hours had died down enough, thankfully, but Hermione’s nerves were still set on edge and the worry for the boy inside the tent drove her to near madness if she dwelled on it too long. He was healed as much as he could be and finally resting, there was no point in letting herself be worn down by thinking of it more than she had to. She had to stay alert, at least until it was Harry’s turn to watch. 

“When did you get a chance to brew the potions?” Harry asked though the darkness of the night, “The Polyjuice and the Dittany?” 

The question made her think of sparkling amber eyes and a mischievous smile, and Hermione could not help but smile as well. 

“They were already in the bag when I got it.” 

“Really?” Harry questioned, confusion clear in his words, “Where did you buy the bag?” 

“I didn’t,” Hermione replied, the memory of that night making the smile slip from her face, “Miss. Blight gave it to me.” 

“Oh,” 

Both Harry and Ron had always been skeptical of the assistant but they had the decency to not talk poorly of her around Hermione. She had been something of a role model to the young woman, had been since she was just a girl, and even now she said her name with affection. Hermione didn’t talk about her much but she didn’t need to for them to understand that she had a soft spot for the woman. 

“Is she with us?” Harry asked quietly, weary of overstepping boundaries but still inquisitive nonetheless. 

She may have been with Snape but even Ron saw how kind she had been, how fairly she treated everyone. It gave Harry just a bit of hope that she had chosen the right side but the sad look that came to Hermione’s eyes squashed those thoughts instantly. 

“No,” Hermione admitted, almost as much to herself as it was to Harry, “No, she’s not.” 

He seemed to ponder the words for a moment, as if they had stumped him in some way, before he spoke again. 

“Do you really think that’s true, though?” Harry questioned and Hermione’s confused eyes turned from the forest and to him. 

“What do you mean?” She asked, “She said she wasn’t,” 

“Well, yes, but it’s not as though she’s never gone against him before,” Harry said, shrugging, “You’ve been telling us for years what a help she’s been, from sneaking ingredients and now to supplying us with potions and a bottomless bag.” 

Hermione wanted to argue that yes, while that was all true, Miss. Blight had changed for the worst recently. There was little left in her eyes and hardly a smile to be seen, not even a fraction of the woman Hemrione had idolized since she was just a girl. She was not the woman she had been in the beginning and Hermione wanted to say this, but something stopped her. 

Even with a weary gaze and air of defeat, Theodosia had still given her the bag just months ago. She may have lost some of her charms, had begun to spiral into a dark place, but she had still found her way though that enough and helped Hermione in the last way she could. Despite the love that she carried in chains and the loyalty that drained the life from her, she had fought her way to the surface and done what little she could for them, for their side. Her world was caving in around her and one of the last things she could think to do before being swallowed whole was  _ help _ . 

As useless as it may have been, Hermione could not help the hope that began to bloom in her heart. Despite her love for Snape perhaps there was a part of her, buried deep down under obligation and obsession, that knew the right thing and craved to do it. Whether it was guilt because she knew she was on the wrong side, or genuine goodness in her heart, Theodosia had subconsciously displayed numerous times over the years that she may not have given herself up entirely. Harry had a good point: no matter how many times she swore her loyalty to Snape and his cause, she never turned away the chance to help them. 

Harry must have seen the hope in her eyes because he offered her a small, encouraging smile, one made warmer by the dull light from the tent. 

“If the students at Hogwarts need her, do you think she’ll help?” 

And Hermione smiled, small and full of a relief that Harry hadn’t seen in a while. 

“Yes,” She breathed happily, “Yes, I think she will.” 


	46. Choice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luna Lovegood has spent a lot of time thinking about griffins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is much appreciated!

“I’m telling you, she’s hopeless.” Neville sighed, “I know she's helped Hermione before but things were different then.” 

“Oh, I don’t know,” Luna hummed, bright eyes set on the woman who sat staring up at the cloudy sky, “I think there's a very good chance.” 

“She’ll hardly talk to me for more than a few seconds, and the moment I mention it she goes pale and hurries off,” Ginny countered with a frown, her gaze also fixed on the figure in the courtyard. 

It was early in the morning before the majority of staff and students had woken, so the Clock Tower Courtyard was rather empty save for the woman who sat on the edge of the fountain and watched the start of another gloomy day. They had been up early for reasons of their own, and stumbling upon her had made the trio of them pause. 

“I’m going to try, then.” Luna spoke up suddenly after a moment, and she was off across the courtyard before either of her companions could stop her. 

“Luna, wait!” Neville called to her in a loud whisper but she carried on anyway. 

The sound of her footsteps did not make the woman turn or show even the slightest signs of acknowledgement, but Luna was not deterred. Instead she took a seat on the fountain beside the assistant and looked up as well, watching the wispy clouds as they rolled across the grey morning sky. For a while they didn’t say anything, instead watched the morning unfold in its own dull way. From the edges of the courtyard Neville and Ginny watched on while watching out, keeping an eye on the castle in the event anyone came walking through. 

“I think there's a herd of Griffins nesting in the forest,” Luna commented, eyes still turned up to the sky, “I’m rather certain I saw four just the other day.” 

Theodosia pulled her eyes from the sky and looked at the girl, who offered her a wide smile despite her attention staying on the clouds. 

She knew what Luna was trying to get at by sitting with her, seeking her out before the rest of the castle had woken for the few moments of privacy she could find. Neville and Ginny had already tried multiple times to talk to her, no doubt to ask for help Theodosia knew she could not offer, and Luna was likely no different. Theodosia would deny her just as she had her friends; a routine that was becoming a little tiresome to the already exhausted woman. But she was nothing if not kind, so she stayed sitting on the fountain. Theodoisa said nothing for a moment, simply staring at the girl, before she turned back to the sky again.

“Griffins?” Theodosia repeated quietly, detached, “How strange.” 

“They’re certainly unique,” Luna said in return, “Half lion and half eagle- what an odd pair the creature is.” 

Theodosia fell silent again but the cold morning air between them seemed to shift just a little, becoming more pleasant in some small way. When no reply came, Luna took it upon herself to speak again. 

“I know it’s usually associated more with Gryffindor, what with it being in the name and all, but I think it would suit Ravenclaws just as well.” 

“Why is that?” Theodosia asked curiously after a moment, and Luna’s kind smile widened. 

“Well, the lion has always been a symbol of courage and bravery, but that’s not all a Griffin is.” She hummed, “It’s part eagle as well, which has always meant intelligence and strength. I think they’re just as much eagles as they are lions, wouldn’t you agree?” 

“I suppose I would.” The assistant said, the thought having never occurred to her before. She didn’t spend much time thinking of magical creatures and what they could stand for, but Luna was an odd girl and it seemed only fitting that she did. 

Luna didn’t say anything but she did look at her again, her bright eyes focused on the woman. They were soft and kind but bore into her nonetheless, something she very nearly could have called unnerving. Theodosia looked back at her and met her eye, waiting for the girl to continue, but no words came. It seemed as though she was waiting for Theodosia to say something, as though she had reached a wall that could only be overcome if the assistant replied. Realizing that she did not mean to leave but also didn’t mean to speak again, Theodosia scrambled for words. 

“I can hardly handle being one thing, let alone two.” She finally said, much to the girl’s approval. 

“Oh, I know it’s very hard to be more than one thing at a time.” Luna said easily, as though the conversation hadn’t just come to a complete halt, “But I also think the Griffins would have an easier time then we do.” 

“Why is that?” 

The look in Luna’s eyes remained bright and dreamy, if not with more kindness than before. 

“Griffins  _ have  _ to be both intelligent and brave, it’s what they are,” Luna replied, leaning in just a little closer, “But we can only be both if we  _ choose  _ to be.” 

_ When the time comes, I hope you choose yourself over Severus.  _

Theodosia stared at her, suddenly wide-eyed and at a loss for words. She wanted to play naive, pretend she didn’t know why Charity’s messy handwriting burned in her mind right then, but she was never one for naivety. Theodosia knew very well why she was remembering it now, because right now was when those words would finally be put to use. This was a choice that she could make, that she had to make. 

By refusing to help the students she would be saving herself and Severus the persecution that came with it, keep them as far away from any sort of treason and give the Dark Lord no reason to make good on the threat he had made. Not helping meant there would be no risk to either of them and the relationship she had worked nearly a decade to build. Finally she had Severus as she had always wanted him and helping the students would take it all away from her in a flash of green and spill of red. She could turn away and they would go on as this, together and safe at the Dark Lord’s side. 

And yet, the idea of that scared her just as much as the idea of losing it. Despite all the time she had put into Severus, all the years doing whatever she could to gain his love, she had lost  _ so much _ of herself. Theodosia was not oblivious to how she had waned as Severus waxed, how every breath of life she breathed into him was a breath she needed for herself. After graduating from Hogwarts she had spent those seven years building herself out of practically nothing, shedding the heavy shackles of hesitation and self doubt and becoming the woman she had always wanted to be. She was more radiant then, more outspoken and more  _ herself  _ than she had ever been, then she was  _ now _ . 

She wanted to help, Theodosia realized. More than she wanted this dull security, this sanctuary of death and fear, she wanted to help Luna and do what she knew was right. If Severus could keep his secrets and serve someone as wicked as Lord Voldemort in the name of love and chivalry, then Theodosia could do the same in her own way. He would serve the Dark Lord for them, but she would defy him for them. Severus would have his own ways of getting to Provence and Theodosia would have hers. 

Charity was the last thing she would lose to this love, she swore that to herself right then and there. 

Theodosia was not an extension of Severus, she was not the shy girl who shifted on her feet and dreamily carrassed glass jars- no, she was so much more. She was loyal to the point of deception, willing to go against Severus for the sake of saving him. She was kind to everyone, helpful and bold, radiant and so much more than what she had been forced to be these last few months.Theodosia was so much more than her love for Severus. 

Theodosia was intelligent, that was no question, but she would be  _ brave  _ too. 

“I’ve always rather admired bravery, Miss. Lovegood,” Theodosia said as a mischievous little smile spread on her lips, amber eyes suddenly bright with the new sparkle in them, “I think I’ll give it a try myself.” 


	47. Stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She’s coming back to him, slowly but surely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Including this one, there’s 6 chapters left! Enjoy this last feel-good chapter while you can! 
> 
> Feedback is much appreciated!!

“It’s not as good as Muggle music, but it’ll have to do,” Theodosia hummed, observing the record in her hands. She never knew  _ The Weird Sisters  _ had a Christmas album, but it was better than nothing at this point. 

“Is there a difference?” Severus asked from before the fireplace, sipping at his whiskey as he watched the bright flames dance. 

This year their Christmas had been moved to a more private setting: the expansive Headmaster’s personal quarters. There was a sitting area on one end of the room with a grand fireplace that they had brought their personal chairs to sit in front of, and the other was a large canopied bed of deep emeralds and dark wood. It had been adjusted more for Severus’ tastes, but Theodoisa was obviously in mind as well. Though she had a private room of her own, the majority of the time was spent before the fireplace here. 

She had burrowed a couple candles from the Great Hall to hover over the mandle, which she had charmed to be plush with a garland of pine and red holly. There were a few other sprigs of Christmas around the room, like mistletoe in the doorway or a small glittering pine tree on top of his dresser. He figured she was trying to make up for the lack of decorations around the rest of the castle and so he indulged her; Christmas was a special time for him as well. 

Theodosia turned to him, a look of disbelief clear on her face even from the other side of the room. 

“ _ Is there a difference? _ ” She repeated, “Severus Snape, have I taught you nothing?” 

“Apparently not,” He mused, a smirk tugging at his lips behind his glass. 

A small smile spread onto her face, one as pretty as always, and she crossed the room to come to him. Severus set his glass aside so that he could place his hands on her hips when she came to stand between his legs and take his face into her hands, tilting it up so that his eyes met hers. 

Just as Severus had thought, time had done wonders for her. The first semester had been hard to endure for her, with the new curriculum geared against her and harsh punishments adopted by the new staff, but she had taken it better than he thought she would. He was sure she would cave within the first week and he would send her to the safety of her home, but Theodosia had adamantly denied the notion and taken it all in stride- even going so far as to show  _ disgust _ at times. Severus couldn’t for the life of him understand it, but he appreciated it nonetheless. 

Slowly, but surely, she was becoming herself again. Her smiles were more frequent and her eyes were bright at times; just the other day she had  _ laughed  _ at something he said, and Severus kissed her until her ears went red. Maybe she had finally learned to be content in this solitude, find what happiness could be found and take comfort in knowing he would be there through it all. Whatever it was that was bringing her back to him, Severus would be eternally grateful. 

Theodosia leaned down and pressed her lips gently to his, a gesture he returned with little hesitation. At the start of this new relationship he had worried that it would take time to get used to her affection, but years of her friendship and constant adoration made this role an easy one to slip into. He eased into her touch like a man drinking water after years without, finding a comfort in an embrace that he had never allowed himself to have before. Touching her and being touched by her came as easily to him as breathing. 

Theodosia pulled away just slightly, and the feel of her smile against his lips summoned his own. 

“Happy Christmas, Severus,” She said sweetly, and he gave her hips a soft squeeze. 

“Happy Christmas, Theodosia.” 

Christmas went on as it had for so long, Theodoisa in his arms as they danced before the fireplace to the pretty music that blared through the record player. It could have been to compensate for the horrible world outside his quarters but there was a lightness to this holiday that hadn’t been there in the ones previous. Severus pulled her hair from her bun and ran his hand through the honey-colored curls and she forwent the formality of their previous dances to wrap her arms around his neck. Love had brought a new sort of comfort between them, one that had Theodosia laughing as he dared to dip her low when the music came to a jolly climax. 

It felt like the first time since Dumbledore fell that they were able to enjoy what burned bright between them. Of course they had kissed and caressed before this, but never with the ease they did now. Now it almost felt childish, to love like this while the world fell around them, but they would not deny themselves the pleasure. It was just a moment of peace before obligation caught up to them again and duty pulled them back into darkness. 

This kind of joy, especially in such bleak times, was a hard one to let go of. Soon midnight had come and passed, the fire whiskey had run dry and the last song on the record had come to a gentle halt. Their cheeks were red from both booze and adoration, smiles easy and hands full of each other, but the night came to a close far sooner than they had expected. 

“It’s getting far too late,” Theodosia remarked, light-hearted despite the dred that came with drawing their wonderful evening to a close, “I should probably get going,” 

It could have been how nice it was to see her smile again, or how the twinkling candles on the mantle reflected in her eyes, or even the whiskey that still lingered strong enough in his system to make him brave, but Severus reached out for her hand as she stood from her chair of stars. 

“No,” He said softly, dark eyes boring into hers, “Stay.” 

And she did. 


	48. Doe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Perhaps some part of him still loved Lily, but it was nothing compared to what he felt now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is much appreciated!

The doe that sprang from his wand lapped around the room in a brilliant silver mist, graceful with every prance and beautiful in every sparkle. It circled them once before ascending higher to leap through the window, and both of them watched it until it was gone completely from their sight. 

“Thank you, Severus,” Dumbledore’s portrait spoke, nodding in approval, “It will be a great help to them.” 

With that the late headmaster stood from his chair and left the frame, leaving Severus and Theodosia to the silence of the office. The assistant had sat herself on the edge of the desk and Severus stayed before the window, still looking out to the dark night as though he expected the doe to come back at any moment. She was not oblivious to the tender frown on his lips, or the knuckles that still grabbed his wand so tightly that they were nearly translucent. 

“A doe,” Theodosia observed, “That’s the last animal I would have guessed.” 

Truthfully, a part of Severus had thought it would change. It had been a long time since he had cast the Patronus charm, since before he and Theodosia had reached the intimacy they shared now, and he had entertained the idea that Lily’s doe would no longer spring from the tip of his wand. He had heard that love could change the shape of a charm- it had done so to Theodosia’s, surely it could have done so for him? 

He didn’t understand why it didn’t. Severus had finally allowed himself to turn away from the bitterness of unrequited love and all but forget the image of green eyes that lingered in his mind, and yet here she was still alive in some part of him. Though the memory that produced his patronus had been of Theodosia, the sight of her waiting for him the night Dumbeldore fell, the doe that came alive was not her in the slightest. Instead it was Lily, still, and he could not begin to understand why. 

“Do you know why?” She asked when he offered no words in reply, “It’s very unlike you.”

Once again, he said nothing. 

Theodosia fell silent, gaze shifting from where Severus stood as still as a statue and to the window where the doe had leapt out of. Her heart ached at the name that had surfaced in her mind, a name she had tried to shove into the darkest corners of her conscience since she had first heard it. It had taken every ounce of strength within herself not to dwell too long on it; even after Severus had eagerly accepted her love, she sometimes still lingered on the love that had driven his whole existence in a time long before her. In the beginning it had worried her, nearly discouraged her entirely, but time and reason had leveled her head enough to not flinch at the mere thought of her. 

“I see,” Theodosia said softly, “It’s Lily, isn’t it?” 

Severus turned quickly to her and at the sight of the melancholy smile on her lips, he tensed further. He stared at her, dark eyes wide and uneasy, as she stayed near the desk and out of reach. 

“How?” He finally asked after a moment of silence, hardly above a whisper. 

“Dumbledore told me the night he died. He didn’t go into much detail but he didn’t need to.” Theodosia replied quietly, “A woman knows these sorts of things.” 

It was meant to be a poor attempt at a joke, he knew that, but the smile on her full lips weakened to something less beautiful. Silence stretched on between them once more, the most uncomfortable and unfamiliar kind they had ever felt before. He could feel the uneasiness shifting around inside of him, a feeling he couldn’t quite describe creeping up the back of his neck. Severus wasn’t sure what to say, what could be said that would somehow bring the usual warmth back to their company. 

How do you admit to the one you love now that the one you had loved before still had some hold on your heart, a hold you had thought long since vanished? He had told Dumbledore in all confidence that it was  _ Theodosia, always  _ and yet he had never said it to her. For every time she whispered those three beautiful words against his lips, Severus had never returned them. He had wanted to because he did love her, could feel in his heart how much of Theodosia was intertwined in his very soul, and yet the words sat unspoken on his tongue. Severus had always wondered why, pondered what held him back from giving her this last unspoken piece of their bond, and the doe that had sprung forth from his wand had answered him better than any of his contemplation ever could. 

“Do you think poorly of me?” He found himself asking before he even realized the words had left his lips. 

“No, I could never,” Theodosia reassured him quickly, standing from the desk so she could come to his side. She took his face into her hands and he subconsciously relaxed into her touch, “It would be cruel to ask you to forget her entirely, to not miss what you’ve lost.” 

He closed his eyes, leaning a little more into her touch as she spoke. It was a relief, if only slightly, but it was enough to calm his nervous heart. 

It had been a long time since he had thought of Lily, far longer than had ever occurred in his life. Being loved by Theodosia was busy work; her constant affection and the insatiable desire to be near her consumed most of his thoughts and time, leaving him little room to think of much else. But if he did let his mind linger on it, more than a skim or passing thought, perhaps there was something that still flickered to life within him at the memory of green eyes and a childhood long since past. 

A lifetime of love and obsession didn’t just die out at the possibility of a new source of happiness. Perhaps he hadn’t felt it because he didn’t want to, instead wanting to focus on and feel only what Theodosia brought to life within him, but ignoring something does not pull it from existence. Now, hearing her name aloud and thinking of her again in greater depth, Severus could feel the traces of that same love that had consumed him for over twenty years. It wasn’t as powerful as it had once been, didn’t seize him completely with its joy or misery, instead it was simply there. Dull and neglected, but certainly still there.

“You’re mine now, aren’t you, Severus?” 

The words made his eyes open, gaze coming to meet her own kind amber, and the smile on her lips had regained its tender beauty. 

Perhaps a part of him loved Lily still, some small and aged corner of his heart was dedicated to her and her alone, but what burned bright inside of him at the sight of Theodosia’s smile was so much more than anything he had felt before. 

She was the beginning and the end, both sun and moon, every moment of joy and every second of suffering. Theodosia was so much more than he deserved, then he could ever hope to be, and she was everything to him. He would spend eternity plucking each star from the sky if she asked it of him, move mountains with his bare hands, or challenge god himself if it meant he could stay at her side for the rest of eternity. 

“Entirely.” He answered in all truth, each syllable filled with his love for her. 

It made her eyes sparkle in the way that had captivated him so entirely in the first place.  


“And I am yours, as well.” Theodosia replied tenderly, “And _that_ is all that matters.”  


Severus could not help but kiss her breathless. 

Lily had been the past, that he could not deny, but Theodosia was now and  _ forever.  _


	49. Cruciatus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theodosia is caught.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is much appreciated!

Severus rounded the stairs in a fury, the anger on his face terrifying and the sneer on his lips fierce enough to make the boy flinch. The Headmaster rounded on a very winded Neville Longbottom, dark eyes burning bright as they glared down at the wheezing student. 

“If you don’t stop your yelling, boy, I’ll-!” 

“I-It’s Miss. Blight!” Neville managed between gasps, “A-And the Carrows!” 

The rage was gone in a moment, replaced with a fear he made no move to hide as Severus quickly pushed the student out of his way so he could all but dash down the hall. 

He heard the screaming first, the ear-splitting agony that had haunted his thoughts and dreams since the night she had met the Dark Lord for the first time. The shrill sounds of it bounced off the vast halls and the louder it got the more his jog turned to a  _ run _ , until Severus was sprinting through the corridors of the castle. Students were fleeing around him, fear clear in their eyes and whispering in hurried tones as Severus pushed his way past them. 

There were a few students who had dared to stay, gathered around the bend of the hallway and fearfully watching the sight that unfolded just before the room of requirement. Ginny Weasley and Luna Lovegood were among them, as well as many older students who had caused trouble throughout the year, held away by a very panicked McGonagall who tried to urge them back and away from the violent sight behind her. 

“Severus!” McGonagall cried out to him when he finally ran into sight, “Do something, please!” 

He pushed past the small crowd of worried students and the professor between them, and Severus wasted little time in raising his wand against the grinning Death Eater who’s wand was pointed right at the woman who withered against the ground. 

“ _ Stupefy!”  _ Severus roared, the force of his spell sending Amycus Carrow flying into the stone wall with a sickening crack. 

The broken spell made the screams finally die out but did not stop the lingering pain that kept Theodosia whimpering and panting against the cold floor. Severus was at her side in a moment, kneeling over her and taking her face into his hands. The sight of her blood staining his pale fingers made his heart sink to his stomach, the cold touch of her skin on his nearly seizing his heart with so much panic it made bile threaten to rise in the back of his throat. 

“Theodosia,  _ Theodoisa _ ,” He managed to call out to her, distress clear on his usually stoic face, “It’s alright, I’m here,” 

She trembled under his touch, staring up at him with wide and unseeing eyes as tears ran in rivers down her face and into her loosened hair. The sight of him did not sooth her as it always had, instead it did very little to remedy the whines and sobs that slipped through her lips. She must have hit the ground hard, as blood smeared across her temple as she withered against the old stone. Theodoisa was here and yet so very far away, consumed in a world of agony that even Severus could not hope to pull her back from. She looked but did not see, inhaled but did not breathe, and when no reply came from her split lips Severus felt something sinister wrap around his heart. 

“That  _ mudblood whore _ was helping the students sneak around!” Alecto cried out angrily from where she had gone to her brother's side, “She has defied the Dark Lord, Severus! Kill her!” 

All he could think was that they had _ hurt her _ , had torn such horrible screams from her lips and caused her unbearable pain, and the fury that tore through him was nearly blinding. He didn’t care  _ why _ they had done it in the first place; the sounds of her agony still echoed through his mind and fueled the fire that burned bright in his chest. The last time he had seen the Cruciatus curse wrack her body with such horror, Severus had been completely helpless to stop it, frozen in his place like a coward weighed down by submission. 

But now there was no Dark Lord breathing down his neck, no fear of punishment or worry of more pain. Instead there was only the furious storm that brewed within him and soured his mouth with a bitter taste. Severus had known anger before, perhaps even rage, but the feeling that consumed him at the feel of her hot blood on his hands as he caressed her, the look of amber eyes still wide and wild with a pain he had been fortunate enough to never know, was unlike anything he had known before. 

Blind fury made his world go  _ red _ , and before Severus had even realized what he was doing his wand was pointed at the cruel woman who sneered at the pair of them. 

“ _ Avada-!”  _

"No!” Minerva cried out desperately, suddenly beside him as she grabbed tightly to his arm and pulled it back, “Severus, enough!” 

It tore through the anger for just a moment, cleared his eyes as Minerva pried his wand from his fingers and instead stunned the professor herself. The anger left him breathless, bubbling hot in his veins and nearly sucking every drop of sanity from his mind as a tense silence hung over the small crowd of them. With the Carrows both out cold it was only the group of them, the brave students and exhausted staff, as the weight of what had almost happened sat heavy on their shoulders. There was nothing to be said just yet, no words that could remedy or even make sense of what had just occurred, and it wasn’t until Theodosia finally sucked in a deep breath of air that signaled some sign of consciousness that anyone moved again. 

Severus’ focus was back to her completely, Theodosia’s face in his hands as he loomed over her with barely contained distress. Amber eyes finally  _ saw _ him, if only a little, and she turned her face weakly into his touch as he had prayed to the gods that she would. 

“S-Sev-” Her throat gave out on her, coarse and dry from the screams that had rattled the foundations of the castle, and he was quick to quiet her. 

“I’m here, beloved,” Severus reassured her tenderly, uncaring of the eyes on them, “I’m here,” 

The tears that welled in her eyes were different now, not of cold hurt but instead a burning  _ fear, _ one that pulled a sob so raw from her throat that it ripped some part of him in half. Severus took her into his arms, lifting her from the cold floor and pressing her so tightly to him it may have felt as though he expected her to slip through his fingers at any moment, but she could do little more than lean into his embrace. He stood on shaky legs, the only firm thing about him being the frown on his lips and the arms around her, and paid little else much care as he stormed down the hall with her in grasp. 

Minerva could do little but remain standing where she had interrupted his spell, shaken by both his rage and love, and the students were no better. 


	50. Naïve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Safety does not always mean solace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is much appreciated!!

It had taken nearly a week before Theodosia was able to stand on her own two feet again. In that time the halls of the castle had remained deathly quiet, the chill that had hung in the air since the start of the school year now nearly freezing, and few truly knew why. The Carrows had been Obliviated before they woke from their stunned state and neither of them were wise enough to question the mutual fault in their memory. They went on as usual with little care for the new hatred that burned in the older students’ eyes and the heightened curl of Minerva’s lips when they were near. 

Severus had yet to be seen by the bulk of the school, forgoing the silence meals and stale hallways to instead spend every moment he could in the hospital wing, where Theodosia had been brought to recover. 

The table beside her bed had been consistently filled with many wonderful things, snuck in by the very students she had been helping. There were flowers that changed color with the time of day, candy of all flavors and sorts stacked high, and kind notes of appreciation here and there. Madam Pomfrey did not question how they had gotten there or attempt to take them, thanks to a few words muttered under the Headmaster’s breath. They had made her smile when she first saw them, so weak it hurt more than it did help, but it was a happiness Severus could not deprive her of for the time.

As the days had passed and she showed signs of improvement, the worry inside of Severus had dwindled, instead replaced with something that left just as bitter of a taste on his tongue. 

He was angry- no,  _ furious _ . Not the same way he had been towards the Carrows, not the kind for idiotic students or even cocky jerks, no, this anger stemmed directly from the betrayal that had planted itself deep within his heart the moment he laid Theodosia on the hospital bed that night a whole week ago. He had tried not to let it fester, let it consume his every breath and thought, but love had always made Severus a nervous creature. The Headmaster knew better than to bring it up now, while she was still recovering from the aftermath of such dark magic, and so he had spent the whole week just sitting in his negativity. 

She was not completely better but she was starting to show signs of herself again. Theodosia had taken to spending the nights in Severus’ chambers since Christmas, but she resigned to her own room the night she was released and rose this morning with a little more light in her eyes. It was a sight that should have calmed him the moment she entered his office, dressed back in her ebony attire and pulled back curls, but it did not. 

Theodosia must have known what he was feeling; she was not a Ravenclaw for nothing. She too had spent the week trying to sort through the rubble of what had happened, trying to figure out ways she could approach the matter that loomed over their heads. Theodosia could see the mistrust in his eyes with every touch, the anger that flared in them when he glared off into nothing as he sat at her side. His care for her hadn’t wavered (or had it? She wasn’t brave enough to wonder) but it still made her hesitate, reconsider for a moment everything that had led up to this morning. 

The silence that hung between them was deafening, pricking at their skin and sitting heavy on their shoulders. Never had there been this sort of tension before: laced with doubt and thick enough to cut through. They felt the unfamiliarity of it just as heavily as they felt the discomfort, and it was that very discomfort that finally pushed Theodosia to speak when the early afternoon light began to peak in through the window. 

“Severus?” She said softly from where she was on the other side of the office. 

He did not look up but his quill did cease scratching for a moment, before he resumed. When no words came in reply, Theodosia spoke with a frown. 

“Severus.” The assistant tried again. She was met with more silence, and this time it irritated more than it offended, “Ignoring me won’t do you any good, you know. I can be incredibly annoying if I want to.” 

If he wasn’t so angry with her the comment may have summoned a smile, but instead his lip curled as he finally raised his gaze to meet hers. 

“ _ What? _ ” Severus all but hissed, and Theodosia nearly backed down entirely if it wasn’t for the anger that the vile sound beckoned within her. 

“Don’t take that tone with me,” She remarked quickly, “And don’t play naïve.” 

“Isn’t that what you think of me, though?” He scoffed, setting his quill back in the ink pot, “A naïve  _ fool _ who would never know what you’ve been up to while my back is turned.” 

“I never did anything with the intention of betraying you-” 

“Loyalty to  _ him  _ is loyalty to me,” Severus cut her off coolly, “Words you once agreed with, are they not?” 

“But you are not him, and if you mean to tell me now that there is no true difference between you two then I refuse to stay another moment.” 

Neither of them spoke, instead stayed in the intense glare they held from either side of the office. For not the first time in many years Severus missed her old habits of sheepishness and insecurity, if only to not challenge him as she did now. The bravery she had gained in her age was impressive when it mattered and infuriating when it defied him. Maybe he had some part to play in it too, the years of his firm attitude had likely encouraged her own, but whatever the source was he dreaded it entirely. 

“I have worked very hard for so many years to ensure your safety, Theodosia, and you’ve decided to throw it away  _ for what _ ?” He asked, his anger barely contained in his words. 

“Don’t act as though it’s all been for me alone,” Theodoisa bit back, unused to the temper that bubbled so quickly within her. 

Severus knew the implication of her words, felt every sting of the venom within them, and he rose from his desk. 

“Do not be cruel-” 

“Like the Carrows?” She cut him off loudly, stepping forward, “Like the punishments given to the children or the lies we shove down their throats? If you want to suddenly condemn cruelty, Severus, I’m the last place you should start!” 

“I cannot control those things but I can control this.” Severus angrily retorted, “Your actions, though noble in your eyes, have threatened our lives. Lives I’ve done everything I can to protect.” 

“Do you think I put us at risk just for the thrill of secrecy?” Theodosia shouted at him, and the sound of it surprised him more than he let show, “Those children are our only hope, Severus. Should Harry Potter succeed, we could be  _ happy _ !” 

“We can have that now!” He shouted back, rounding his desk to stand before her, “I understand it’s not as sickeningly romantic as you would have liked but we’re safe and alive, more than many others could say.” 

“Yes, and what a happy life this is!” Theodosia exclaimed, gesturing around them with a wide sweep of her arms, “We can only touch behind guarded doors, can only  _ smile  _ at each other when there’s no one else around! What does it matter that we’re alive if we’re hardly living at all?” 

“It’s easy to want more when you’re not the one in charge of getting it!” Severus yelled, anger burning hot in his eyes and mirroring the fire that roared in her own, “I have done everything within my power to keep you safe and you go running around behind my back for some idiotic idea of justice! Of all the foolish,  _ selfish-!”  _   


The fist that collided with his cheek came so quickly that he hardly realized what happened. Severus stumbled back from her, blood pooling in his mouth from where teeth had cut open flesh, and he grabbed at the desk behind him to steady himself. The shock hit him harder than the pain of the blow, and Theodosia gave him little time to recover from it as she grabbed tightly to the front of his robes. 

“How dare you!” She shouted in his face, “I have lost so much to stay with you! My life, my happiness, my pride,  _ my best friend!  _ I have given everything you’ve asked of me and you dare call me  _ selfish _ ?!” 

Theodosia had half the mind to strike him again, rose her fist high to do so, but the look on his face gave her pause. It was an expression she saw rarely and an emotion he probably felt even less, one that raised his brows and pulled a frown at his lips. She could see it clear in his eyes because she _ knew him _ , better than herself at this point- Severus knew he was wrong. It made hot and angry tears well in her eyes, and Theodosia let her fist lower as she grabbed tightly to the front of his robes once again. 

Sorrow overtook the anger, filled her chest and heart so completely with it’s mighty grief that Theodosia could do little to fight against the tears that fell rapidly down her cheeks. The last week had been a blur of forced optimism and slow recovery, but she could feel in her heart that something had changed, twisted into something ugly and horrible inside of her that no amount of time could change. Maybe it had been the curse itself that warped the little happiness in her heart, or the cruel realization that she was still not safe here, but Theodosia felt a sadness unlike any she ever had before at Severus’ look of guilt. 

“This can’t be what it was all for, it can’t be!” She finally let herself weep, desperately staring into his eyes, “Are we really to be  _ this, _ forever?”

He should be angry, he knew that, but Severus couldn’t bring himself to feel anything more than grief. Not even the blood beginning to dry on his chin or the bruise forming on his cheek could distract from the horrible sorrow that seized him in this moment, at the sight of her tears and the agony in her words. Severus had hoped she had managed to find happiness here, as they were now, but it had been a foolish dream to ever think it possible for someone as brilliant as her. Severus, in all his cold wickedness, could be content as they were now, but Theodosia could never be. It had been stupid of him to have ever believed otherwise. 

“I’m sorry,” He finally managed to say, little more than a coarse rasp, “I’m so sorry,” 

What he was sorry about, he couldn’t decide. Whether it was for pulling her into this mess for his own pathetic desires, for allowing himself to get close to her while knowing the consequences, or for calling her selfish when she was anything but, he didn’t know. But he did mean it with every fiber of his being, every piece of his broken soul: Severus  _ was  _ sorry. 

Theodosia couldn’t manage anything more than the raw sobs that tore through her throat, and Severus could do little else besides listen. 


	51. Peace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus and Theodosia put aside their spite for the sake of their last hour of peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayyee there’s some sexual content in this chapter! I don’t go into a whole lot of detail but boy is it there! So just a heads up! 
> 
> We’ve got three more chapters after this and then we are done! :’) 
> 
> Feedback is much appreciated!

“Theodosia,” 

The sound of her name stirred her from a restless sleep and she peered groggily out into the darkness of her personal chambers. There was just the slightest sliver of warm light from where the door had been opened but it was almost completely blocked by the figure that stood within the threshold. 

She shifted to sit up straighter and rubbed the sleep from her eyes as the door was opened wider, filling the space with more soft orange light. 

“Theodosia,” He called again and finally the assistant turned her gaze to him. 

“Severus?” She replied tiredly, hardly able to make out his face from where her bed was on the other side of the room, “What’s going on?” 

“Harry Potter has arrived in Hogsmead.” 

That made the fog in her mind disperse within a moment, all the sleep vanishing from her mind the moment the words left his lips. She fumbled for her wand on the nightstand, whispering a soft  _ Lumos _ to it before the whole room was flooded with more gentle illumination. 

Theodosia had thought that when this moment came she would feel a relief unlike any other. Every time she imagined hearing this news it was always with joy, like a weight had been taken off her shoulders. Harry Potter meant hope, a bekon through the darkness signaling that the night would finally come to an end- she thought she’d be ecstatic. 

But as she looked at Severus’ tired face through the dim light, the frown on his lips and the weariness in his dark eyes, Theodosia realized that she felt nothing of the sort. What should have been lifted pressed down heavier, sinking to her stomach and filling the pit of it with something entirely different. Instead it itched at the back of her mind, whispered cruelly in her ear that this was the beginning of the end, that they had reached the last chapter and soon the book would close entirely. It could have been pessimism, of course, but it felt so real that neither could deny it completely. She could not shake the ominous feeling that came with this good news and it scared her. 

From the look on Severus’ face, he felt the very same. 

“How long do we have?” Theodosia managed to say, hardly above a whisper. 

“An hour, at most,” Severus replied solemnly and it took everything within her not to curl in on herself. 

The last few weeks between them had been silent, tense. There was no instant remedy to their situation, no spell to be cast or favor to be redeemed that could get them out of the mess they were in. Theodosia did not want a life built on lies and darkness, but Severus could not provide one without; she would never be happy as they were but he could not give her anything else. It was an impossible impasse they had reached, one that made the air between them cold and the love that once burned brightly shrink away. Days had stretched on in silence and little more was shared between them then lingering glances and a million unspoken words. 

None of that seemed to matter now, though, not as they stood staring at each other from across the poorly lit room. Every tense afternoon and lonely evening seemed to be all but dust in the wind now as the unspoken fear screamed at them that this could have been- perhaps even  _ was _ \- the last moment of peace they would be granted in this life. All the time wasted on bitterness and contempt filled them with an overwhelming feeling of having failed themselves in some way, like they could have spent these last few weeks enjoying every second of each other and what they had instead of letting something unfixable come between them. It pressed on them now, every second they threw away for the sake of disagreement, but with hardly an hour left they made the unspoken decision not to let themselves waste a moment more. 

It went without having to be said as Theodosia set her still-glowing wand aside and reached out for him, and Severus shut the door quietly behind him as he stepped into her room. He came to the side of her bed and took her hands into his own, pressing tender kisses to the back of her knuckles as they simply stared and looked over faces they had long since memorized. Without a word, she withdrew her hands and pulled the silk bonnet from her head, and when her curls sprang loose and free Severus joined her on the bed. 

There always seemed to be something more important than sex, something that demanded more of their attention or needed to be sorted out first. Of course it had crossed their minds before, more frequently over the summer, but there never seemed to be a right time. Each moment of tenderness before this came with fear riding on its tails, or the memory of what was lost stinging too sharp to ignore. But here, in the cool light of magic and with the hollow feeling of the end hanging above their heads, they let themselves seek out a pleasure they had long been holding back from. 

Theodosia fit perfectly into every hollow and dip of Severus’ body, her curves filling his hands as though made to be caressed by him. She left kisses along every inch of skin as it became visible to her; with each button undone came her lips, warm and wonderful against his skin as she followed her fingers that pried the clothes from his body. Even Severus, in all his cold indifference, could not help but press his lips to the freckles that covered her shoulders and painted the tops of her collarbones. 

How long she had wanted this moment, had waited to be looked at with the admiration he looked at her with now. In the beginning he had been cold, unmoved by her determination, but time and kindness had worked the wonders it was known to. Stiff formality softened to a subtle familiarity, until that all but melted to the intimate friendship they shared and eventually the love that now rose color to their skin. 

She touched him as though she was just waiting for him to disappear beneath her fingers, gently and nearly ticklish as her eyes followed her touch. He could feel the tremor in her hands as she carrassed him with a hesitation that she didn’t need to have. Severus had taken her face into her hands and whispered against her lips that he was  _ hers, entirely _ , and it made the uncertainty vanish as quickly as it had come. Severus all but melted to her touch, eyes never leaving her as she allowed herself to explore what she had for so long dreamed of.

Severus had wasted years longing for something like this from a woman he was never meant to have, had let it consume him so entirely that he nearly missed what was right before him. It almost felt impossible to imagine a life in which she was not a part of, what could have happened if she never came back to him- the thought was almost too difficult to bear. He could not picture a world where her smile was not his to cherish forever, in which the body he caressed now did not belong to him and him alone. 

Each sigh and shaky breath were rewarded with more of whatever it was that had drawn them from her lips in the first place- another glide of his tongue against her skin, a shifting of his fingers,  _ anything _ to keep her beautiful voice in his ears. Theodosia’s breathless moans rivaled only her laughter for being the greatest sound he had ever heard, and Severus seared each one into his mind just as he did the sight of her flushed and wide-eyed beneath him. The wonder of hearing her encouragement was a high he would ride for however much longer he could. 

Severus held Theodosia as he took her, slow and so beautiful that it brought tears to her sparkling eyes. He kissed each of them away and kept her in the warmth of his arms, and she pressed her lips to his with so much love it made his eyes sting. It was a steady pace between them, his hips moving against hers with a tender rhythm that made her legs tremble from where they were wrapped around his waist. Each sound that tore through their throats was swallowed by their lips, forever pressed together in a kiss they would both never tire of and never get enough of. 

It didn’t feel like sex, calling it that felt like an injustice. It was something more, something that couldn’t be said in words or written on paper. The feeling of having him  _ finally _ , after years and years of hoping for something like this made her feel completely and entirely content. Severus had waited what felt like a million lifetimes to be looked at the way she was looking at him now, like she existed only to be loved by him and him alone, and he would never know a greater happiness than the kind he felt with her. For just a while, between the soft sheets of her bed and in the cool light of magic, they were what they had fought to be. 

When the time came they stood before the door hand in hand, the tension of the weeks past nonexistent. There were no words, no rushed reassurance, only the melancholy feeling of belonging to each other completely for what could very well be the last few hours of their lives. 

It went without saying that whatever waited for them beyond the door would be difficult to face but no matter what it may be, they would face it together-  __ always.   
  



	52. Please

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theodosia hesitates for the first and last time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is much appericiated!

Before she even realized what had come over her, Theodosia hurried forward and sprang into action, deflecting Minerva’s last spell as she put herself between the dueling professors. The surprise was clear on everyone’s faces as the woman stood trembling, having almost grown unfamiliar with the feeling of her own magic after so long without. Having wand in hand made some small part of her shift back into place, sticking her feet a little firmer to the ground, but there was no time now to bask in the feel of it. 

She could feel the eyes of the students on her, the eyes of children she had risked nearly everything to protect and shelter, and the feeling of it made her skin prick. It took every ounce of courage within her to stay where she was, standing tall between them with her wand raised to Minerva. 

“Miss. Blight!” Minerva warned, pausing in her pursuit but keeping her wand raised to the pair of them as they backed closer to the wall, “Stand aside!” 

The part of her heart that rooted for these children, for the boy who stood watching with wide green eyes, told her to listen. She had given too much to this unhappy cause, and knew that the only true way to find euphoria would be if these children were to succeed. What was left of reason gripped tightly at the reins in her mind, begging her to  _ just one more time  _ choose to listen to the voice of morality and stand aside. The miniscule part of her heart that hadn’t been claimed by love beat strong in one last attempt to convince her, to push her completely to the side she had always walked the fine line of. 

Her hand trembled as she kept her wand raised and ready, pointing right at the head of Gryffindor house. She didn’t have to meet their gazes to feel the betrayal that stung at her flesh and left a bitter taste in her mouth. It took everything within her not to look at Hermione, either, who she had always favored and who admired her greatly in return. Hermione had once told her that it wasn’t too late for her, that there was still time; even now, after she and Severus had come so far and done so much, something within her briefly considered her words. 

“Theodosia,” Severus beckoned her quickly, and she turned back to him with wide and wild eyes as he stood on the steps with his hand extended to her, “We must go,” 

There was Severus, with his dark, pleading eyes, and the sight of them set her heart racing in the ways it always did. She had fought for so long to stay at his side, ignoring consciousness and morality for the sake of indulging in the love they shared, but as she stared at him now, caught within her last battle of right and wrong, Theodosia hesitated for the very first time. Perhaps it was for fear of her own life, or even the foolish part of her that still believed they could come out of this unscratched, but something within her faltered. 

“Don’t!” Hermione called out suddenly from the other side of the hall, Ron quickly grabbing hold of her as she made to move closer, “Or all you’ve done will have been for nothing!” 

She looked past Minerva, who’s wand was still raised in defense, and to Hermione, who now jerked against that hands that held her back. Theodosia didn’t need to be closer to see that look in her eyes, that spark of hope that she had undoubtedly nurtured in their time apart. The assistant was torn between appreciating the girl’s faith in her and agonizing that she had let herself hope in the first place, thus opening herself up to unfixable disappointment should Theodosia fall short. Of all the students who stood gathered in the hall, Hermione’s pleading eyes cut the deepest; it almost made her resolve crumble entirely. 

“Theodosia,” Severus said, softer this time, and she looked back to him with tears clouding her amber eyes, “Please.” 

He could see her hesitation, could feel the parts of her soul that had intertwined with his threaten to loosen, and it made a fear brew inside of him stronger than any he had ever known before. Once again he wished he had been a better, kinder man, and could let her go now in hopes that she would see the end of this night. Should he leave without her there could be a chance for her to find that happiness she had fought for, even if it meant he would not be there to share it. Severus could leave in one last grand gesture of protection, cutting her loose from him and therefore the burdens of the life he led, and maybe she could have all she ever wanted. 

But Severus was not a better man, nor was he a kind one. He was selfish, and  _ scared _ , and so horribly in love that he could not bear the thought of being parted from her, especially not now. It was that fear that pushed him closer to her, hand outstretching farther and eyes all but begging her to choose him  _ just one last time _ . 

“ _ Please.”  _ He spoke quietly, the deep tones of his voice nearly pathetic. 

It made every ounce of doubt within her vanish in a moment, to see Severus need her as much as she needed him. At once the voice in her mind was silenced for the very last time, completely defeated as she lowered her wand slowly. Whatever part of her heart that had hesitated was completely overtook by this look of desperation, by the way he all but begged her to follow. She almost felt foolish having faltered at all given how quickly the look in his eyes made her cave. Any thoughts of a life on the right side were gone, every consideration of good and need for justice now nothing more than ash. 

To take his hand would mean death, she knew that. There was nothing within her that hoped for a life beyond this battle, after the sun rose. Theodosia knew that by taking his hand she would deny Charity’s last request, to choose herself over him, but she couldn’t consider any other option as she looked to him now. She had made her choice when she returned to Hogwarts all those years ago, had made it when she saw the Dark Mark upon Severus’ skin and held him tightly to her, when he was given the position he had always wanted and she had little interest in and yet followed him anyway, and when she had sacrificed Charity’s life without so much as a flinch. 

Theodosia may have helped Hermione and these children, but even then it was still with Severus in mind. Every step of the way she had chosen him time and again, over logic and justice, goodness and righteousness. Behind every decision had been his rare smile, behind every defiance had been the dream of walking the shores of Provence at his side; everything she ever did was for him. She had lived her life to stay by his side, and now she would die to remain there. 

She looked back to Minerva, to the children who watched her with betrayal in their eyes and Hermione who still struggled against Ron’s grasp, and she let her wand drop to the floor with a resonating clatter. 

“I’m so sorry.” 

“ _ No! _ ” 

She turned and put her hand in Severus’, and together they fled the Great Hall in a black vapor. 


	53. Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> True to her word, Theodosia was there until the very end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long but here it is! There will be an epilogue after this and then it's done! 
> 
> Feedback is much appreciated!

“I am not a cruel master,” The Dark Lord had hissed, Nagini curled around his feet and reared back in anticipation, “Worry not, Severus, I will not make you die alone.” 

They had known it was coming. They felt it in between the soft sheets of her bed, on the steps of the Great Hall, and the moment they were summoned here to the boathouse. Of course there was talk of running, of fleeing now while the battle raged on around them, and yet there was no action made. Neither of them were entirely sure when they had completely come to terms with the end, but there was an unquestionable finality in the way Severus took her hand even as Voldemort stood before them, and held it firmly in his own. 

Despite his false promise and artificial generosity, a magicless death was a cruel one. The blood that poured from the wound in her throat drenched the front of her dress and brought the woman to her knees, desperate gasps and shaky breaths wracking her body as she fought for the life that began to seep out of her. Severus’ frantic words were lost on her as she choked but soon even he was silenced as the serpent launched forward and sunk it’s fangs into his neck. There was something hissed between teeth, some cold remark of servitude, and then the Dark Lord was gone. 

The stone floor was cool beneath her when Theodosia finally lost the strength to stay upright, the grip on her cut throat weakening by the moment as she could do little more but lay and watch Severus gasp through his own fleeting humanity. He was reaching for her, and she him, and Theodosia could focus on little else but his outstretched fingers even as someone moved to hover above. 

“Miss. Blight!” Hermione sobbed somewhere very far away, her tears falling onto Theodosia’s cheeks, “Miss. Blight!” 

Even if her hands were meant to help, or the agony on her young face was entirely for her, Theodosia didn’t spare Hermione much more than a shuddering breath. All that she could see, all that truly mattered, was Severus and how very far he was from her. The edges of her world seemed to be closing in on her, darkness softening the corners and casting a cool vignette on her vision, but she paid this, too, little mind. 

“Take me to her,” She heard him gasp after the boy capped the glittering vile in his hands, saw his lips move out of sync with the words that met her ears, “Please, Harry,  _ please _ ,” 

They were only shapes now, dark figures against a cold world, and there was a warm hand holding hers that was not outstretched. Harry helped him stumble the little distance and laid the professor beside his assistant, and soon she could see his face with such a clarity that Theodosia dared to consider she may not be completely gone just yet. 

“Severus,” She managed to say as a cold and clammy hand grabbed her own, “S-Severus,” 

It didn’t matter that the three students were gathered around them, that Hermione cried so horribly that Ron could do little else but hold her close as they watched the dying pair of them. Every hesitation of company and worry of judgement was little more than dust in these last few moments of their lives, and Severus finally shrugged off the chains he had so long been forced to carry. 

“I-I love you,” He gasped through blood and tears, “Theodosia,  _ I love you _ ,” 

His mouth had lost clarity, her freckles far too blurred now for him to see. They were fading from each other’s vision so quickly, fingers loosening of their own accord as they lay side by side on the cold, damp stone. Despite the blood that pooled beneath them, the pain that had long since numbed, or the seconds that rapidly dwindled, Theodosia smiled. 

"I-I love you too, Severus,” She said, hardly more than a mouthing of the words as darkness finally took all but his eyes, “ _ I love you,”  _

There was only amber and black now, fading and all but empty. Hands simply lay within one another, sobs silenced and cold stone unfeelable. 

They said the words without rhythm or filter, until their voices hushed in their bloodied throats and lips no longer found the strength to move. They said it until the darkness seeped across their vision entirely, until the world fell away to nothing. 

Perhaps it was Theodosia who should have gone first, or even Severus, but in the end they died as they had lived: together. 


	54. Provence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the end she was glad to be at his side, where she has always belonged- and Severus was happy to have her there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is!! The final chapter!! 
> 
> I just wanted to give a huge thank you to everyone who has left comments or kudos, and has read this story since the very beginning! Thank you all so much for your feedback and support; I’ve loved writing this story and hearing from all of you!! 
> 
> Thank you all so much!!

Severus thought he knew what death would look like. He had pictured it so often throughout his life that he had convinced himself he knew very well what waited for him the moment he breathed his last. It had been one of very few comforts in his mind: to know that in the end he would be happy. 

He once thought he would open his eyes and see Lily standing there in all her vibrant beauty, smiling her warm smile as she waited for him to join her underneath the trees and fields of his youth. Up until a few years ago Severus was rather convinced that he would finally find his happiness in death, where he could be with Lily forever in the fields of their childhood. It was a thought that once motivated him, often the only thing that pulled him out of bed most mornings. 

However, when Severus opened his eyes and did not see trees or fields, he was relieved. 

The sand beneath him was the purest white he had ever seen, lapped at by ivory waves beneath a creme sky. There was no color here, save for the black pants he wore, and it was all so bright that it nearly hurt his eyes. He lay facing an ocean, quiet and calming in it’s gentle motion, and when he found the need to turn his head he saw tall grass beyond sand and rolling hills in the far distance. As he sat up, becoming more aware of both himself and this new place, Severus could see a village tucked into the hillside- the sight of it made him smile

He did not technically recognize this place, he realized as he looked out into the white ocean, but he knew it in a moment. These sands and these waves were as foregin to him as the relaxation he felt but he knew in his heart where this life had placed him. Severus felt so content here with the burdens of the world lifted from his shoulders that he almost felt himself laugh at ease of this world, at the comfort it brought him. 

When he stood on bare feet the sand fell from his clothes and skin as though it had never touched them in the first place, and some warm breeze rolled through the light fabric of his pale buttoned shirt and filled him with a peace Severus had never known before. He was half tempted to simply stand there and bask in it until the end of eternity, but Severus knew well that he would not be here if Theodosia was not, too. 

The thought of her pushed him forward, made him begin to walk along the sand as he kept an eye out to the shore before him. Severus could feel his heart beating heavy within his chest but there was no anxiety, no fear that he would not find her. Instead there was only anticipation: to see his best friend again, to hold his love in his arms and feel her smiling lips pressed to his own. The thought brought a smile to Severus’ lips and this time he could not help the excited laughter that bubbled in his chest. 

For a moment he glanced to the village, to what he knew would be home, and when he looked back she was there. 

The sapphire of her dress was held tightly in her hands, silver stars glittering on it’s surface as Theodosia held the fabric in her grasp while she stood up to her calves in the warm white waters. Her eyes were closed, honey-colored curls loose and wild in the gentle wind, and the look on her face was the most peaceful he had seen in so many years. The sight of her took his breath completely, as it had so many times before and as it would for evermore, and rendered him useless as he could do little more but stop and stare at beauty itself. 

As though she could also feel the swelling of his heart or the love that seized his very soul, Theodosia opened her eyes and looked to him, gaze brighter in death than it had ever been in life. 

“Severus,” She breathed, a whisper carried on wind and filled with so much affection that Severus could not help but smile. 

“Theodosia,” He replied happily, feeling a stinging behind his eyes as her name left his lips.

And it made Theodosia smile like the summer, bright and beautiful and full of life. She left the waters and let her dress fall once more as she hurried to him, and Severus opened his arms wide for her warm embrace. Her laughter filled the air, mixed with his own as they simply held each other along the white sands, full of a love that carried on from their last life and flooded over into this one. 

Soon they pulled away from each other, smiles wide and eyes sparkling, and she took his hands into her own and guided him on, to where the tall grass parted for a path that led to the hills in the distance.

Hand in hand, the Potions master and his loyal assistant embraced the start of their long and happy forever. 


End file.
